Live to love/Love to live

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Joined in 2012
June 29, 2012, 14:48

I already introduced myself in the following thread called 'New to f2b'–t1948.0/. However I was also pointed towards this forum so here I go… 🙂

I grew up with a very Catholic upbringing. I was at Church every Sunday, attended youth groups and went to Catholic schools.

My dad is an atheist, so I did get some exposure to opinions and beliefs outside of the Catholic view, but mostly Catholicism was my life.

When I was little I never stuck to the 'gender norms' and loved playing sports with my dad and dressing in my brother's clothes.

When I was about 11, we were on a trip to Europe and more specifically in England meeting family.. and came across a friend of my cousin who I instantly felt attracted to. Scarily this person was also a female. My world fell apart in an instant… but I pulled it together and squashed this into my subconscience and convinced myself that I only liked boys.

I went to an all girls Catholic high school and so my social life outside of school consisted of mingling with people from the boys school. I was never promiscuous, but I was also never without a boyfriend.

In my senior years of high school I went through a number of depressive stages because I couldn't work out why I was never physically attracted to any of the boys. I always turned to the Church (without telling them what was actually going on) and my youth group was an amazing support for me. In 2008 I went to world youth day in Sydney, and this is the point where I lost all of my faith in the Catholic Church. I couldn't believe the amount of money spent on ridiculous things which could have been far better spent on supporting vulnerable people.

By the time I reached uni, life became really difficult and I went through the darkest stage of my life. I still turned to Church and youth group but it felt more out of duty than want.

When I was 18 I met the most amazing woman. She made me smile and see the good in life again. She became my best friend and we did everything together. Eventually I realised the feelings I had for her were more than those had in friendship and found out that she felt the same way. We moved in together and have been happily in love since :).

I came out to my parents when I was about 19. My dad was really supportive, and my mum really tried to be but I could see that she wasn't comfortable with it. Coming out to my friends was really scary, and I did lose quite a few of them because of it. My youth group stopped inviting me to events and I left because of this. I had an ex-boyfriend tell me that my love for another woman was a sin and that God could save me from my lifestyle. From that moment on I completely distanced myself from the Church and kept my relationship with God a private one that no one else could interfere with.

Two years later, and I still haven't been able to step into a Catholic Church, but my faith in God is strong and won't ever end. I find that I get really affected by the negative comments from the Catholic and other churches in the media, but I am lucky to have my beautiful girlfriend by my side to get me through :).

I'm searching for a new denomination and this is really making me feel quite positive. Over the years I have found it quite difficult to find a supportive community who not only understands the stigma and discrimination that I experience as a person who does not identify as 'straight' but who also understands my faith in God. Up until now, it has always been one or the other, so I'm so glad I found this site :).

Mother Hen
Joined in 2011
June 29, 2012, 19:11

Hi Ash,

You have certainly come to the right place. There are many that can understand being Gay and the love of God that you have. As you read the stories you will find many have similarities to yours but are also very different in there own way.

It's great that you had wonderful support from your father and that you mother even though she may as comfortable with it, she is still trying to be supportive for you. Times are a changing, the churches view is slowly changing, so you mother's views may also change over time. It's amazing what the love of a child can do 🙂

God Bless

Joined in 2011
June 29, 2012, 22:18

Hi Ash,

Thanks so much for sharing some of your story here at f2be.

I can well attest to the relief that I felt upon reading the stories of others on the site and coming to the realisation that there can indeed be a congruence between Christian faith and being gay.

I can also relate to the hurt that comes from having friends from church not accepting or rejecting you on the basis of your sexuality – so damaging. You will see from reading the stories of others here that some have found places where they can worship or attend church and be out and accepted. Others have not been so fortunate. You will find a list of affirming churches on this site – I am not sure what city you are in. I came from a fairly conservative evangelical protestant background but have "jumped ship' to a progressive uniting church – where I know it is safe to just be who I am.

You have demonstrated a lot of courage from the info you have already shared in your story – well done you.

Nice to hear from you and I wish you well.


Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
June 30, 2012, 19:07

Hi again Ash

You have done really well and strike me as someone with a good conscience who is in touch with what's most important to you, able to make your own observations and choose what's right according to your values. There's a lot of integrity, maturity and strength in that. 🙂

I think you said you were in Perth in your other post titled 'New to f2b'? As Sarab said, do check out the affirming church list here. I see from that list (scroll down to see the heading 'Welcoming Churches') that there aren't any listings for Perth however. Those of us from Perth might be able to suggest some options. (I'm from Melbourne so am not sure what's available in Perth).. Another option is to contact some of the organisations also listed in the link above and see if they can suggest some welcoming churches in Perth. The Uniting church might have some ideas. Let us know how you go.

You've found a supportive place at f2b and we are here to support whatever path you choose, whether that involves church or something else.


Ann Maree

Joined in 2012
July 3, 2012, 18:53

Hey guys 🙂

I had a meeting with a reverend from the Uniting Church yesterday.

It was a very positive meeting and he suggested a couple of congregations that are very welcoming… so I will check them out.

I think the biggest struggle will be not having the option to have Communion every time I attend Church. Don't know if its the same everywhere, but the Uniting Church here don't celebrate it every week and don't hold as significant of importance on it.

All in good time I guess 🙂

Joined in 2009
July 4, 2012, 00:09

Ah, yes, the massive differences in traditions within Christianity can be jarring.

My old church (Seventh-Day Adventist) did communion once a month, I think. I left before I was baptised there so I never really took part, but that's just what I grew up seeing as the norm. I've never been to a church that does it every week!

Glad to hear your meeting went well and gave you some good leads. If you do find a church that you find is welcoming/affirming, do let us know so we can have it on record for others. Though it might be some time before you are sure that it's right, of course!

Joined in 2012
July 4, 2012, 11:39

From what I understand Star St Uniting Church in Carlisle is a good one. There is a lesbian reverend there.

There's also St Andrew's Church (Anglican) in Subiaco… I've heard of a few LGB people really enjoying it there.

I haven't been to either but will check them out and let you know what they're like 🙂

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
July 4, 2012, 18:29

Excellent progress already, Ash. I look forward to hearing of your experiences at those churches. And if you think they're good, we can list them as Chris suggested:)


Ann Maree

Joined in 2012
July 5, 2012, 03:43

Hey Ash

You definitely came to the right place. There's a lot of support in here and although I only came out less than a day ago to my parents, I completely understand the deep depression aspect of what you are going through because I had that for about 8 years myself (and coming to terms with my sexuality the following 2 years and accepting myself), battling with my inner most thoughts every single day.

Remember only YOU can tell how you really feel – don't let others tell you otherwise!

Graham Douglas-Meyer
Joined in 2009
July 20, 2012, 00:19


I'm really sorry for not getting in contact sooner. However, I can see by the discussion that has gone on in this thread that you have begun to establish some wonderful support.

More importantly, you've found a place where you can feel comfortable to fellowship.

Bev Fab, a retired Uniting minister and myself are establishing a chapter of freedom2 b in Perth later this year. In fact we have a date for our first meeting on October 5 at the Northbridge Piazza. I hope you can come to our inaugural meeting and join us.

I have a Catholic background myself. I grew up Catholic; left and went to a Protestant bible college. I returned to the Catholics to become a Priest but eventually established a ministry as an anointed evangelist in the Catholic church in 1990.

Lots of things have happened since, and they're all outlined in the book of my story that is almost finished.


If you would like direct contact with myself, or Bev, please get in contact with the f2b Contact list.

Keep safe and blessed


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