Anthony, how do you find the courage to attend Hills CLC? I am literally terrified to set foot inside any mainstream church lest they ‘find out’ about me, which they would eventually, because I don’t make a secret of who I am.
How do you do it? *sigh*
You’ve asked a good question Mazdragon which made me think quite a bit about this. There are actually a number of reasons why I attend Hillsong.
I remember the first time I returned to church after several years absence. I have to admit it wasn’t easy. I was feeling very nervous. As you might remember from my autobiography, that even though I got some weird comments (Frank was still the pastor then) it was a very empowering experience. I walked out of there knowing I had genuinely resolved all conflict with my faith and sexuality and nothing anyone could say or do to me ever again would shake that confidence.
There were actually several attempts to return to church which were not consistent. I actually felt that my experience with God had become so rich out of the church I didn’t really see any need to attend.
Then came the book. (which I really feel God told me to write)
I guess that was the turning point. I had naively thought that once I told my story that then I could just get on with my life and I’d done my job. As you know….that produced and avalanche of emails from readers. Most of the stories they told me broke my heart. Some were very tragic and sad. All reflected the terrible ignorance that existed in churches about sexual orientation. This prompted me to do try and make contact with the national executive of the Assemblies of God.
These emails from readers stirred me so much I knew in all good conscience that I could not sit back and allow the unnecessary suffering I and many others had and were going through to continue. It was then that I felt a sense of mission. I HAVE to do something to change this.
How do I do this I thought?
I felt that I would have more impact by having conversations with people inside the city walls as an ambassador of my community than to be an activist outside the city walls shouting for attention. Inside the city walls people can really see me for what I am as well. That is a gay man of faith and integrity. My life speaks louder than my words and certainly backs up anything I say. No-one can accuse me of being immoral or a trouble maker. I have gained credibility and respect…….even though not everyone sees things as I see them.
Getting close to gay and lesbian people is the major thing that will break down the preconceived ideas and misconceptions. Whilst gay churches are a place of sanctuary and healing for many gay Christians the impact they can have on the larger church is limited. I do respect that this is God’s calling for some.
I knew someone had to be the first to stand up…...like Rosa Parks did on that bus in 1955…..and was the catalyst for the civil rights movement. So I dared to name myself Australia’s first openly gay Pentecostal knowing that by standing up it would give others courage to do the same. I’ve been contacted by many in Hillsong and other Pentecostal churches who are gay and lesbian but still afraid to be honest with those around them. This of course only reinforces the current situation.
Then Hillsben came out of the woodwork http://www.freedom2b.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3564 and I helped him go through the process of coming out at church with his friends and family. He is the first fruits. Now he is Australia’s second openly gay Pentecostal and even though there are still people who don’t understand he has had lots of support. He is now helping other young people go through what he went through.
In the past we all left or were thrown out of our churches……but not any more.
To be honest with you. I think that many have bought into the media hype that Hillsong is anti-gay. I haven’t found that. In fact Brian has and would never speak negatively about gay and lesbian people from the pulpit. Its not his style or spirit.
Preconceived ideas and misconceptions exist on both sides of the debate.
http://gayambassador2.blogspot.com/
Creating an intelligent, informed respect dialogue is my goal. Even the Assemblies of God Bible College students come and interview me every year and present my interview to their class. Each year there are more and more future leaders who have come to a more compassionate and informed understanding of homosexuality.
Most of what I do I can’t make public…..as to make it public will polarise people and the dialogue will be high jacked by the right wing extremists who don’t even deserve to have their names mentioned. I won’t allow them to take this precious conversation I’m having with others and make it their issue.
What I can tell you is that the work has begun and the momentum is at such a level that it is now only a matter of time. Believe me there is no turning back now.
So I guess that answers your question…..or maybe it raises more.
I hate conflict of any kind and that is probably what keeps me from going to any church unless I am–relatively–sure they will not abuse me or clobber me with those certain Bible passages.
If you really knew me you would also know that I’m just like you. My nature is to be non-confrontational. If I get angry I shut down the dialogue. I won’t waste my time talking with most people who only want to argue. I leave them in their ignorance……..BUT…….there are a huge number who are in the questioning stage…..it’s a delight to talk with them and assist them along their journey to greater understanding of the love and grace of God and that their beliefs about sexual orientation were never based on fact.
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