Forums

Dave - 46 yr old Bisexual

  Page: 1
 
 

GoldenLab1963
 
Joined in 2010
April 5, 2010, 21:04

I am the eldest son of a Pentecostal Layman ( I choose the term Layman, because I can never keep up with what my Father is ). Both my parents & my younger brother & sister are all born again Christians,I was too & I had a gift, that gave me the ability to see a person’s aura.

!975 – 1979

I was in high school & was bullied every day & all my parents told me to do was to do the Christian thing & turn the other cheek.

1980 – 1994

I was raped at the age of 16 by a guy that I thought was a friend, the year was 1980. Even though I was raped, nothing was ever done about it. I was advised by my parents to move on, turn the other cheek. I don’t hate the guy who raped me back then, because all he did was awaken me. In yrs to come we became friends of sorts.


I struggled with myself, my upbringing & all these emotions that were boiling out of me. Over the next few yrs I had sexual relationships with both men & women, I wasn’t straight & I wasn’t gay.

The biggest problem was the fact that my ” Christian ” upbringing condemned the Bi side of me. I struggled to maintain a ” normal ” life on the outside but was becoming volatile on the inside. I wasn’t unstable or anything but I had a rage building up inside of me.


Early in 1983 I was assaulted by 3 guys because they reckoned I was gay. They started calling me names, like poofter, faggot, etc & I laughed at them & walked away. It was then that they attacked me. I tried to turn the other cheek & it didn’t work & I lost my temper. It was the first & last time I ever lost my temper. I wasn’t just mad, I was in a rage. I had a focal point for all the rage building up inside of me. I hit the first guy once with my left fist right between the eyes. I hit the 2nd guy once right over his heart & I gave the 3rd guy a vicious head butt. Fortunately for me there was about 50 witnesses to the whole thing so I wasn’t charged with assault. I learnt a lot that day & it was then that I started to control my emotions & channel my temper into something constructive.


I met the new AOG Minister that was in Laurieton back in the 80’s ( not sure what yr ). Now this minister was different, well to me he was, but I couldn’t quite place it. His name was Anthony Venn-Brown. This guy seem to be connected to God, had a beautiful wife & a couple of daughters. The impact of meeting Anthony Venn-Brown wouldn’t actually hit me until around 2005. I thought to myself this guy has it together, so I tried to walk the right way & be ” normal “. Even though to everyone else I was a normal hot blooded male I continued to live 2 lives until 1994.


1994 – 2000

I actually went straight for the 6yrs I was married to my 1st wife. sure I used to fantasize about being with guys, but I took my vows seriously & was the hard working husband with a daughter & a son. On Mother’s Day 2000 I was playing with my kids & spun suddenly & tore 3 discs in my back. My wife supported me until October 2000 then had an affair with another guy. The marriage was over at that point & I was free to be me again.

On my 40th birthday I started writing a book about Intimacy. In it I covered everything, for male / female, female / female & male / male sexual relationships.


2001 – 2006

I continued to live 2 lives during this period & the day I started to question myself was the day I saw an article about Anthony Venn-Brown while I waited in a doctor’s surgery. I read about Anthony coming out & declaring that he was gay. I wasn’t shocked, but what his ” message ” in what I read stayed with me until late 2009.


2006 – 2008

I tried the straight thing again. I dated the Deputy Mayor’s daughter & after a few months we decided to get engaged, than after 12 months we got married. It was a marriage made in hell. It lasted just over 7 months. Since the I’ve been single.


2010

On the 1st day of this year I wrote on my Face Book page that 2010 was the yr of change for me.


No longer was I going to sit back in the shadows & hide my other life. Don’t get my wrong, I’m not going to stand on the street corner waving a placard that says I am bisexual, but I am out. I am now actively involved with the local branch of GLBT Coastal Lynx. I am openly sharing my views about the whole GLBT Communtiy with people that are straight. One thing I’ve noticed lately is that people are starting to come out & say they are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgendered.

I have always been a people magnet, it’s my personality & now I am slowly re-educating ” straight ” people about people from the GLBT Community.


Meeting Anthony Venn-Brown back in the 80’s & then reading the article about him coming out yrs later finally impacted on me on new years eve back in December last yr.



Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
April 5, 2010, 21:33

Welcome GoldenLab1963!


You’ve managed to contain a big story very concisely. What a journey you’ve had!


It’s so great that you are having such a positive impact in your local community. That must give you a good feeling.


Keep up the great work and thanks for sharing.


Blessings,


Ann Maree



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 5, 2010, 22:07

its been quite a journey for all of us goldenlab……OMG….all those years ago we knew each other when we didn’t really know ourselves.



IanJ
 
Joined in 2009
April 5, 2010, 23:12

Thanks for posting your story GoldenLab!


It’s a struggle to come to terms with our sexuality- and there are many of us who have been through similar experiences. I hope you find a lot of support and ecouragement here. A good bunch of people and a lot of collective wisdom.

Ian



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
April 5, 2010, 23:44

good you have also connected with the local LGBT group…..I had some contact with several over the years.


  Page: 1
 
WP Forum Server by ForumPress | LucidCrew
Version: 99.9; Page loaded in: 0.038 seconds.