The Velvet Rage – Overcoming the pain of growing up gay in a straight man’s world

Alan Downs, PH.D

Review:

Alan Downs writes this book as a heart–to–heart talk with gay men while inviting the straight reader to participate. It is a compassionate approach given the difficulty of the material he presents. After all, much of what he writes about is the darker, more unseemly side of gay life to which our straight friends and family are not exposed; and the truth be told, we’d rather that they didn’t know about. He writes from the perspective of a gay man who has experienced all of this and more, writing to a gay audience who know of what he speaks.

A life of struggle and secrets borne from the little boy with the big secret who becomes the man who is driven to avoid shame by hiding his dark truth. Famished for authentic validation and without a reliable sense of self-direction, he develops a sophisticated radar for those things and people who will make him feel good about himself.

This little boy grows up to be a man who is supremely knowledgeable of culture and fashion. A man of Adonis-sized proportions and many lovers. A man of great success and wealth. A fabulous and outrageous host. An arbiter of good taste and elegant design. A pop-culture aficionado.

To a great extent, these are the gay men we have known. This is you and me – a little boy with a terrible secret who hides his curse behind a curtain made of crimson velvet. It may surprise many to learn that this secret is not his sexual appetite for men. No, it is something darker, stinging, and filled with rage.

His secret he cannot reveal, not even to himself. For fear that it will consume him completely. Deep inside, far from the light of awareness the secret lives. Go down beneath the layers of public façade, personal myth, and fantasy. Peel away the well-crafted layers, for only then can you see the secret for what it is: his own self hatred.

F2B is definitely a safe place and peoples privacy is respected and protected.

Way cool, will pray it goes well!!!

I think it went exceptionally well everyone. We had 20 people. Terese and Dee came up from Canberra to be there. A special suprise was to have Ray Martin there. I was under the impression they were just going to do some filming. the film crew took about 30-40 minutes worth of footage.

Other great news is that F2B is going to be listed on the ninemsn website for referral purposes.

last thing………I’ve been asked to go on the 60 minutes website after the show to do a live chat and answer questions.

As soon as we know the date for screening then we wil have to spread the word so that people can send lots of positive emails/feedback about the story afterwards.

so all good my dear friends.

In my haste to get to MCC this Sunday I forgot to record 60 Minutes and it’s not posted on their site yet. Does anyone know somewhere I can see the program that ran on Sunday??

And how did the discussion go afterwards, Anthony?? Or has this been discussed elsewhere? 🙄