Mmmmm!!!!,

I looked at that vid and just thought is that freedom or conditioning of the church and the leaders???

If that is real then why aren’t their more “powerful” testimonies like that one, why aren’t churches filled with these “transformed homosexuals”, that have herad from God and had that God encounter.

I lived like Aaron for 30 yrs and did the whole christian thing,lived the good boy image, was a minister for 9 yrs and pastored small and large churches, surrounded by the “people need to get saved and be transformed and changed from their sinful lifestyles” yet the day came when i had to admit that “you know what i am a gay man,all the prayers,deliverance sessions, fasting, purity seminars, haven’t helped me”!

I realised that i don’t have to be changed as God loves me the way i am.

If only churches would stop trying to convert everybody and have this doctrine that every person has to be saved/changed to enter the Kingdom of God and just embrace people where they are at and IF god wants to change them for whatever reason isn’t He big enough and powerful enough to do so???

I looked at Aaron and it all felt sooo false and too sqeaky clean and insipid for me to believe,

When i saw him on the platform with his pastor it was almost like the churches trophy and gave it a launch pad to proclaim God’s will for everyones life.

I lived my christian life mainly to please people not God as i wanted their acceptance and approval as they were the ones that i could see,touch,talk to and they heard from God so they must be right???? But! in so doing i prostitited myself for mininstry and became someone false and ugly and so so unhappy.

Now i am a gay man and loving it, i am free to express my sexuality,to love my Father in heaven who has chosen not to change me but! to love me unconditionally just because I AM ME!!!!

thanks freeme and Ann Maree for your observations.

First of all I think I ‘d like to say that is a very well produced video…..very touching actually.

listen to Aaron speak reminded me so much of myself in my late teens and early 20’s. I would have used the same language ….quoted the same bible verses…..it was a real deja vu. particularly weird considering that was 40 years ago.

It seems Aaron is very confused about the separation of sexuality and morality.

He also talks about something very common in these stories…….an unfulfilled life as an openly gay man. Of course what he hasn’t come to realise yet is that some of those self destructive behaviours are actually the result of the conditioning he has had over the years hating his gay self and seeing it as evil, sick and what would ultimately separate him from God.

He will probably play closet hokey pokey a few times like many of us have done.

Freeme……we know what it is like spending many years in denial and believing that one day we would change……lets hope it doesn’t take as long for Aaron as it did for us.

Even though he is quite emotional in the video…..there is something inside me that seems to feel that for all those wonderful words about being free….that he is not really happy….or free.

Is this true or is it just me I wonder.

he is on a journey…….only a youngen……lets see where he is about this in a few more years when he becomes increasing fragmented.

I have worked with quite a few guys over the years who came out out in their 60’s ……latest one at 63. I wonder what they would say to young Aaron.

🙁

Anthony,

One thing that really stood out for me as well was his eyes, HIS EYES the words didn’t match up with the eyes!!!

The eyes were like a fishes eyes (which by the way have no expression they are just in the sockets) there was no spark in them,no life,passion,no excitement. To me that was so,so sad to see that my heart went out to him.

I will be praying for Aaron that is for sure.

Cheers

Freeme

Wow…so many things going on here.

I really feel for Aaron. I was in the same place that he was and had that hope that everything was going to be better from then on. I was even asked by my church at that time to do a testimony video (similar to Aaron’s).

What was making him unhappy and keeping him from loving God and living to his full potential was not the homosexual ‘lifestyle’…it was his internalised homophobia and self hatred.

Sadly Aaron has been abused by the church into beleiving that he is not good enough as a gay man and that he would not be welcome in the church. This is so wrong.

I would tell Aaron to take 6 months off, to do some research and to get to know real gay Christians and see the power of God in their lives. Sadly this battle inside him between faith and sexual orientation will keep raging on until he manages to reconcile both parts of his life.

I really feel for him and think he’s probably a lovely guy deep down…sadly he still doesn’t see Jesus for who He is. Aaron feel’s like he had to change…so sad.