Forums

Half out of the closet...

Page:   1 2 3
 
 

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 13, 2011, 15:18

tough decision. I remember when my wife and i were advised by a doctor to terminate a pregnancy and all the emotional stuff we went through over that.


Hope you are able to receive some counselling to help you through it as well and a close friend who will be there for you.


thinking of you.

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
June 14, 2011, 00:30

Hi seejaneburn


I’m sorry to hear things have been so tough for you. You’re in a supportive space here though.


You seem to be amazingly resilient in spite of the challenges you’re facing. What helps you through?


Blessings,


Ann Maree

Mother Hen
 
Joined in 2011
June 14, 2011, 11:18

Hi Seejaneburn,


My heart goes out to you it’s such a difficult decision for you, I believe you are making the choice you are for the right reason, it’s amazing you are able to think of other’s at a time like this. I know it’s easy for me to say, try to let go of the guilt, it’s not helpful to any one concerned. It’s easy to look back and think if only I had done this or that. I always say we make the best decision and choices we can with the information and circumstances we are in at the time. You deserve to be free from any pain or guilt and be happy. Draw on all the resource you have, don’t be afraid to ask for help, keep being strong, and true to yourself and I know you will come through all this.


God Bless

grebo5454
 
Joined in 2010
June 15, 2011, 22:05

🙂 Hi Seejaneburn


I am also a very supportive mother of a gay son who lives in Sydney and have posted my stories on the forum too and would encourage you to read them if you haven’t already.


The decision to terminate your pregnancy is a very tough one and you, and only you, can make that decision. I fully support you and encourage you to do what you feel you need to do and not to feel guilty at all.


I am speaking from experience. You see, almost 20 years ago I too had to make the decision to terminate my second baby. It was the hardest thing my husband and I have ever had to do and I will never forget that time in our lives. We were thrilled to be pregnant for the second time but for reasons that I will not go into here, we had no choice.


Anyway, please know that I am here to support you and if you would like to chat to me in a private message, please do not hesitate to contact me. I am always here if you just need to talk to someone.


You are in my prayers my dear. Freedom2b(e) is such a supportive group of people and I love them all very much.


Just know that you are not alone.


Bless You

Helen xxx

Michelle
President
Joined in 2008
June 16, 2011, 17:35

Hi seejaneburn,

Welcome and thankyou so much for sharing your story with us. I too got married young and was with my ex for 15 years. He also has mental health issues so I have some understanding of how difficult that can be! :~

Take heart that you have come into a safe and supportive community with Freedom2be. It takes courage to share your story and we will assist in anyway we can to help you on your journey.

Liz
 
Joined in 2011
June 24, 2011, 21:41

Thank you all again for your wonderful uplifting messages! I really appreciate you taking the time to respond, and reading everyone else’s stories on here has been amazing.

I’ve had a busy few weeks, my business has picked up and I’ve been flat out working. I also went to the appointment to have a termination, and was told after the ultrasound that I was 4-5 weeks more pregnant than originally thought. This changed how I felt about the termination: i felt much more reluctant to go through with it knowing how developed things were. So after a lot of consideration I have decided not to terminate, but to go through with this and have the baby. I feel that children are given to us, and I know how much I enjoy the children I already have. I did want to have another child before I was 30, and I’m 30 next year 🙂 A lot of the reasons I originally decided to terminate were to do with my worries about having a child with my ex, and this still really, really worries me. Since I left him more has come out about his character and issues and I really don’t want him involved. I am most likely not going to tell him I am pregnant, and involve him later when, and if, he stabilizes. He is still trying to ‘punish’ me for leaving him, and until he moves on and finds other interests I cannot trust him to be around me or my children. Right now he doesn’t know where I live, but he’s been trying to find out, and this really worries me too. I have started to tell people about the pregnancy, and am going to break the news to my family this weekend. I still feel very conflicted and stressed about my ex, I’m not sure I’ve made the right decision and it will no doubt mean some very painful times once he does find out. In some cases though, I feel I have to accept uncertainty and have faith in the Divine that he/she knows what they are doing. I feel at least that I have made the most right choice in this situation: it’s really one of those grey areas. :~



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 26, 2011, 16:10

this is a lot to be working through seejaneburn……thinking of you

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
June 26, 2011, 23:24

Hi seejaneburn


It sounds like a very complicated situation but one you’re moving through with courage. Whatever you do, stay safe.


Blessings,


Ann Maree

Liz
 
Joined in 2011
July 11, 2011, 21:15

A quick update…I had the ultrasound today and discovered I’m having another boy. So, trying to focus on the baby as a reason to celebrate, I have told most of my family and they are all very excited (babies are always popular with my family.) I’ve also had a few quite discouraging conversations with my parents: they have been raising the gay issue with me themselves; I think they are afraid I will ‘turn gay’ because some of my wonderful friends are. The apartment I rent is owned by a wonderful lesbian couple who have been incredibly supportive and loving towards me and the kids, and while mum and dad are very happy I have support, they seem worried by the loveliness of these two and their friends towards me. My dad expressed the opinion that he feels gay people have been given a hard time by the church, and need the love and acceptance of Christians. He also talked about how being gay ‘isn’t natural’ and no-one would choose to be gay, and that gay people are ‘very wounded’ and he feels deeply sad for them. In a separate conversation, my mum pretty much echoed these beliefs…she has had gay friends in the past, in her pre-Christian life, but I don’t think either of them have had any gay or lesbian friends, at least in my memory. I get the vibe they are worried my relationship difficulties plus the niceness of these wonderful people towards me will lead me into the wrong paths. I know it will never be an easy conversation to have with them, but right now it just seems impossible. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell anyone in my family, and if I do, I know it won’t be taken seriously, as they’ll put it off as being the result of disillusionment with men, and not actually part of who I am. They also keep shoving ‘ex-gay’ stories down my throat….

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
July 12, 2011, 11:05

Hi seejaneburn


With regards to the baby, I’m so glad you have the support of your landladies and family. When it comes to being gay, your parents sound compassionate and concerned which is good. And as your father rightly says, no one would choose to be gay given the rejection many experience from the church and others. Your parents might have flawed ideas perhaps about homosexuality, thinking it comes from woundedness. However, at least they sound loving, which is more than some Christians.


Can you introduce them to loving and supportive parents of gay Christian people? There’s some brilliant mothers at this site and there’s also the PFLAG organisation. If they like reading, there’s some good articles in our resources section about the bible and homosexuality.


Blessings,


Ann Maree
Page:   1 2 3
 
WP Forum Server by ForumPress | LucidCrew
Version: 99.9; Page loaded in: 0.065 seconds.