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21/male/Pentecostal

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Borntolove
 
Joined in 2009
September 23, 2009, 18:48

Hello everyone, my story is some what long, and has not gotten to its happy ending yet. I am the grate grandson of a Pentecostal preacher, Son of a Pentecostal Preacher, and brother of a Pentecostal Preacher. All of them are still alive and preach regularly. My family is tight nit and very religious. They all play there part in our church. Mother is the Piano player, I have already told you about my grandfather, father and one brother. My father is the sound man, oldest brother plays base, and I play the drums and also I am the Sunday school teacher. Needless to say I am not out yet, I am not sure when I will ever be able to come out. I know it has to happen sooner or later. I just don’t know when, the preach/teach so hard against homosexuality. I hear them make fun of my cousin all the time because they think she is a lesbian (I’m not sure if she is or not) and I don’t want to be the next on there list to make fun of.


I haven’t really had a real relationship yet. I would love to have one, but I just haven’t been able to. I have been in cover up relationships but I usly brake them off before to long because I don’t want to hurt anyone, my parents keep pushing me into relationships with girls they think that I would make a good couple with. I knew I was gay from a young age. I have always been interested in guys, but even though I have know I still struggle with it a lot.


I have been able to come out to a few friends before I moved from Oklahoma. I keep in contact with them and they help me out by just letting me talk. They are the best friends that anyone could ask for. I was even able to come out to one of my teachers when I was in high school. The sad part about that is when she tried helping me out and took me out of town to go to a meeting for homosexuals (a group that I was interested in) They found out that she took me out of town (They called a friend of mine trying to find me. I told them that I was going to hang out with some friends. They told my mom that I was with a teacher in another town) well my mom blew her lid and ended up getting the teacher fired.


So I haven’t had the best of luck yet. I was hoping to meet new people on here and just be myself.



iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
September 23, 2009, 21:25

Hey Borntolove, welcome to Freedom2b[e] … yep, this is the place where you can make new friends and just be yourself … that’s what we’re all about here … sharing our journeys and stories of faith, hope, love and reconciliation … great to have you with us.



gettingthere
 
Joined in 2008
September 23, 2009, 21:45

Hey borntolove. Awesome that you are here. As you know, we would love to support you in any way that we can. 🙂 [And I must say that I am actually kind of happy to see another non-Australian on the boards! I was a bit lonely, hehe.]


Just reading your story, I ache for you, because I know there is so much that you didn’t say, but that still happened. In short, you were/are closeted for many, many years. And that is a HUGE burden to carry emotionally. Add to that your family situation… trust me, I’m a minister’s kid too. I understand how that is. I’m sure your family loves you and I assume that you feel your family loves you too. Fear of rejection is huge and just looking at the facts honestly, it very likely will be something that you face should you come out. That’s why you definitely should not come out until you feel that it is the right time. Don’t for one second let yourself feel bad about the fact that you are not out to your family yet, especially in a situation such as yours. It will happen, but only when the appropriate time comes.


I don’t know what you are doing right now, but it sounds like you are somewhere separate from your family at the moment. I’d encourage you to get as much time as possible to clear your head. Also, make sure that you spend time with God. Being in a religious system that preaches hate for gay people can poison your own mind against yourself. Even if you know all the facts about homosexuality, damaged emotions can still hold you back. It’s important for you then to make sure that you give God plenty of opportunity to free you from that by spending time with Him and feeling for yourself how much he really loves you. 🙂


I know you can’t see it yet, but I have faith that one day all of this will work out for you. 🙂 Keep us updated!



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
September 24, 2009, 10:41

Hey borntolove…….love your username BTW.


its great to have you with us. Can I ask how you found us. We know this space will be a lifeline to so many people like yourself but how do we connect with them….how can they find out about our existence…..this is the challenge.


I’ve been posting links to stories and discussion on my facebook page….so that creates some awareness. I realise though that this is not possible for everyone on this site as they need to be closeted for the time being.


please feel free to ask any specific questions that you might have.


It is difficult when you are still living at home and the entire family is involved in church. Parents don’t realise the negative impact there comments have on thier children. Ask Hillsben.


Are there any gay christian groups in your area.


in the meantime……we are your safespace.



Borntolove
 
Joined in 2009
September 25, 2009, 13:28

Hey Borntolove, welcome to Freedom2b[e] … yep, this is the place where you can make new friends and just be yourself … that’s what we’re all about here … sharing our journeys and stories of faith, hope, love and reconciliation … great to have you with us.


