What would you do - move or stay?

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Joined in 2006
June 8, 2009, 20:34

I graduate from uni in 12 months, and my youngest finishes school in 18 months.

With this in mind i am thinking of leaving the region to start a new life when all that is done.

Again last week i bumped into christians from church, and all they could do was sneer at me and walked off.

I know it is their loss etc and they are being the foolish ones but I get sick of that type of thing happening, even now, some years since i left the church scene and it happens semi regularly.

I guess the Sunshine Coast is not that big of a place so i bump into people fairly often.

My question to you all is – What would you do? Stay or move?

Joined in 2006
June 8, 2009, 22:11

Good question…..I would look into moving, check out some other places elsewhere maybe further south and see if I could connect with some like minded people. You have to be content with your home and surrounds, makes such a difference but would do stacks of homework about it. Big decisions Tez, Im sure you’ll make the right ones for all of you.

Joined in 2006
June 9, 2009, 08:19

yeh, well i have at least 12 or 18 months to investigate

i want a change anyway but with what happened only about 2 weeks ago i figure, why not?

i do not deserve this, i deserve better

and i would like to go somewhere where people do not know what i use to be (pastor) and subsequently growl at me when they see me in public

so …… much thought and investigation will happen i feel

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
June 9, 2009, 13:40

well Tez… you know I’m a coach….so I’m not alowed to advise. Its against the rules of coaching.

What I can say however is that when I separated from my wife and family I thought it would be unfair to continue to live on the Central Coast and have my new life as an openly gay man so visible for everyone.

Moving to Sydney initially I didn’t really connect with the gay community or scene…..that happened a little later. That has its advantages and disadvantages.

I do live now relatively close the ‘scene’ but I’m not hugely engaged with Oxford St. I am heavily involved in the community however and have a great network of like minded people mostly gay and lesbian. I’m happy with this.

I also go along to Hillsong…and occasionally bump into people who knew me as a preacher. I don’t seem to get the nasty reactions that you are getting. Its not very christlike of them and its disappointing and hurtful.

i’m sure you will know what the right thing to do is when the time is right.

When your kids grow up and have to take responsibility for their lives I think its time for us to begin to live for ourselves. We’ve done our bit. Doesn’t mean we dont love them or wont support them, its just that we don’t need to be around all the time any more.

Joined in 2006
June 10, 2009, 21:19

Yeh that is my way of thinking – kids are old enough to fend for themselves

i will always be a dad and happy to be one

but it will be time in 12 – 18 months time for me to live more for me

(being a single parent for many years) i think i deserve some me time

but the trouble is the kids keep saying they want me around

but with the snarling i get sometimes still i just want to get away from it and go live somewhere where people do not know me as a “pastor gone wrong” – i do not think that but i know that is what they think (cos they say it as they snarl) lol


time will tell and i have 12 – 18 months to decide

for me it is just good to put it out there

helps me to make a good healthy decision

thanks guys

Joined in 2008
June 16, 2009, 15:32

What I’m wondering is why you would choose not to move. Based on the information I have seen here (there might be more that I don’t know, so I’m pointing that out), it just seems to be far and away the better option… still, I suggest you pray and see if God leads in a certain direction. And yes, you have a lot of time, so things may change by then. 🙂 Keep us posted.

Joined in 2006
June 18, 2009, 07:38

well the thing is I have never run away from a challenge so that is in the back of my mind but i need to work out if that is what i am doing or if it really is time for change, coinciding with a new chapter in my life – new career and no longer a full time dad (kids will all basically be young adults)

time will tell i guess

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
June 19, 2009, 08:29

I think for many of us who have been married and gay and come out in midlife…..the priority is to begin to live our own lives and have some of our own needs met…..and allow our kids to live their independent adult lives.

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