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Dear Moms and Dads, | A Letter to Christian Parents of glbt

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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
May 22, 2011, 14:24

Dear Kathy, I just came across your letter and followed the link to your blog. Thank you so much for writing such an honest and insightful letter. I have just forwarded it to my mom. I came out to her just over three years ago and she ‘came out’ to one of her friends just a couple of months ago. We were at a family wedding when I was asked by one of the guests if I have a partner (my mom was next to me). My first instinct was ‘hmm, my mom is right behind me, I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable knowing how she hasn’t told anyone about me’ but i thought I have this unique opportunity to show her how to respond to such questions. So I responded with ‘yes I do, my partner Lesley is in Sydney right now working on HER PhD.’ The woman (who was about my mom’s age) responded with such openness and acceptance and shared that her nice is also with a woman and they have now moved to the UK (it turns out I actually know her nice, small world that it is!). In front of my mom (to recognise where she’s at with this), I told this woman that my mom still feels uncomfortable about it having come from a strong Christian background. She immediately embraced my mom and said ‘let it go and be happy for your daughter’…and continued to talk to my for the rest of the evening. My mom’s comment made me realise how else I can help her in her own journey. My mom said ‘yes it’s been hard especially when I have no one else to talk to who understands’. That’s when I realised how difficult it must have been for my mom not to have her own community of support. I had mine, I knew where to look. For a Christian mom, it’s a bigger struggle to find that community.


One week later she told me she came out to her friend. I’d like to think that my coming to that stranger helped her with her own process. That I am not embarrassed with who I am and that it’s easy enough to drop it in a conversation.


Her friend reacted positively to it. Her friend said ‘oh yes I saw Dr Phil’s show and he said….’….and that started their discussion…


This is definitely just the beginning of my mom’s journey but coming across your letter reminded me again that I need to keep forwarding her articles and put her in touch with people who can also help her in her journey.


Thanks Kathy, people like you are so important to this ongoing discussion. Thank you for taking the time to write this letter.


With much respect,

Hannah


thanks hannah……talking about your situation with your Mum is a reminder to us all again……that it is not only us who can go on a journey of many years to find resolution, acceptance and a sense of pride instead of shame……those close to us may also have the exact same journey……especially parents.


Would this article also be helpful to your mum. http://www.freedom2b.org/topic/1531



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May 22, 2011, 14:24

🙂



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
May 22, 2011, 14:28

Hi Hannah,


The comment your mum made can be so true, my son,” Mr Summit”, had an idea of how we might feel when he told us he was gay and directed us to the web site of PFLAG. It was helpful to know our feelings were normal and other parents felt the same. I believe they do offer a service for parents to talk to if needed. This was also one of the reasons why I posted my story on this forum, to let other parents know they were not alone and that their feelings are normal and ok. For many parents they can’t turn to the support of the people they would normally turn for counsel so yes can often feel alone. 


This section of the forum is also a good place to direct your mum to where she can read others parents stories.


All the best. 🙂


so true Mother Hen. When I originally set up this section on the forum I felt it would be a vital lifeline for parents and also knowing that the battles ahead of us will be won by our heterosexual friends and family supporting, talking and standing up for us. It has been disappointing to see this section relatively static for many years.


I am thrilled to see it coming alive and doing what it was created for.


thanks everyone for your contributions.


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