Is there a difference between who you are and what you do?

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Joined in 2007
November 21, 2007, 18:54

Here is a question that I have been mulling over for a while, I’d really like your input.

Is there a difference between who you are and what you do? I have always felt that an individual is able to accept that two people are in a homosexual relationship without approving of that behaviour… Is our world so glaringly postmodern that who we are and our behaviour and truth claims are all the same thing?

Personally it helps me not go insane to think of a homosexual preferance as something I have not something I am.

Joined in 2006
November 21, 2007, 20:16

Personally, I see my orientation as a preferance I am born with, same as me being right handed is, I can write with both hands if I have to but I am partial to my right and my left is legible but forget it.

Who I am as a person is defined by my personality, who I am as a person, my orientation is just a part of that, like my certain moods or nature is a part of me for eg outgoing and adventurous, these two things are a part of me but dont define me, people know me as Mags, “shes nice” or “shes wacky lol ” not as Mags “the lesbian”. Very few people and mostly homophobes define me as “mags the lesbian” or someone trying to be derogatory or ill informed.

I am a Christian but who I am as a Christian doesnt define me as a person, so same diff. I reckon. I could be a Christian and be a real ass or be a nice rounded one, so again I reckon who I am as a person or personality defines who I am. (does this make any sense shock or are my biorythmns out again roll )

Joined in 2007
November 21, 2007, 20:56

LOL, umm am I reading that wrong or did you just suggest that you’re a nice rounded ass? 😆 Maybe its just me.

Good point, so does that mean that you can accept a homosexual realationsgip without approving of it?

Joined in 2006
November 21, 2007, 22:12

lol You would have to ask Trish that roll wink lol Must be hormone time wink lol

Then again at a certain time in a mth I can be quite the well rounded ass, yes lol (run for your life…pms has arrived)

Yes, my sister doesnt agree to it but accepts it, if that makes sense but with her its a case of not understanding it because she is so straight. Some of my family as a whole dont approve but understand that I am happy and still Maggie so accept it, for anyone they dont know, they dont approve but they look at the person not what they do in private, they dont understand how it can be but would never shun a gay or lez person because they are just that.

Joined in 2007
November 21, 2007, 23:07

I have a few Christian friends who don’t approve of my relationship, but do love me and accept me and my partner all the same. They even came to our commitment ceremony which was awesome of them to do!

I don’t define myself by my sexuality, because that is only one small part of who I am.

I think that it would be nice if people could just learn to accept us as whole persons instead of a sexuality first, and then a person. I mean, you don’t see people going around saying “My friend Bertha, she’s a heterosexual, said…”

Why do they need to do it when referring to their homosexual friends?

So I would say yes, who you are is different to what you do.


November 23, 2007, 19:17

I would say that what you do is a result of who you are.

Joined in 2007
November 23, 2007, 19:20

Hmm that may be true to an extent but then I have been known to do some pretty silly things and I hope that those mistakes are not a reflection of who I am.

From a Christian viewpoint I think that we are all God’s creation and that is who we are, ineffective of anything we may do.

Joined in 2006
November 23, 2007, 21:54

Yes that we are, Gods creation, unique with our own personalities and qualities. wink

Joined in 2007
November 24, 2007, 15:09

Very deep question Sandy!

I see myself ultimately as God’s child. Made perfectly in His image (though not so perfect now) … made to be in relationship with Him. I am also a product of what I think, feel, believe and experience. I am evolving and changing … I don’t think people are ‘stagnant’. I am not everything I do and say. I can act out of character for some reason but it doesn’t mean ‘that’s who I am’.

As Christians we desire to become more like God … to be changed … to be more gracious, kind, gentle … more godly. And the good thing is, God already sees us as perfect because we trust in Jesus. Our identity is in Him! Thankfully!

So, as I see it, we will stuff up and screw things up but that is just part of human nature in general… it doesn’t change us at our core. It may make us feel more guilty, more inadequate but we have to trust that God’s view of us is unchanging if we hold onto Jesus.

Just my thoughts for what they’re worth.


Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
November 24, 2007, 17:25

trust you Sandy to ask to a thought provoking and profound question 😆 😆 😆

there probably is not another person on this forum who has contributed to creating discussion more than you.

the question is almost philosophical ……I’ll have to think about it.

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