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Reconnecting with a damaged spirituality

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Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
October 12, 2008, 21:21

Personally I’m a firm believer in the idea that everyone’s life sucks… at least some of the time. Different people also have different abilities to cope with the sucky things that happen to them so what is an incredibally distressing experience for one person is not as bad for another.


Why do bad things happen to good people is a question best suited to those who choose to embrace living in the mystery because there simply is no answer that we are aware of. It’s one of those questions that makes you go “oh yeah…. I’m not God” He has a plan that we can’t see or comprehend but He is God.


As someone who has had a number of sucky things happen to them I want to say that sometimes the plan reveals itself even in our lifetimes, in ways we can understand. If I hadn’t gone through the rape and the utter desolation and pain in the months afterwards I don’t think I could have understood why my father divorced his wife in order to have relatiosnhips with men. I mean, the answer is obvious of course but there is a difference between theoretically knowing something and actually understanding it fully. My own coming out was laughably easy and I fit so seamlessly into the gay community that I really had no frame of reference for my dad; our experiences are so different. But because of the rape I do know fear and pain and heartbreak and I was able to use some of the things I learnt (after I calmed down and fled the country) to help build our relationship in ways I don’t think I could have done otherwise.


All I am saying is it all fits togther eventually. Sometimes we are lucky enough to see how it does and most times we are not. I guess this is what the Americans meant when they said “In God we trust”.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
October 12, 2008, 23:08

I’m not sure if you’ve heard this very very interesting theory about life.


here it is



Before we are born we are spirit. We choose to enter the realm of time, space and humanity to experience what we cannot as a spirit.


We then plan out the life we are going to live including our parents, where we live and the experiences we have.


When we are born however our memory is wiped of those details.


Then we spend the rest of our lives trying to remember…….”why am i here”



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
October 13, 2008, 07:42

Interesting Anthony, my Gnostic brother has told me the same thing and in some ways I do believe it, especially the spirit before we were born and possibility of us either choosing or accepting the “assignment” so to speak, dunno its another mystery but one I have and do at times think about.



oooooo
 
Joined in 2006
October 13, 2008, 10:38

well if that is the case then boy I must have had too much to drink that fri afternoon when i decided on all that lol.

or not much was on offer at the time lol


But …………….. i think it is what you make of what you get ……………. whether we make the decision before we get to earth or whatever is the scenario ……………..


but that opens up so many cans of worms


do i dare ??????????



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
October 13, 2008, 10:46

its certainly an interesting concept. If that is the case one thing I was limited in as a spirit was an active imagination 😆 ….think about it……


I think I’ll be born in an average family but I’ll be gay. I’ll struggle with that for 22 years, get married…..become a high profile preacher etc etc. When I come out I’ll get all my friends to reject me and I’ll begin my life all over again but this time living authentically. In fact I’ll feel like i’m beginning my life all over again at my 50th birthday and that everything up to that point will be a dress rehearsal.


then I’ll spend the rest of my life having the rewarding experience of working to bring change and relieve suffering.


Makes sense to me.



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
October 13, 2008, 11:33

well if that is the case then boy I must have had too much to drink that fri afternoon when i decided on all that lol.


😆 😆 3 cheers on that one 😉


Anthony, when you summarise it like that, it makes it clearer in an interesting way.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
October 13, 2008, 12:30

asking ourselves the question “why am I here?” is not unlike the christian concept of God’s will for my individual life (which I might add is a relatively new concept).


If we had chosen the experiences that are now a part of our lives (good and bad) then why would we have chosen them. In fact it would mean that there was no such thing as a bad experiences…..they would all be experiences that in essence were neutral……it would be the meaning we attach to them that would make them either positive or negative. (a bit of Buddhism there I think).


With this concept you can make every experience of value as it is learning or adding to your life journey. Not unlike the verse that says ‘all things work together for good for those who love god and are the called according to his purposes’.


When I was first introduced to the concept that I chose this life before I came into this world……it was incredibly liberating and turned so much I had previously viewed as destructive into something that was creative.


There is also another concept that helped me. I used to believe that God had a purpose for my life and I had to find that then walk the line to live it. Deviation from the path was disobedience and rebellion. Then I read a book that said “your purpose is the one you choose for yourself and no-one will stand in judgment of you in this life or the next”.


if I did get to choose my life purpose….it would still be what I’m doing now for sure.


here ended the philosophical lesson. 😆



oooooo
 
Joined in 2006
October 13, 2008, 13:25

yes ………………….. brings many questions to the fore for me lol


if that would be the case then …………….. yeh i see it,


and i am not/was not meant to be saying that only bad stuff happened to me but a hell of alot of hardship/heartache has ……… but one thing’s for sure – when you get to the end of the storm, whichever storm it is, you are stronger for it. The old saying, if it does not kill you it makes you stronger is certainly true.

I was only saying on the weekend in this little course i was doing that when i was no longer required at these 2 christian schools suddently (when they found out my sexuality/and i did not deny it) that i just wanted and needed to concentrate on my kids and my studies and did not have the energy to fight. That was true then. But of late, I am starting to get some fight come back inside lol

I am excited about that …………… so look out world of injustice, I am feeling good about myself ……………


on a little side issue but still sort of connected – of late I have had alot of past church friends/acquaintances request to be my ‘friend’ on Facebook. I have accepted them all, most have behaved themselves lol but a couple have started motions to challenge where i am at ( i state on there that i am happily gay) I have asked them (nicely) if they want to converse with me about it all …………. told them they may be a little surprised lol ……. have not had responses yet.


I may sound like a bit of a “smart ….”. I am not meaning to be, but like i said ‘fight’ is returning to me, and will not lie down when people shout out false information or express their own hatreds and cover them over as holiness.


End of my soapbox session.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
October 13, 2008, 14:12

hey Tez……


you may find this model helpful.


its the one I’ve been using for some time now with good results. I’ve presented this as an option in a number of places including the US and also the Sydney F2B meeting.


let me know what you think.


http://gayambassador2.blogspot.com/



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
October 13, 2008, 14:50

asking ourselves the question “why am I here?” is not unlike the christian concept of God’s will for my individual life (which I might add is a relatively new concept).


I never knew that!! There are so many concepts out there, isnt there, I mean yeh its good to have a dream a plan but sometimes the Christian perspective made you feel stressed out if you didnt have a plan to be a “preacher, evangelist or missionary or such” that you couldnt be a Doctor or check out chick if that is what you had your heart set on, I think its forgotten in some places that our call firstly is to love/follow/worship God then love/serve each other and just spread the good news about Jesus as we go as it comes up.(just my thoughts)


I searched for my plan and purpose and in the last however many years found I was walking it anyhow, the whole time 😯 😆 and that God just backed me up no matter what I did (this is refering to career or employment, study, missions or just being a partner/mother,hubby etc..) and luckily I guess I had some great home church leaders who taught me the scripture ” all things work out for good for those that believe” (just the one you mentioned and we are all called according to his purpose for r/ship with him) and for me that meant that maybe the problem may not completely resolve but that God could turn any situation into a positive one if I co-operated with him, that it was more than just positive thinking but an inner strength from him enabling me to keep going that I just cant explain.


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