Many have walked the path to reconciling their faith with their sexuality & gender identity. Hundreds of people – gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and intersex – have shared their journeys with us in our stories forum. Here is just a small sample.
- The First Battle – Coming Out to Ourselves
I told myself that I was directing my lust at guys in order to avoid the temptation of girls … as a good, Christian kid, I was not supposed to lust after girls … I would never admit to myself that I was gay … (I thought) I had to choose between being a Christian and being Gay … spent a couple of months searching out every argument … slowly my mind began to soften. … I thanked God that He had made me gay. I forgave Him for all the bitterness I had held against Him, and all the pain I held Him responsible for. … But I feel so free for having accepted myself. I’m so glad I pushed through the darker times to get to where I am now.
- For this High School student, Resolving the Internal Conflict is the Key
I had great parents and I was raised to be a good Christian boy in a good Christian school. … Started feeling I was gay in middle school. Went through the whole self-hatred and shame thing … Learned about how God loves gay people and began to re-evaluate my own beliefs … I thought I needed to change my orientation, but hey, at least God loved me. … The majority of the problems (I had) stemmed from the fact that I was gay and did not accept myself … The main conflict will always be internal. If your internal conflict is defeated and you have a good support system in place, you can handle whatever external conflict is thrown at you.
- For some, the journey is hard and on-going – especially when married with kids
I am a lesbian – married 15 years with 3 beautiful children. I adore my family and from the outside looking in we have ‘the perfect family’ … I got married at 21 … knew then that I was gay but chose not to believe it. “Confused” … describes me … I wrestle … A LOT. I know God loves me. I am glad to have found this site. My journey will be long, but is one definitely worth taking. Thank you for your support and thank you for this site … I’ve been stifled for so long. But now that I am TRULY able to share it … what freedom!!
- From a trans-sexual person – A plea for acceptance and understanding
We know most times from as far back as we can remember that we are in the wrong body and we don’t know why. Fighting back the female feelings puts extreme pressure on your mind; the older you get the stronger the pressure . Suicidal thoughts can become very strong. … I went to church as a teenager but I knew they would not accept me … churches can be cruel places some times … in the gay and lesbian community we are not accepted that well … as far as the world is concerned we belong in the gutter. … they don’t want to know or trust us. Yes sites like this can help to open up more people’s minds to the fact that we are all human.
- When her marriage broke up, God answered a prayer for a “true soul mate”.
During my entire Christian walk (18 years to date) I have constantly struggled with my sexuality. But kept on believing God for complete deliverance or resigned myself to the fact that this was my ‘cross to bear’ or the ‘thorn in my side’. Got married … 2 children … separated … I was faithful to my hubby my whole marriage. I used to cry praying “God I just want to have a soul mate, who loves me, and who I can freely love back, with all my heart and soul”. … my best friend of 14 years confessed how she had fallen in love with me. We have been together for … She is my true soul mate, I do feel so blessed!
- When his son came out as gay, this pastor had to rethink his theology.
I remember becoming convinced that the issue of homosexuality in the church was not as simple as many would like to believe and that it was not going to go away. It (the Bible) really did seem quite clear on the issue of what God thought of homosexuality. And yet….. And yet…..! When our son finally told us about his being gay … as we talked more about the whole issue, I tried to see the Biblical teaching from ‘their’ perspective. And not-really-so-slowly but surely, it made sense …