Ok, I'm thinking about some closet space...

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Joined in 2007
July 6, 2008, 10:35

Yes you are in good company on this site when it comes to bad church experiences. My favourite is when you tell a woman in church you are lesbain and they get this “Oh no are they attracted to me?” panic look on their faces as if you are just going to throw them down and ravish them 😆 😆 😆

Joined in 2006
July 6, 2008, 10:49

😆 😆 Crikey, if we were that way Duracel would be out of business 😉 😳

Joined in 2006
July 6, 2008, 11:31

Hey Link,

I know how you feel and also ‘crave’ that worshiping in the spirit.

I had an experience a month ago where I just decided to go to this major womens Christian conference interstate. I expected to just slide into the back row and kinda hope no one noticed me with that ‘obviously gay’ look haha funny thing happened and a heap of women came up and introduced themselves and made me feel really welcome – infact a small group of girls even invited me to dinner and to come sit with them during the services, which i did! – in retrospect I have no idea what posessed me to go and put myself in a position where i felt i wouldnt be welcomed but i guess God wanted me there and showed me my pre-concieved ideas had no substance at all.

Let us know how it goes.

Joined in 2007
July 6, 2008, 16:34

Took me a couple of seconds to get that one Maggie. 😆 😆

In my experience most churches have an unoffical ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. While many people may suspect you are gay, generally people dont come right out and say it. Maybe the rules are a little different over here in the USA.

It’s never really been a problem for me. I don’t have the ‘obviously gay’ look. I’m reminded of that line in Imagine me and you where Luce’s friend goes “but shes is not just heterosexual… she is barbie hetrosexual!” about Rachel who is at the very least bisexual. Usually if I tell people I am gay they go “are you sure?” or simply “no you’re not!”

Wishing you the best of luck, keep us posted on how it goes.

Joined in 2007
July 6, 2008, 23:55

yeah Link… its good to see you taking the step towards supporting your need for making connection with God with other people in the church. I really don’t think your orientation should be an issue.

Hi Craig — thanks for all your good words 🙂

Unfortunately, it could easily be a big issue in many of the “conservative” churches around here, I think in large part because of the flame-fanning and gasoline-throwing so many of those with theological political agendas here have been doing for so long (and continuing to benefit from, financially/etc)

People who have had only a little hate have been given an excuse to have a lot of hate. People who had a little fear have been given a reason to fear us worse than the devil himself. There are a number of horror stories I’ve heard from friends and such about being treated very badly and made to leave, etc.

The church I’m thinking about trying to worship in is a very poor, Spirit-led church that does a lot of outreach to the real world and that’s used to “oddball” people visiting at times. I’m guessing (and being told by the closeted lesbian who attends there) that I *might* make it, just for worship. If I do so, it will only be because they are seeing me as an “oddball” that God is perhaps testing them with, or going to be “cleaning up” later.

But no way would I ever try this in one of the larger or more “mainstream” pentecostal, charismatic, etc churches here, and I don’t know anyone else here who’s “obvious” who would, either. Not unless we wanted to risk an argument, or being publicly emotionally confronted, or indirectly attacked (e.g., the sermon suddenly changes to a a screaming hour-long rant on homosexuality), etc. In these cases, one is seen not as the unwanted sinner that wandered in, but as an agent of the devil, there to destroy the congregation and disturb their children.

In which case, one’s visit suddenly has nothing to do with worshiping God!

What’s REALLY sad in all this, is that even if I am able to worship there, there is no way to connect with the church community. I have other friends here who do “pass” and go to straight churches, and they’ve talked about how it’s not just lonely sitting outside the church, not allowed in (which is what me and my “obvious” friends complain about). My “passing” friends say it’s also lonely to be allowed in as long as you stay hidden. And they’ve actually told me not to even bother trying to worship in this little church next weekend — that it will just be the same pain, in a different place in one’s heart.

We’ll see what happens 🙂

😳 Opps what I really meant to say was that you should not allow your sexuality be an issue because it is not an issue. I’m sure the others have worst sin that will shock the living socks of people and it’s justifed in God’s name 😯 When one finger is pointed at you… the others are pointing back at themselves… Jesus talks about hypocrites… looking for a small spec in someones eye while theirs is a log. ie their sins are bigger than yours.

You are a person who God accepted as one of his own 🙂 . The craving for worshiping and just being in the spirit with others… it’s ought to be the birthrights for everyone who is a Christian 😕 . But obvisously we have some unsavory ones who makes things a lttle harder 😳 . Oh man, you got it bad! Will be thinking of you and praying for you – if that’s ok with you? Just say the word – when two or more pray in Jesus name. God ain’t ignoring that huh!

Something else I gotta confess…. the devil works from within inside the church, not outside. My general observation that there are alot more people doing good works outside of the church than there are inside the church. It looks like it us that goes in and fix it. Giggles.

We all do need a break sometimes… and we are also rightful heirs to God’s kingdom. I’m thinking about what happened to Matthew Shepherd… the situation you have in USA is difficult when compared to Australia. Sigh… things are mad over there… from what I see and hear and read… gosh… I just admire your courage and determination to give it a go.

Thinking of you on Sunday 13th. Is there a joke about the 13th number… I got this wooo hooo music in my head…. see I’m Deaf (profoundly deaf) and for some reason I’ve observed that people don’t like the 13th number? What is that and why is that? Hmmmmm. Anyway have fun with that number and have a great day at church.


Joined in 2007
July 7, 2008, 10:05


There is some superstitious nonsense surrounding Friday the 13th with the assumption that it is just gnerally a bad day and things will go wrong. The most recent friday the 13th we had was in June, combined with a full moon in Australia… I was excepting wearwolfs but surprisingly they never showed. 😆

Joined in 2007
July 7, 2008, 13:20

😀 thanks Sandy for that oh wow that explains why my clients never want to have meeting on friday 13th oh I often wondered the significance thought it was related to some religious activities or practice … thanks for enlightening me.

If werewolves look anything like the sexy Michael J Fox from Teenwolf yeah I wanna meet them too! giggle


Joined in 2007
July 7, 2008, 13:41

Hmm, yours truly just broke the ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ rule.

It’s a DUMB rule though, in a church of all places one would hope that honesty, openness and above all integrity would be valued. But no, I basically had the minister telling me we could all have gone along happily if I kept my mouth shut.

Which is to say, HE and the other members of the parish who disapprove of homosexuality could have gone along happily. I would have just stewed slowly in my own juices.

It’s hard to know how I’m going to approach this in my next church. I mean, it seems odd to me to contemplate walking in the door trumpeting my gayness like it’s the most important thing about me. But the alternative is to risk finding a church that I think I fit into and might belong to long-term, and THEN discovering homophobia down the track, with all the pain and dislocation that would cause.

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