Hello Freedom,
I thought it would go away, I really did. Why didn’t God just let me be about it. “You can’t be a Pentecostal and be gay, much less be a preacher and have the gifts of the Spirit still work in your life.” I thought everybody knew that. That’s what they all said. “You can’t have the Holy Ghost and be a homosexual.” Case closed.
Oh me. Where do I start. Let’s abbreviate a bit. I received the Holy Ghost when I was six years old, began singing in church and learning to play the piano at the same time. Raised in the UPC, my father was an ordained minister, pastor and evangelist. I traveled with my parents over most of the southern USA and attended a UPC Bible College. Called to preach at age seventeen, I was minister of music in several churches and licensed briefly with another pentecostal organization. Started singing and playing the piano and organ at campmeeting at age 13, had no formal music training but played and directed with the best.
In 1969, I joined the military and went to Vietnam. Was married to a pentecostal preachers daughter shortly after the military because the church taught it so and had one beautiful son. I was divorced in less than five years for the same reason as the rest of you. It didn’t work. I had already left the church and since God hated me and I was going to hell anyway, I decided to do everything that was wrong and enjoy what time I had. I had nothing to lose. Became alcoholic, drug addict, mulitple car accidents and was many times in mental hospitals for depression.
My youngest brother of 20 had been murdered by a gay serial killer in Houston, leaving a baby son he never met and I left my little boy when he was about four and ahalf, one of the hardest things I ever did. After coming out, I was not allowed to see my son but once in thirteen years, not even to have a picture of him. His maternal grandmother was afraid I would make my son turn our like I was. He did anyway.
Rejoined the church in 1985 and thought God had healed me of my homosexuality. Began preaching and traveling again for five years and fell in love with a young man. It was not supposed to happen. I didn’t even know I was in love with him. It couldn’t be. I had been healed. I went back to drinking and became homeless in New Orleans. Beaten and mugged twice on the streets but survived and started my life over.
Anthony said I should share my story with you guys if I felt like it before I said much in the discussions. That might take a while. The very idea that there might be such a place for gay pentecostals to talk to one another blows my mind, much less that gay pentecostal churches are starting to spring up here and there. The Holy Ghost moving in the lives of homosexuals and ministering to them and others? I already knew about that. Maybe I can tell you about it sometime.
Oh, before I forget. The gifts and calling of God are still without repentance. The Church didn’t believe that any more than they believed other things we were taught. You will always be a preacher. And the gifts of the Spirit work in us just like they did before we found out we were gay and couldn’t do anything about it. I guess that means that the annointing of the Holy Ghost is still on us also? That’s right and He plans for us to use all of the above with us just like he did before to minister to his children and all others He sends our way. This journey has not come easy. It’s come with a dear price.
I really thought it would all go away. It just won’t. What are we going to do about it yall. God loves me today. He always did. I really didn’t know that.
Your brother in Christ,
Robert
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