Notes on Internal Homophobia (from friday 4th july f2b)

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Joined in 2008
July 24, 2008, 19:09

Hello Forum,

Finally I have come across enough of a post to break enough of my wall down to at least say hello! This post says it all though and needs to be shown much love, and prayer as I’ll cut a long story, very short. I have always been with Christ and believe in all of the Word. Since as far back as I remember. Mum and Dad were lead by the Spirit to Seed a church on the Gold Coast in the 80s so Christ was in the Family. I also thought much about male genitalia and men, more than women. This I think is a blessing as Temptation with women and resisting ‘what is normal’ would be more difficult than my struggle. And it is a struggle, we create what we think, and what we think is formed by others around us. To survive each day now, I feel I must be alone, as words from others kill, mame and destroy. This Quote wraps up where my 33 years of life has arrived to.

Studies suggest that people often try to ESCAPE their internal homophobia rather than deal with it… and it is suggested that these escape behaviours/attempts can lead to a range of negative implications such as:

– hypersexual behaviour (ie HIV risk)

– anonymous sexual behaviours (ie HIV risk)

– avoidance of relationships

– avoidance of intimacy

– and substance abuse

As Jesus said, on the water to Peter, with Faith you can walk on water, without it all you do is become in the water.

One day, my time will come, and I can share victory news eliminating HIV. Until then it is just one healthy day after another, standing and walking with Christ in God’s Promises. HisInterVention comes so we and others take note, random, widespread, swinger style SEX is bad and destroys lives, families and civilizations. God’s Will is to give us exactly what we want. Be careful what you attract. Be not afraid though, Christ goes along all the way, where ever the sheep strays, listen out for the Shepard’s voice who will guide us home. HisInevitableVictory is coming! That’s why I’m still here, loving the other creatures of this planet. The Kingdom, like a tree with branches also too has twigs and leaves and buds of new flowers.

Cheers everyone for a peaceful forum.

In Love and Peace,


Joined in 2007
July 24, 2008, 20:02

Hi! I’m so glad you felt compelled to say hello, we all love to see a new face. Thanks for sharing a little bit about yourself. If you have been a lurker previously you probably already know about the “your story” stection and the rest of them so I wont repeat it into redundancy.

Keep up the posts if you feel comfortable enough, the more voices the merrier. πŸ˜€

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
July 25, 2008, 00:07

Hello there freedom4life

thanks for sharing your story. as Sandy said….we love to see new people say hi at least.

i’m not sure if you are aware or not but there are a number of groups who are high risk concerning HIV.

1. Closeted people – because they often don’t have access to safe sex education and may have sexual addictions or obsessions.

2. Married men who are gay or bi – for the same reason as above.

3. Guys from Christian backgrounds who have left the church – this is because they often feel like God has abandoned them or they have abandoned God and are going to go to hell anyway so they engage in high risk behaviours. They are often angry.

i was in all three categories.

I’ve had heaps of emails from guys who are in the third category. that is one of the reasons I set up F2B. We have a number of HIV+ guys in F2B.

If anyone is reading this who is in any of the three high risk groups please make sure you educate yourself and if you are going to play….play safe.

it would also help to be aware of other STI’s.

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
July 25, 2008, 00:13

you may want to read yowee’s story freedom4life

and did you check out our poll.

Joined in 2006
July 25, 2008, 07:38

Hello Christian and welcome πŸ˜€ Looking forward to hear more from you. blessings.

Joined in 2007
August 4, 2008, 11:43

I thought I would post this because I am a total nerd and find it facinating and I live in hope that others will too. However, a disclaimer first, my examples are not taken from real life experience nor are they a reflection of the way I view gay men or their actual behaviours. It’s just an example to illustrate an idea that would be abstract otherwise. If I come up with a better example I will edit the post.

I was reading about phobias today and as we know they are extreem fear responces. However, they are usually in responce to stimuli of biological importance (hights, snakes, spiders; score one for Darwin) because it makes sense to be afraid of these kinds of things and fear responces to them are more easily conditioned that fear towards other things such as modern appliances, very rarely do people have phobic responces to cars or toasters. They can be conditioned after only one incident too and are extreemly difficult to exhtinguish.

So, in terms of homophobia (in its traditional sense without the more contemporary overtones) if the above is true then its very rare indeed. While I guess an argument could be made that homosexuality is biologically important in the sense that it disenables reproduction I think, generally, thats a pretty dodgey claim. When the term ‘biological’ is used in terms of phobias its coined in an instinctual sense, a fight or flight responce… I would argue that fear of homosexual does not exist on that same, gene orientated, instictual level.

But if, for example, a group of men verbally assulted a young woman for flirting with a gay man in their group (or a lover or whatever) then that women may develop an extreem, instinctual fear responce to all gay men: a phobia. Most esepically if her life was threatened: Biologically important. Does that make sense?

This is why the term homophobic when used to explain prejudice in church members is so wrong. It simply isn’t the most accurate term to convey the meaning. To be homophobic a person has to have at least one, negative, biologically significant, interaction with a gay person… reading the bible simply doesn’t produce this and because of the reluctance of gay people in the church to come out many chruch members have never even met a ‘gay person’ to their knowledge.

I get why the term has been adopted, its snappy and negativly connotated but we wouldn’t call sexist people femalephobic or racist people racephobic, it just doesn’t make sense. Racism and sexism are prejudices as is ‘homophobia’ in its colloquial sense. Call it homoism if prejudice is too general. Please, please, please if anyone ever writes a book, a journal article or even an essay for school try not to use homophobic and if you absolutly have to put in a disclaimer that reciognises your definition of the word in comparison to the psychological defintion. I marked a first year sociology paper six weeks ago on social interactions and homosexuals and I was very tempted to fail her because her entire maxim was put into question because she didn’t clarify her defintion (I didn’t fail her though because its first year and just because I’m anal about this kind of stuff doesn’t mean other markers are) if it had been a psychology paper though she would have failed no question so keep it in mind!!

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
August 5, 2008, 00:53

I’ve never felt comfortable with the term…..i thought it was more homogynism than homophobia

Joined in 2006
August 5, 2008, 07:53

You have a point Sandy…. I guess the fear amongst people as a whole who hate homosexuals is, “will they try and flirt or have sex with me? making the thought of that quite fearful and disgusting to them………(apart from the fact that some of them are usually closet gays and such or sadly have had abuse issues from gays/lesbians,transexuals..)

I have had someone tell me that they were afraid I would touch them up if they got too close or was given the one armed hug at church even if I was crying just in case I tried something or took it the wrong way πŸ™„ , even one church was afraid a friend of mine would molest their children if she did kids ministry on her own 😑 , so indeed the homophobia is very real and present but also I guess a new term could be used for those who are just plain ol’ prejudiced , ” Homosexist,Homosexism” (my new word for the mth πŸ˜‰ )

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