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20, gay christian, excommunicated by church & disowned by family.

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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
July 5, 2010, 17:30



Craig Hoyle
 
Joined in 2010
December 25, 2010, 07:13

Anthony kindly suggested I copy and paste my Christmas letter onto this thread, so here goes! I sent this out yesterday to my many friends and family 🙂


“So this is Christmas

And what have you done?

Another year over

And a new one just begun”


The New Year hasn’t quite begun, but it certainly seems to be a time for reflection. News sites are listing the top stories of 2010, lists are being produced of who the year’s top achievers were, and Time magazine has named Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg the person of the year. (Hooray for social networking? I’m not sure…) To paraphrase the lyrics of John Lennon’s “So this is Christmas”, what has happened over the last year? Here’s a quick recap for those of you I haven’t been in touch with recently.


I welcomed 2010 Indian-style, dancing round the celebratory bonfire at the Vinegar Hill campsite with several thousand other revellers. If nothing else, this camping experience led to a fresh appreciation for the minor perks of civilisation. (You know, being able to cook, wear clean clothes, and sleep in an actual bed…) Thanks to those with whom I travelled from Auckland.


Going to the Mardi gras in Sydney was a February highlight. I travelled with a friend on the pink flight; a special flight put on by Air New Zealand for gay travellers headed to the Mardi gras. While in Sydney I was invited to speak at a meeting of Freedom 2 Be, (a support group in Australia for gay people from Christian backgrounds), and my friend and I marched in the parade with the group. Our marching was filmed by a crew from the Channel Seven show Today Tonight, who were recording for a documentary on my experiences in the Exclusive Brethren. A few days later we confronted the brethren doctor who prescribed hormonal suppressants while I was in the sect and filmed outside the sect hall in Ermington. Most of you will be aware of the ensuing drama, and of the case which went to court in October.


While in Australia I took the opportunity to visit a number of friends and relatives, going on from Sydney to Brisbane, then south to Melbourne. I met a cousin in rural Victoria, and travelled on to Adelaide with her in her Groovy Gran’s motor-home. Another cousin joined us in Adelaide, and the three of us travelled together across the Nullabor to Perth. The Nullabor looks very much like what you expect a desert to look like – mile after mile of nothing much at all, with the occasion warning sign reminding you that camels could be crossing the road.


I was back in New Zealand to celebrate my 21st birthday in May, and would like to thank those of you who travelled from around the country to help me mark the occasion. A huge thanks to those who organised the food, the invites, and pretty much everything else that needed organising.


It was off to the UK at the beginning of June. I arrived in London in time for the Maidenhead Reunion, an annual reunion held for former members of the Exclusive Brethren. It was great to catch up with and meet a number of people, many of whom I’d only communicated with via the internet. You were all wonderful people, and I have many fond memories of my times with you.


Having caught up with many wonderful people in Britain, I continued onward to Europe at the end of July to meet a friend from New Zealand in Vienna. After a side-trip to Prague, we set out to explore Italy together for several weeks. Beginning in Venice, we continued on to Ravenna, Rome, and Pompeii. We paid a fascinating visit to the Vatican (where we saw the Pope) and I paid a quick visit to the Most Serene Republic of San Marino. We parted ways in Florence, and I continued on to the French Riviera to visit Nice and Monaco.


From there I trekked through Spain and Portugal, paid visits to Gibraltar and Morocco, then back-tracked toward Paris. I spent an amazing few days in the city of love, then took the TGV to visit the Benelux states of Belgium, Netherlands, and Luxembourg. After sampling the obligatory “coffee” in Amsterdam, it was onward to Berlin. (My memories of this leg of the trip are rather hazy I must confess.) Berlin was amazing, and I was sorry to leave after an all-too-short few days to head to Copenhagen. From there it was on to Oslo, Stockholm, Turku, and Helsinki. Prices in Scandinavia were among the most expensive I’ve ever encountered, and I was glad to move on to the Baltic States of Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania. I was expecting poverty-stricken former Soviet nations, so was pleasantly surprised to find the Baltic States very progressive and modern.


I was planning on stopping in Warsaw after Vilnius, but it looked like a rather awful place when I arrived at 5am so I continued straight on to the medieval city of Krakow in southern Poland. I paid a sobering visit to the site of the Auschwitz Concentration Camp, then carried onward to Bratislava. From Bratislava it was on to Budapest, then down to Belgrade. It was a long trek on a very slow train from Belgrade to Bucharest. I didn’t fancy Bucharest at all, so was glad to move on to Brasov in Transylvania. (Raawwwrrrr! Yes, I went to Dracula’s castle.) From Romania I carried on to Sofia, the capital of Bulgaria, and continued on to Athens from there.


