Living within a life of inner hope. Is what one tries to only reach for? To be placed in a connected shields Grace. I had always spoken about Grace. Yet really could not find the answer all the time in the confines of a church movement. I think I must have been seeking some sort of real reality wishful thinking. I take life for what it is now. I believe everyone can make their own choice and destiny. To seek a Light of the unknown spirit hour clock time. Can or may disappoint you in the end. I remember my life was always in search for that particular goal in life. My everyday existed life was really one of a tight race of being able to reach for that one desired goal. To be some one of a high status. To try and find the reason for my quality sense of purpose. I really was a dreamer for a very long while in life. I cannot ever seem to pin point the right clear concise future for my life. I was on a gallon quest to year some sort of Spiritual Awakening sense. I could only do what I thought was best for my open life of trial and error. Life was just a little bit too hard sometimes. I desperately needed a true answer into clarity awareness light. I walk I ponder to myself out yonder. I am what I am. Yet life feels like an unbearable struggle. In sort of a rest life of a stumbling mental health collapse. Mental illness somehow ended up on my dish plate eventually. What I did was avoid the Anxiety delay. But the Deep dark Depression got the better of me in years to come. My Chronic health condition caught up with me. Totally I had to surrender to understand medical attention. While I was in and out of many places to live during my life. Because my life was full of try to start over Mathew. I just need a quick thinking response somehow. All I was doing was yearning a Love meaning Attention. Yet could not see what the future pattern would lead too. It only leads to a hospital admission here and there. I became a dependent medication person as many moments moved on later. Medication I had avoided most of my life. I now realize I had no choice but to sit down and settle somewhere to form a place of rest. So I did that at some part of my life. I finally got in contact with mental health Professionals’ to undergo clinical consultations in dealing with my life in a scirpitive sort of psychological way. For getting some valuable insight learning advice. Time heals all wounds. Most people today in the society we live in today. Need to take a gradual steady walking pace. Of simply try and take it easy, in the Now of moving on in a ready New Life beginning Gay Bi-Sexual way’.