faaaaaaaaaabulous……waht a difference connection makes……first the connection on the forum and now the connection face to face.

I guess the connection on the forum made the connection face to face much easer,.

you certainly seemed quite relaxed when you walked in on friday night……… 🙂

BTW…..I think you mean Geoff Bullock dont you?

Hi Mr Summit

This is really excellent. You express yourself so well. 🙂

I only picked up on a few tiny typos (highlighted below in bold) and a couple of small points.

In the 4th paragraph where you say “They have proven to be really good friends.” Could you say how these people have been of support and something about your friends’ attitudes and behaviours? This will give a clear example of kindness and love in action for your parents to follow. You might also want to mention that your parents have been good Christian examples to you [if they have] and highlight a couple of each of their attributes and how these have positively impacted you in your walk. You might put this in the first paragraph or even in the 4th. The examples of both your parents and friends will help guide them toward finding a loving response. In other words, it will give them a clear reference point while appealing to their better sides. Apart from that, it’s also nice to be encouraging, expanding on the direction you’re taking anyway.

In the 5th paragraph: and you fantastic parents. I’m thinking there should be an ‘are’ in front of parents?

In the 7th paragraph you say: “I have to say that I was surprised how strong the biblical arguments for affirming same-sex relationships were”. I’m not aware that there are affirming verses as such, more that there are lots of passages that have been grossly misinterpreted and altered. The film, ‘For the bible tells me so’ helps highlight that, as do a couple of articles in our resource section. I’m not trying to be negative and please correct me if you like. Rather, I’m just trying to prevent the potential for arguments from overstating your case and then having difficulty proving that.

In the 8th paragraph, you write: “God loves me, and no one else’s opinion is important after that.” Would you consider perhaps qualifying that by adding that you hope your parents can one day come to terms with your sexuality because you’re still the same person you were and remaining close to them means a lot to you? I mention that because I know how much you value your parents’ relationship with you and it might be good for them to hear that. At the same time, you’re not pressuring them into accepting your sexuality immediately, which is great. You’re allowing them time while asking for what you need. And that’s realistic and gives them something to aim for. I very much like how you later say that it took you many years to come to terms with being gay so it might require a similar period of adjustment for them. The good news is that your writing this letter and providing resources will no doubt quicken their process, or at least maximise the chances of same because of the supportive, clear communication that you’re providing . 🙂

Love the 9th paragraph. It’s clear, helpful and well written feedback without being condemning or harsh. I’d say it’s perfect. 🙂 And spelling out the positive aspects of your parents elsewhere in the letter will help them deal with this and the news in general. 🙂

In the 10th paragraph, there’s a small typo here: ” As a gay Christian and have so many opportunities to kindly present God’s love in a way few can.

and in the following sentence: “I would not have chosen to be gay, but now I would not give it up. I love my life and I can’t keep thus great part of my secret any longer.

The above recommendations are just small things though. Overall it’s fantastic, Mr Summit. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Blessings,

Ann Maree

yep…..you done good buddy……real good.

I wonder how many other young people are reading this and it is helping them to think about how they might come out to their christian parents. Its a great example.

I think Ann Marees suggestions are great.

I have a couple of small suggestions.

You said: I need to tell you that has taken me a very long time to accept about myself and I think it will take you a while as well. But it is now something that I love about myself.

I suggest: I need to tell you that has taken me a very long time to accept about myself and I think that possibly it might take you some time to process as well. Over quite a number of years I have moved from hating something about me to learning to love who I am..

I think that when you say “now something I love about myself” could cause a unnecessary horror if you parents are as you say repulsed about homosexuality.

the other little suggestion I’d make is the way you finish off. I call it giving people back their power. In other words making a plea for them to respond appropriately…..appealing to their highest christian values…..unconditional love etc. No “I love you but”…..lettling them know that they have the space to process it if they need to as you have taken time to process.

Does that make sense.

Thanks for all the feedback everyone! It’s really helpful. 🙂

I kind of wrote it on paper in a cafe and then bashed it out on the keyboard when I got home. Thus all the typos.

he other little suggestion I’d make is the way you finish off. I call it giving people back their power. In other words making a plea for them to respond appropriately…..appealing to their highest christian values…..unconditional love etc. No “I love you but”…..lettling them know that they have the space to process it if they need to as you have taken time to process.

I didn’t really understand this. Could you give an example of what you mean?

What did you mean when you said the following in the first paragraph?

This needs to be said because sometimes I forget how lucky I am and also because other people try to make be behave otherwise.

It’s a reference to what a lot of the ex-gay material say about the causes of homosexuality. At times I believed it and became bitter towards my parents only to later realize they had done nothing wrong and forgive them for stuff they didn’t do. The paragraph is a bit messy and I think I will clean it up.

Hi Mr Summit

Ann Maree wrote:What did you mean when you said the following in the first paragraph?

This needs to be said because sometimes I forget how lucky I am and also because other people try to make be behave otherwise.

Mr Summit wrote: It’s a reference to what a lot of the ex-gay material say about the causes of homosexuality. At times I believed it and became bitter towards my parents only to later realize they had done nothing wrong and forgive them for stuff they didn’t do. The paragraph is a bit messy and I think I will clean it up.

Oh ok..that makes it clearer. Perhaps put what you’ve written here in the letter too. It might good for them to know that the American Medical Association, American Psychiatric Assoc and other organisations have banned the practice of conversion ‘therapy’, a form of ex gay work, having found it’s damaging and ineffective.

If I can guess at what avb means with his comment here:

the other little suggestion I’d make is the way you finish off. I call it giving people back their power. In other words making a plea for them to respond appropriately…..appealing to their highest christian values…..unconditional love etc. No “I love you but”…..lettling them know that they have the space to process it if they need to as you have taken time to process.

I think he means that you could finish off by saying something like: ‘that no matter what your response is I will always love you. I will also understand if you need time and space on your own to absorb this news. This is a challenging situation and yet I trust in both of you to respond with love and compassion as Jesus would. And please know that I am here and happy to answer any questions you might have.”

Hopefully that gives you an idea. You’ll be able to word it better than I have in a way that fits with your parents’ personalities.

Have you read Ben’s letter? That’s an excellent example that I can’t seem to find right now. You might be interested in reading it. And if so, perhaps send Ben a PM and request a copy.

Blessings,

Ann Maree