Visiting the Acropolis was a personal watershed moment – I vividly remember being told while a teenager that the Brethren should NEVER visit such places! Standing at the base of the ancient temple was empowering, and I felt I’d reclaimed another part of my personal freedom. I took the ferry to Mykonos from Athens, and had the time of my life on the island. I stayed with Bobby and his wife at the bed and breakfast they own/manage – Bobby was telling me he came to the island for a weekend back in the seventies, and hasn’t left since!


I carried on to Albania from Greece, which was rather a culture shock. I was accustomed to being surrounded by hordes of other travellers, so walking the streets of Tirana felt a little eerie – Albania doesn’t get many visitors. I carried on to Macedonia from Tirana, then on to the former war-zone of Kosovo. Europe’s newest nation has settled into a period of relative peace at this point in time, but I saw an awful lot of destroyed buildings everywhere I looked. I continued on to Montenegro from Prishtina, and spent a few days in the coastal town of Budva. (The original plan was to stay in the capital, Podgorica, but I decided on the spur of the moment to carry on to the coast. Only problem was I made this decision at 2am in the morning. Suffice to say that’s one of the most expensive cab rides I’ve ever taken.)


From there I travelled on up the coast to Croatia, then onward to Sarajevo for a few days. After another few days in Ljubljana, it was rather a relief to arrive back in the comforts of western civilisation in Austria! I popped in to visit Liechtenstein before carrying on to visit a cousin in Geneva. Then it was on to Munich and Frankfurt where I ended my Europe adventures.


I flew from Frankfurt to Boston at the end of October, and have been in North America for the last couple of months. Thanks must go to all my friends and relatives who have thus far shown me amazing hospitality. I plan to be in Chicago for Christmas and the New Year, and will be carrying on to Seattle January 12th. I’ll be on the west coast for a week visiting family and friends, and have a flight back to Auckland booked out of Vancouver January 19th. I look forward to catching up with everyone back home.


Thanks again to everyone who has helped to make this year a memorable one. Whether you’re a friend, or whether you’re part of my insanely large network of family, whether I’ve known you for many years, or whether I only met you a few months ago, no matter where you live (and goodness knows, you certainly cover the globe!) I would like to say thank you for making 2010 one of the most amazing years of my life. I feel blessed to know you all, and look forward to catching up with many of you in the New Year. Here’s to 2011!


Much love,


Craig



Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
December 25, 2010, 10:37

Hi Craig


Wow! What a whirlwind adventure! My head’s spinning with all the places you travelled to….


I never went to Prague, nor Iceland and Estonia and they are 3 places I would like to see. I also found the acropolis an amazing experience. I love great architecture and we were lucky to have a guide who lived, breathed and dreamed architecture, history, culture, languages and many other things. It was moving being in the company of such a passionate and knowledgable person, standing at the foot of such awe inspiring buildings.


Well you certainly are living life to the full which is fantastic. Good for you! Thanks for sharing this with us too.


Blessings,


Ann Maree



davidt
 
Joined in 2009
December 25, 2010, 21:25

What an amazing year! I hope you enjoy a good Christmas and have a good flight home. All the very best in 2011.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
December 26, 2010, 00:12

Prague is in my bucket list Craig………what an amazing journey you have been on in the last 12 months.


as I said in my email to you………..who would have ever imagined what was on the other side of the walls of the exclusive brethren that you had lived so long in.


I know my life is very different to what I imagined it would be like living as an openly gay man.



IanJ
 
Joined in 2009
December 26, 2010, 07:50

An amazing year of freedom! And hope for the future. You are an amazing guy who will achieve great things. Go get it!



Mr Summit
Chapter Leader
Joined in 2010
December 27, 2010, 12:42

Your letter makes me dizzy.


What an awesome year you have had!



RaulG
 
Joined in 2010
December 27, 2010, 15:23

Querido Craig,


I have just read your story. I must confess that your experience saddens me: what strange disease of the soul twists one so horribly to abandon those that need them the most, shut themselves away from the ailing world and then claim that it is the will of God.


The same God who wept for the Children of Abraham when they turned from him to worship fleeting worldly power and the empty promises of materialistic, consumerist pursuits .


The same God who declared that those who claim to love him, must first love their neighbor.


The same God who stretched his arms out in an eternal sign of love and compassion, suffered and died for the sake of all souls.


I am sorry, but the actions of your former community sadden and anger me. Who are they to declare that you are unfit? Who are they to warp the Word so horribly? Who are they to declare that they act with the will of God, when it is so very obvious that they have done the exact opposite?


Your courage and strength in the face of such cruelty is admirable.


I am glad that you are taking the time to enjoy yourself and see the world! If you are ever in Panama, let me know!


Yours in Christ,


Raul



forestgrey
Chapter Leader
Joined in 2008
May 24, 2011, 19:24

Congratulations, Craig, on your new journalistic role. (http://gaynz.com/blog/que_sera/archives/3)


For Craig’s story, read this thread and also go to http://www.gaynz.com/articles/publish/36/article_8207.php



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
May 24, 2011, 20:30

congrats to you as well forestgrey….you cyberspace bunny you…… :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:


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