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they found out

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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
September 30, 2007, 11:31

I know ooooooo about the personal strength one needs to fight things like this…….and know a great deal about your situation totally understand your decision.


I remember when I left my wife and children to accept my life as a gay man. I did a cowardly thing…….I did a runner……but I know I didn’t have the strength for anymore confrontation…i was tired…..very tired of 12 months of drama preceded by 22 years of fighting to be a heterosexual..I need every ounce of courage I just follow through with my decision.


today though I win most of the battles…..i’m in a different place


Know that whatever path you choose…….I think you know that we respect and support you always as you do what you feel is the right thing for you at this time.



phil.evans777
 
Joined in 2007
September 30, 2007, 21:30

If you are perminant, and they can’t sack you, then stay.


do not admit to anything, if you have a great time teaching at that school, have solid relationships with your students, don’t leave. Those parents will come and go, I’m sure their kids don’t judge you the way they do, if they do, they’re only copying behaviour.


Most student’s I’ve found accept gay and lesbian people as they accept the emos and the jocks in the playground. They don’t really care.


It might take some time to come to terms with it, but if they are willing to sack you, let them, if not, say nothing and enjoy the other wonderful parts of your job.


my thoughts are with you. I’m sure it is a tough time. I have been through the whispers, I too was asked by my principal if I was supporting the ethos of the school and I truely believe I was.


I’m sure if you really got your ear to the ground you would find that there are lots of scandals in peoples lives. In my Christian school, there were people sleeping with their partners, getting drunk, living together and not being married – ooo aaaahhhh – I know the scandal of it. But in the eyes of the heads of school, that stuff is no go – but others get away with it.


You are not doing anything wrong. God loves you.



oooooo
 
Joined in 2006
October 1, 2007, 13:22

well i was not permanent nor a teacher – in one school i was admin staff and the other a sports coach


well i resigned from both, just did not want to be around people that would shun me openly and talk about me as soon as i walked past them. I guess i have a few things to work in me, cos i do not like being around people do not want you there and have said so. Some say i should have stayed and fought the whole deal, but for me, well, i have had a number or very big battles in my family life and am in no place to keep on fighting people that will not budge in their attitude just by me talking. It is difficult to face when one day you are liked and respected and the next you are a ‘monster’.


In my opinion it needs to be a God thing to change people’s hearts and yes sometimes God works through people protesting and not budging, but I guess i am just not in that place in my life to do that sort of thing. I am alone up here (no christian friends have stood by me) and my non christian friends have the most unpleasant advise and opinion towards the christian community and my situation has worsened that. I have fought many battles on my own for a long time but no more. It is too lonely.


Yes i know some of you have personally messaged me to say you support me and that is great and i thank you but lets be real, cyber support/friendship does not quite cut it when you have had a bad day/week.

Yes i put my little situation on cyber to ask for ‘what do i do?’ I have realised how lonely life can be when you resort to putting your life on display like this.


Don’t get me wrong, this site and you guys are all fantastic but we need real support by real flesh and blood relationships sometimes, well i do anyway.


But life goes on. This is a new place i am in – bit scary, but i am sure things will work out and I know God still loves me.



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
October 1, 2007, 19:51

I think its wise for your own self preservation at times not to fight or else we can fight for the rest of our lives and miss the good times or just get stuck in a rut with it because our focus is constantly on the defensive with some offensive strategy if we are capable of doing so. I guess its great to know when to back down and when to stand up, I must remember that for myself too oooooo.


You are right oooooo, let the Lord fight your battles, its a when I am weak he is strong situation but the weakness is by no means necessarily the way we see it but a stance of strength in trust in faith in someone stronger than anyone at all.

Human contact is so important, you are right, I am hoping that a great support group develops where you are for just that. I reckon you have done the right thing and got out of a negative atmosphere and just getting on with things. I pray some people will be brought around you, I know the Lord can provide that.



phil.evans777
 
Joined in 2007
October 4, 2007, 17:02

I agree with Magsdee. Good on you for looking after yourself. It really is important. Not everyone is called to stay in there and fight. It was clear to you that you were to go, by the sounds. So good on you for going with your gut. If there is anything we can do to support you, let us know.


You are right in saying it is up to God to change hearts. Its not up to us. Doesn’t it make you sad that people can’t be free of their own piety to the point where they miss out on getting to know and walk with someone who is different to them. I just think of all the different souls I have missed out on learning from because of my own self centredness at different points on my walk.


I’m sure there are many who will one day regret feeling how they felt and treating you the way they did. But sadly, there will be some who will never change. It is in God’s hand.


He loves you ooooooo



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
October 4, 2007, 18:05

Youre right Phil, its sad that people who judge and toss aside so quickly actually miss out on the diversity of us as human beings, everyone has a story to tell and something to offer. Yes, one day some of the people who have judged anyone because of their sexuality and caused harm may regret it, I just hope they have a chance to make amends, for their own sake.



oooooo
 
Joined in 2006
October 8, 2007, 10:01

so true

I do know actually, of a few little ‘scandals’ only because their families have connections with my kids etc. It is not my style to throw stones or ‘tit for tat’ routines. This experience has yet again shown me the amount of hypocrisy in our christian culture in this country as a general rule. I know not all are like that but it is clear to me how easily people (including myself in the past) can fall into the trap of feeliing elevated and better than anyone else.


I was chatting to this guy recently and when i told him of my background (expastor) he ran in the other direction as quick as blink. His reaction, in my opinion, is the same as those in the school and churches that because they ‘think’ they know about my situation, and have a stern opinion on that sort of behaviour, ousted me so quickly.

Already on the weekend i had one of the people i ‘use to work with’ call me and ask for advise. Now, they are in trouble this week already at the school, not knowing what to do and at this point unable to fix it. I offered but i can not be involved in helping the situation. How sad that this petty stuff exists in our 21 century society.


Oh well, all are still human i guess.


T



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
October 8, 2007, 12:02

I think its a shame that people who claim to be able to minister to people who are suffering dont actually have the tools to deal with the real issues of life. I know that for many of my friends it was just toooooo hard so instead of trying to reach out they withdrew……but in the end God worked it all out. I hold nothing against them. they are fellow human beings on a journey.


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