Thank you



Borntolove
 
Joined in 2009
September 25, 2009, 13:45

Hey borntolove. Awesome that you are here. As you know, we would love to support you in any way that we can. 🙂 [And I must say that I am actually kind of happy to see another non-Australian on the boards! I was a bit lonely, hehe.]


Just reading your story, I ache for you, because I know there is so much that you didn’t say, but that still happened. In short, you were/are closeted for many, many years. And that is a HUGE burden to carry emotionally. Add to that your family situation… trust me, I’m a minister’s kid too. I understand how that is. I’m sure your family loves you and I assume that you feel your family loves you too. Fear of rejection is huge and just looking at the facts honestly, it very likely will be something that you face should you come out. That’s why you definitely should not come out until you feel that it is the right time. Don’t for one second let yourself feel bad about the fact that you are not out to your family yet, especially in a situation such as yours. It will happen, but only when the appropriate time comes.


I don’t know what you are doing right now, but it sounds like you are somewhere separate from your family at the moment. I’d encourage you to get as much time as possible to clear your head. Also, make sure that you spend time with God. Being in a religious system that preaches hate for gay people can poison your own mind against yourself. Even if you know all the facts about homosexuality, damaged emotions can still hold you back. It’s important for you then to make sure that you give God plenty of opportunity to free you from that by spending time with Him and feeling for yourself how much he really loves you. 🙂


I know you can’t see it yet, but I have faith that one day all of this will work out for you. 🙂 Keep us updated!


I am still here at home. I will get to leave next semester to go to college. (I did that las year but didnt have the money to do so this semester)There was a lot more that I would have liked to have said, but didn’t lol. There’s only so much that one hart can bleed out in one post.


It’s just so hard to keep this secret. Theres so many things I wish I could talk to them about. Then theres the fact that I have to be the perfect kid cause I am apart of the Preachers family. Its just so much placed on so much more. I feel like that at any moment I am going to burst.



Borntolove
 
Joined in 2009
September 25, 2009, 13:49

Hey borntolove…….love your username BTW.


its great to have you with us. Can I ask how you found us. We know this space will be a lifeline to so many people like yourself but how do we connect with them….how can they find out about our existence…..this is the challenge.


I’ve been posting links to stories and discussion on my facebook page….so that creates some awareness. I realise though that this is not possible for everyone on this site as they need to be closeted for the time being.


please feel free to ask any specific questions that you might have.


It is difficult when you are still living at home and the entire family is involved in church. Parents don’t realise the negative impact there comments have on thier children. Ask Hillsben.


Are there any gay christian groups in your area.


in the meantime……we are your safespace.


There aren’t any gay christian groups around here.


About About 8o miles away there is a group I believe I just joined the GCN forum as well. I have meet a few people on there that’s no to far away. Who knows I may even meet someone special lol.


I found this forum as well as GSN on Alex Sanchez webpage for one of his books. He has a whole list of sites on there.



gettingthere
 
Joined in 2008
September 25, 2009, 23:37


I am still here at home. I will get to leave next semester to go to college. (I did that las year but didnt have the money to do so this semester)There was a lot more that I would have liked to have said, but didn’t lol. There’s only so much that one hart can bleed out in one post.


It’s just so hard to keep this secret. Theres so many things I wish I could talk to them about. Then theres the fact that I have to be the perfect kid cause I am apart of the Preachers family. Its just so much placed on so much more. I feel like that at any moment I am going to burst.


That is a rough spot you are in, but trust me, you are not alone in this struggle. I was in practically the same spot when I came out and it was not easy. I don’t think people in our situation will ever have an easy time coming out. We don’t have that luxury. We are faced with a choice where both options are very difficult – living a fake life or coming out to unaccepting parents and yes, both of those choices are very hard. That’s why I feel for you so much… stay strong, man. 🙂 God is holding you here and now. Keep us in mind whenever you feel the need to vent, it can help clear your mind and hopefully relieve some stress.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
September 26, 2009, 00:16

one thing you can do borntolove is list the people in your world. Put them in three categories.

1. High Risk

2. Medium Risk

3. Low Risk.


Begin with the low risk people to come out to that way you’ll feel like you are making some progress.


It may be the high risk people might not know for some time….even years. Take it at your pace.


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