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Shan - 19 year old country guy trying to make sense of things...

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Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
June 3, 2010, 10:13

Hi Shan


Sorry things have been so difficult for you.


Are you experiencing the manager’s comments as intrusive? Is that what’s worst about the job or is it his theology?


Blessings,


Ann Maree

N149
 
Joined in 2010
June 3, 2010, 11:37

Yeah, it is intrusive…


There is nothing wrong with the job, and I agree with his theology, He is just making it significantly awkward.

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
June 3, 2010, 12:46

Could you say to him that you feel awkward when he talks about what is essentially a very private subject? And then request that this topic isn’t discussed unless you bring it up.

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 3, 2010, 14:55

I am not sure that this will be an enormous comfort to you Shan…..but I thought you would have some ups and downs…..its not unusual…..so you are normal. 🙂


The initial euphoria of coming to terms with your sexuality can begin to wane ……then the other things….prevoius conditioning etc comes to the surface……over time we get stronger and stronger till eventually nothing can shake us cause we know we are okay and God loves us as we are.


What a great thing the guy said to you……..as we know his statement could have been very different.


Dont quit your job……..lets work through this……..just make sure you have lots of support around you…..including here of course.


thinking of you.

N149
 
Joined in 2010
June 3, 2010, 17:11

Oh I know…


Im thinking this could turn out well… We had a chat on facebook today… He seems to be OK with me… He said he is not 100% sure about the Bible, but that is better than “OMG YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!”.


We are going to have a chat sometime…


This has the potential to work out nicely… And that is what i am focussing on…



Chris
Administrator
Joined in 2009
June 3, 2010, 18:48

Shan I agree – I think that this is an opportunity more than anything else!


Some workplaces leave the personal side of people completely in the dark, and just leave the work environment to be completely professional and… well, fairly sterile. The more sizable and corporate a company is, the more they tend to head in this direction.


Other companies (or sections within larger companies) can be much the opposite, where everyone is pretty open and friendly and happy to just be themselves and talk about whatever.


Both types of work environments have their reasons for existing, I suppose, and there are pros and cons to each. Given your situation, I’d say your boss’s position in the latter is an outlet that can work for you, more than it can work against you.

Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
June 3, 2010, 19:44

Oh I know…


Im thinking this could turn out well… We had a chat on facebook today… He seems to be OK with me… He said he is not 100% sure about the Bible, but that is better than “OMG YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!”.


We are going to have a chat sometime…


This has the potential to work out nicely… And that is what i am focussing on…


You are probably extra sensitive ATM about this Shan……you are not used to declaring your sexuality or being outed for that matter. Its all new territory

Nick
 
Joined in 2007
June 3, 2010, 23:52

Hi Shan,


You have certainly been on a journey. Hopefully you will be able to draw strength from people around you especially when you are down. You are not alone.

One of the things that helps me when i’m down is recognising that sometime our feelings can be an enemy of truth. Feelings are not final authority. Truth is the standard by which reality is measured. And the truth is God loves you and those who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.


nick

N149
 
Joined in 2010
June 4, 2010, 01:33

Chris, I totally agree.


My work place in Sydney is really good, it seems to place focus on happy people work more productively. When I was in a state a few months ago, a few of my colleagues saw my status’ on Facebook, and went to HR to make sure they knew of the situation and everything was ok… Which made me feel so cared about.


In this situation I think, that he was just trying to do what, ultimately, would actually be good for me… To have a strong local Christian who I can talk things over with… Just never expected it to happen…


AVB, Yeah. It shocked me. Especially as every time so far I have come out to someone I have been able to orchestrate everything, time; place; conversation. So to have this happen was a total shock to me… And I think he knew it.


I got emails through the evening, including one that read “…I’m heaps glad to have u in my life and look forward to spending more time with you!…” So, I am thinking this could be quite the positive.


Thanks Nick :). I am still trying to understand that. Was listening to “He Loves Us” by Jesus Culture yesterday… And half way through I realised I had disassociated myself from the “us”. It just made me think…


S

N149
 
Joined in 2010
June 4, 2010, 01:34

Stupid double post.


My bad.
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