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One night in San Francisco

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Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
June 9, 2008, 16:01

😆 😆 Sorry about that!


Focus on the effort involved though, I mean I wrote notes, come on!! 😆 😆

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 10, 2008, 22:10

i think you must be the most avid student of “A Life of Unlearning”….in the entire world……..thank you 😀

Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
June 11, 2008, 10:48

The ironic part is, you are still a complete enigma to me. I never did get those “answers” I was looking for. Sometimes, sadly, persistance is futile.


Not that you are not special, you are. But so I don’t come across as a stalker who is obsessed with you… I have five filing cabnets full of notes about different books, about 2 thirds is work related and a great majority of the rest is homosexuality/Christianity related so feel free to sleep easy at night, you’re in good company 😀

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 11, 2008, 23:11

i think I’m probably an enigma to many people sandy…both in and out of the church.


Maybe I don’t give you the answers because no one gave them to me…..I found them myself…..and believed. 😮 ……with a childlike faith ….simply trusted that if I was wrong……God was big enough and powerful enough to show me the right way……just in case i got it wrong…….God knows my heart.


The answers I got gave me peace……isn’t there something about that somewhere about the peace that passes all understanding……letting peace be the referee of your heart 🙄

Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
June 12, 2008, 20:39

I had written a long, involved, passionate reply and then realised that I was sounding like a broken record and saying nothing that would further discussion in a new dirrection and basically reiterating old arguments. Been there, done that.


As is our modius operandi we shall just have to let this one go, I’d make some lame joke to keep it light but the sad thing about wit is it doesn’t perform on command. 😆


I think I like you as an enigma anyway, you’ll never be boring.


Hey its off the topic I know, and maybe I just need to scrape my mind out of the gutter, but is the title of this thread seemingly full of innuendo? 😆

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 13, 2008, 00:37

Hey its off the topic I know, and maybe I just need to scrape my mind out of the gutter, but is the title of this thread seemingly full of innuendo? 😆


Possibly 😉 😆 😈

Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
June 13, 2008, 11:29

*shakes head* ah sometimes I ask questions I wish I didn’t know the answer too 😆 Okay, definatly leaving that one alone. Though since the thread started as an ad for a Christian pioneers conference… the sexual allusion is probably a far fetched assumption on my part. 😉 😆


Relegating this one to the pile of the never to be known.

Craig_Maynard
 
Joined in 2007
June 15, 2008, 23:06

Hey, this is real cute 🙂 …. this is what being family is all about… it about not having a “ah ha” moment and those who had an “ah ha” moment lift those without the “ah ha”.


I know I am totally blessed knowing and corresponding with real life people who are also struggling at different levels, challenged, resting, jumping about.. and having mini “ah ha’s” and sharing them with each other.


My life now is never going to be the life I had say pre-Freedom2b. I felt mad at myself at times, frightened that I’m who I should be, worried about what others think, what will happen if the “church” finds out. Will they still love me for who I am… or will I be shunned. The underlying fear of it all… that this was God cruel joke on me – that I arrive there and its nothing there. Now… I’m kind of like in a twilight zone… where at times I don’t feel like praying or talking with God – Im having my talk to the hand God because I ain’t listening… then when a crisis happen, I seek God and yeah God helps me so many times and then I distance myself again… its so blood stupid – oh what is it with me? I’m such a lunatic.


I’m happy that I can reconcile the Christian aspect and my gay aspect… for some reason they are not completey married… I go to church and I can’t say that I’m Gay. I go out with my gay friends and I can’t say that I’m a Christian – but you want to know what’s so funny. People work me out… they know I love God… I must have that special glow… and there are Christians who know that I am Gay and it doesn’t bother them… sigh. What is it? Oh if only a bus would just run over me 😳 … I wouldn’t be feeling this up and down emotions, crazy thinking, lying in bed awake thinking and knowing that when I wake up… I continue to live.


I’m not whingeing 😯 , I just want all these crazy moments to stop running around and just get along fine. I want to just be me for a change and not constantly changing my role as Craig the gay man and Craig the Christian man… and Craig that and this… I just want to marry all aspect and attribute that is really me and just be it.


Sigh 🙄 … aaaaaarrrrrrhhhhhhh! ❗ sigh 🙄 …. arrrrrgggghhhhhhh! ❗ ❗ ❗


Can someone tell me why do I do this to myself – read a book that I can’t put down and yet I’m having all these mini hopes that are building into a bigger picture that is not solid yet. hmmmm


Hugs to all – I’m going to bed! 😕 😕

magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
June 24, 2008, 09:03

Can someone tell me why do I do this to myself – read a book that I can’t put down and yet I’m having all these mini hopes that are building into a bigger picture that is not solid yet. hmmmm


Its all part of the annoying word “process”, our journeys are an unfolding process that we need soooooo much patience with at the best of times 😉 Go easy on yourself and have some marshallows in hot chocolate along the way 8) 😉

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 24, 2008, 12:48

my your are busy on the forum today Maggie. Nice to see you back.
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