The problems are with quantifying all of this.
When I started working – having grown up in a church environment that was in hindsight extremely sheltered and quite unrealistic – I was quite shocked to see married people having affairs. Colleagues having one night stands.
and whilst I sorta expected single men to go out looking for out for women for one night stands – I was astounded that some of my female friends went out looking for guys for one night stands of mindless sex (their words)
In fact – when Ive worked overseas (and was younger) – Ive been used as a pull factor by my straight colleagues as apparently my accent was sexy (and they didnt always tell me what they were doing either)
And certainly now the now grown children of a number of my friends now do the whole friends with benefits thing – or the casual thing – and talk about it more too.
The thing is – the Heterosexual world doesnt tend to dwell on it. doesnt tend to talk about it so much (certainly not on print etc) – Maybe you just tell your best buddy you scored last night but thats it…. Because of HIV and because our sexuality is a defining thing – and because we have had to fignt for our rights – we have used it as a weapon in that fight – and so we have tended to talk about it a lot more.
Ive been with my partner 13 years – and I was standing in a queue for our photo to be taken at fair day – and I saw a number of couples whilst we were in that queue that made our relationship seem short lived.
(Have a look at this – Pics taken by Durex – the number is the number of years the couple have been in a relationship – and theres only a few of the pics they collected here
So there are many long term committed Same sex couples out there. Far more than most people realise. In part I think because frequently couples drop off the scene. At best they often just socialise with other couples. If you see me at a "Gay event" like Mardi Gras etc – its probably because Im volunteering – not because Im partying (Now – Polly's is a different matter)
So do we commoditise sex more. Its one of the major issues that drove feminism I believe (not that Im an expert on feminism) is exactly the treatment of heterosexual sex by males as one of commoditisation.
So the question is – – practically is there a real difference in this area in behaviour ? or is it just in visibility and expectations ?