How"out" at work should I be?

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Joined in 2007
December 14, 2008, 10:43

Ah I have to laugh at myself sometimes πŸ˜† πŸ˜† Can you say overreaction? πŸ˜† πŸ™„ Sorry! Time to get off my soapbox obviously. Never mind me.

Joined in 2007
December 14, 2008, 11:58

Oh, don’t worry. I am the queen of overreaction. πŸ˜†

It’s all good.

Joined in 2006
December 14, 2008, 12:05

Ohhhhhhhhh noooooooooo not two of you 😯 😯 πŸ˜‰

Magzdragon and Sandragon πŸ˜† πŸ˜† oh oh!!!!!! 😯 OUCH!!! πŸ™ 8)

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
December 14, 2008, 13:55

personally……I go to great lengths to ensure there is never any misunderstanding about my sexuality.

To give you an example
. If a taxi driver makes some comment about a pretty girl by the side of the road and suggests that I might like to have sex with her. I correct him…..and say no. been there done that……Im actually gay.

For me it has to do with the fact of living authentically. I lived a pretend life for so long that I don’t want to live with falseness anymore. Not for a single moment.

there was a time we had to keep our secret. If they found out who were then we’d either be locked up or treated. One of the major factors that has chanced societies understanding is that people have come out. In our acts of honesty we have helped people to realise how normal we are and broken down the stereotypes.

Amanda Bearse said “the most important political step that any gay man or lesbin can take is to come out of the closet. It’s been proven that it is easier to hate us and fear us if you can’t see us”

I feel that my acts of openess, honesty and authenticity are my contribution to a better world now and for future generations. Living authentically is probably the most powerful form of activism.

Remember too that we now live in a society where it is illegal to discriminate or villify gays and lesbians in the workplace. If someone does of says something inappropriate…..then it should be reported. By doing this we are saying to everyone….that kind of behaviour is unacceptable.

……and yes…..heterosexuality is flaunted 365 days a year. Weddings, engagement parties, anniversaries, baby showers, a couple holding hands walking down the street of kissing each other in public. And can you believe that people accuse us of flaunting it one day a year at Mardi Gras or Pride……come on…..get real.

End of dummy spit πŸ˜†

Joined in 2007
December 14, 2008, 15:51

I have a lovely friend in Brisbane who is a Catholic Bishop and a member of clergy in the Reformed Catholic Church who was actually surprised, last Christmas, when we went to his home for Christmas Day Services and lunch when we pointed out how easy it was for him and his wife to walk hand in hand in the street, and how many things Sandra and I need to consider before we do so.

He said that the consideration had honestly never crossed his mind.

That’s coming from the pastor of an affirming church, so it’s an interesting commentary on how heterosexuals just never do consider it.

Anthony, I am slowly moving towards a place where I say openly that I am lesbian and will correct people when they mention my ‘hubby,’ saying I have a female partner.

It has not been easy, and sometimes I do still feel uncomfortable with it, but rest assured once the Social Security Laws change and we’re expected to take a financial hit for being in a same-sex partnership, we will become much more vocal. (If we don’t do so before)

Joined in 2007
December 14, 2008, 21:45

Hey, I’m back after being so quiet for a sometime… my partner’s grandmother passed away so been very quiet and being selfish for a little while. Gran passed away in September rather rapidly with bowel cancer. I took time out except for facebooking.. sigh πŸ™

I found this topic interesting. πŸ˜€

I remember a quote that talks just about this.

“The more people come out, the less it will be an issue. If we are ashamed of ourselves, how the hell can we expect the rest of the world not to be ashamed of us?” – Martina Navratrova

“We must be the change we wish to see in the world” Audre Lorde

“Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children” – Sam Austin, composer and lyricist

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself” – Harvey Fierstein

America senator Tammy Baldwin said ‘β€˜If you want to live in a world where you can put a photo of your partner on your desk at work, put a photo of your partner on your desk and you will in such a world. If you want to live in a world where can hold your boyfriend’s hand while walking down the street, then walk hand-in-hand with them down the street and you will in such a world.’

I’m so out at my work, I think everyone knows beyond a shade of doubt that I am so Gay and I aint going anywhere. Smiling.

I remember a while ago a group of us were trying to support our colleague who was upset because her ex-boyfriend sent flowers and nice things to get back with her meanwhile she kinda moved on with her life with this absolutely lovely guy. Understandably she was confused… one old social worker said to her to get rid of the ex-boyfriend – he’s trouble… the psychologist was talking about resolving issues… a female behaviour clinician said… why can’t you have both and I interjected “no Susan, only Gay people can do that” which brought the house down πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† as a joke you know… so yeah everyone knows I’m gay as gay as I can be … I hear them say… oh you have a girlfriend and I just affirm yes and “he” loves me so much – leaving no room for anything else. Next… I need a really cute photo of my partner and put it on my desk… I notice everyone else is doing it… sigh… how romantic.



Joined in 2007
December 14, 2008, 22:06

Welcome back, Craig! Great to hear from you again. It’s okay that you took a little ‘me’ time.

I loved your post, you made some really good points!

Joined in 2006
December 15, 2008, 08:04

CRAIGGGGGGGGG πŸ˜€ Im sorry to hear about Grandma and glad you had time out.

I think for many guys its sometimes more obvious than for women that one is homosexual, so their is no question to ask if you are or arent. I hardly ever get asked if I have a partner but if I do I always say I have a g/f but if Im not asked I dont go around and just go ” Hi Im a lesbian and btw my name is Maggie”.

I am definately authentic as a lesbian but just as any member of my family doesnt broadcast they have a b/f or g/f until we meet them neither do I and if I feel it could bring danger on myself being out (certain westy venues as we know) I keep it toned right down, Im in a wheelchair and cant run away obviously if I have to get away or just jump in the car for a quick car park exit.

At the present I cant be out completely where my g/f is concerned since her Grandma doesnt know and cant know, since if she found out it would be extremely detrimental to her and I can assure you it is not paranoia speaking, these are instances where wisdom I feel is needed but once the situation changes we are both out to her family, so far only her brother knows.

So every situation is different and I just feel its up to us where and when and to whom its going to be ok to be open to.

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
December 15, 2008, 09:48

Some of us couldn’t hide it in a million years….. πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

Although having a wife and children…..constantly monitoring my voice, hand gestures and what I wore, certainly alleviated many doubts people had about my sexuality. I no longer worry about that these days of course. this is who I am. If you have a problem with that its your problem not mine.

Possibly those who are not so obviously gay or lesbian will have the greatest influence in changing societies attitudes.

BTW……welcome back Craig….you have been missed. I think we all understand the need for time out…..just so long as we know you are okay.

Joined in 2007
December 15, 2008, 12:34

Speaking of overreacting I have a funny story, one in which my big mouth gets me in trouble so you’ll all love it πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

I actually came out to some people in my college class because I was explaining that I had been asked to lecture on queer theory for the sociology department. One guy looks at me and goes “huh… I’d never have picked you as gay” which of course I read way too much into and started ranting about how stupid men think that pretty girls can’t be gay… or if they are its only in FHM. Then I diverged into a rant about how not all lesbians wear mens clothes and are twenty pounds overweight. Guys are so stupid to think lesbianism is some kind of fallback if you cant get a guy. And a whole bunch of other stuff along the same lines. This guy looks at me and says “well no actually… uh I didn’t think you were gay because I thought you were dating one of the guys from the uni accounting department, I saw you having dinner with him the other night” πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

The day I learn to keep my mouth closed the whole world will stand in awe πŸ˜‰ πŸ™„

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