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"Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers."

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magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
May 11, 2009, 08:38

The more I think about “do not be yoked with unbelievers” (here she goes 🙄 😆 ) I find for one “unbelievers is a plural not a singular word, the verse is saying unbelievers not an unbeliever (how picky is that 😯 )


Then I think about yoked, it wasnt just two oxen yoked. it was sometimes four or more depending on the job, another word would be “team” or “teamed” like team of horses and such, so in that light I reason, ok the work of these beasts is to labour, so in that light if I stuck a goat with an ox or a horse or donkey with an ox, apart from looking weird and out of balance the job would be out of whack, since one pulls in one way the other another, very hard for them to work together to get the job done plus also in this light, Paul saying the believer and unbeliever in marriage or committed union being sanctified doesnt contradict what he is saying here.

So I agree that maybe it was about people who dont believe as we do but not as a partner but for the sake of the great commission, yoking myself to a moslim to spread the word or minister in Jesus name would be off kilter or with an atheist off kilter, there would not be any harmony in our ministry……..so I see the scripture possibly refering to ministry in any way since a work animals equipment was being used as an analogy instead of the scripture saying “dont be joined”, it was yoked, the thing given to two or more work animals to labor..


Does that make sense anyyyy sense 😯 😆 (just my thoughts anyhow and a show of why Id make a shocking lawyer to argue any case possibly 😳 )

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
May 11, 2009, 11:27

Do you think a relationship can work when one is “out” and happy to be out (not the proverbial screaming queen but if someone asks he will not deny) and the other – “not out” to even close family?


On the surface i would think it would not necessarily matter but thinking about it some more – when it comes to socialising and family events such as weddings, how would/could it work?

Is this splitting hairs?


this is a good point oooooo……and one I think impacts the relationship in a big way….i’m busy now but I’ll say more later

iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
May 11, 2009, 20:54

Hmmm … two gay people in a relationship (same sex of course 😆 ) … one is out and the other not … interesting 😉 … very interesting …


This would certainly have implications in social settings as mentioned previously, with the possibility of conflict within the relationship if the partner who is out is not fully respectful of the other partner’s wishes to remain in the closet. Obviously this raises all sorts of issues like trust and privacy. Also reminds me of the issue of setting boundaries (personal and couple) for how the relationship operates.

oooooo
 
Joined in 2006
May 11, 2009, 21:08

As I have thought about this myself, I would find it difficult to not be acknowledged truthfully to my partner’s family and close friends (if it was me as the “out” person and partner as the “not out” person). Work colleagues or people not close it does not matter. But people close to my partner – I would want to share them as his partner.


To me it would be as tho I was the cause that my partner lied continually to his family or whoever and added to that I would wonder if I was an embarrassment. This may seem silly but this is how I feel.


I lost alot of “friends” (only church people) when I came out but when I did it (came out) it was the most liberating feeling I have ever encountered in my life. I lost alot but I gained so much more.


And that is not to be a “shot” at anyone who is in a relationship where one is out and the other not or neither out. This is just how I see the situation for me, where I am in my life right now. Please – no offence to anyone.


)[/code:1]

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
May 11, 2009, 22:40

totally understand you Tez 😀 Its always about what works for you both and what one or the other wants in a r’ship 😉 everyones situation is different.

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
May 12, 2009, 08:48

To me it would be as tho I was the cause that my partner lied continually to his family or whoever and added to that I would wonder if I was an embarrassment. This may seem silly but this is how I feel.



It isnt silly at all, I guess it comes down to what we perceive to take on as being our responsibility and what is not. We arent responsible for someone elses choices or actions and such.


When a person doesnt reveal you as a partner, its usually not you at all, its them, they are the ones embarrassed of themselves, they are the ones who are still not fully accepting of their orientation and possibly afraid of the rejection, reactions etc the words we hear so often floating in their thoughts “im actually a poof, a dyke” ( personally I love being a lezo 😛 )and some ugly ones too….its just that now by having a partner it fully confirms it for them and telling others makes it a big reality.

I guess the hard part would be that you would be dragged through that which you may have just conquered coming out of and now your reliving it all over again, the hiding, the lying the feelings of being less of a person 🙁 .

Its definately not your fault they have chosen to hide and the consequences thereof, I guess depending on where you are on your own journey, maybe one just isnt ready to maybe walk someone through all that again, having the reminder so close to you.

We all have to do whats best for us and help where we can but be realistic about what we are ready for and what not in that, like I know I could never ever counsel someone through sexual abuse, I could support them and encouage them through the process but to hear it all again, it just opens some things that are too traumatic and Id get stuck all over again and having been catholic and through the “shame and guilt trip” aspect of that……farrrrrrr outtttttttt LOL Id look worse than a mixed omelette 😯 8) (just my 2cents… gees my loose change is running out)

oooooo
 
Joined in 2006
May 12, 2009, 13:44

yeh i am hearing what you are saying mags


i know it is their walk. i guess, if i were in the situation of having a partner not “out” to family i would need to make allowances for them in that arena of their life. I would just see it as so difficult when around their family and friends who do not know. It would be like walking on egg shells.


I decided to come out, knowing i would lose friends. In my case i lost 2 part time jobs as well (2 christian schools). I had a feeling this would happen but I decided i just did not want to live in the “shadows” anymore, as i had done. I know that that was my decision and no one forced it upon me. I wayed up the expected losses etc and decided to take the plunge. I know I or anyone else can not make others make the same decision.


But I do not know how people in the relationship being discussed do it quite frankly, keeping a healthy loving relationship when secrets need to be maintained. If those that are in such relationships can do it I take my hat off to you. Just do not know how you do it.


Again no attack intended.

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
May 12, 2009, 17:05

For goodness sake man, lets have a good old fashioned arguement 😆 j/k havent had anything spicy on f2b for ageeesssss….Thank God 😉


It isnt easy, I will agree there, we have the worry that gran will walk in on us or her brother, so yes eggshells for sure 🙁 weve been through worse in our life so I guess its minor in comparison, if only it were only when we had family gatherings from her side 😡

Im so looking forward to whats to come and it is so worth the wait 😀 and we do have loads of fun in the meantime and at least shes not alone in dealing with an interesting gran to say the least 😆 but again, its up to people what they want, we are still in pretty early days of acceptance and re-education, so its gonna happen.


I think you were very gutsy in taking the steps that you did, bloody hard but Im sure it made you stronger and you stood for who you are, shows a lot of integrity and strength.

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
May 12, 2009, 18:26

first of all I should say that I respect everyone’s right to disclose or not disclose their sexual orientation…….really.


on my list of what I want in a partner is that he must be out…..I want to go out with them…..events……family outings….the whole thing. i want the person I love to be with me….I want him to be proud of me as I would be of him.


I live openly……I couldn’t go into the closet with them. This freedom cost me everything so I wont exchange that for anyone. I would not live with secrecy and the stress of trying to cover your tracks all the time. I have nothing to be ashamed of.


I’d rather be rejected for who I am than accepted for who I’m not.


BTW…….can you imagine anyone being in a relationship with me and NOT out!…..


😆 😆 😆

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
May 12, 2009, 18:44

BTW…….can you imagine anyone being in a relationship with me and NOT out!…..


Lordy no 😆
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