sometimes its difficult to see the big picture because we are lost in the forest.

the gentleman said a very profound thing to me having been involved with ex-gay ministries now for many years…….he said……I was sold a very cruel lie. Marrying a woman was supposed to solve my problem. It not only didnt solve my problem….its created them for others now as my wife deals with wasted years when she could have been with a heterosexual man she could grow old with and my children who have to deal with their parents separation……and sorting out the fact that their father is gay.

I know there are many gay men and lesbians have said to me that they nearly got married but now are very glad they didn’t…..it was difficult enough to sort things our themselves without dragging anyone else into the drama.

exactly!!!!

and if what we do want is possibly going to cause someone/s pain down the track, maybe we have to rethink our wants a little or wait til we sort things out before becoming involved seriously.

I agree! Its not fair to the other person.. I met my girlfriend in a time in my life when I was a mess ( because of the sexual abuse ) from a man. We became friends and before I knew it we were girlfriends.

If she was a man, I would be the happiest woman on earth! But she`s not and allthough she is wonderfull and I love her, Im not happy with my life because I want something more ( my own family )

Whats it like to be bisexual? I have allways been bi but I didnt, in these years, do anything about it. When I met her, she was the first woman that I fell in love with.

Its very confusing to me. We are celebrating our 3 years together today!

I fell in love with who she is and the genter didnt matter but as the 3 years has passed, I have become more and more aware of what I dont have and it makes me unhappy.

I have chosen to be very open about it and shes wants to know how I fell so she knows all this. She is unhappy too because she dosent know if Im going to leave her in a week or in a year.

But how can I make her feel safe when I dont know the answer myself! Im hurting the one that means the most in my life. We talked about it yesterday and we both cried. I dont want to hurt her..

I cant just plan to met a man, fall in love and have some children in a hurry!

Im not able to forget about my dream of having kids and Im not able to leave her! If I do, she has told me that it will mean that she will not be able to talk to me or see me anymore because she loves me too much to just be friends………………

Im attracted to the dream and what I dont have. And also I know that the abuse was what that made my open to women in that way. I have also been bi but if the abuse had never happened, I would not be in such a mess right now!

I fell trapped in my own feelings and im very unhappy. Unhappy because I dont know how to get what I need/ want AND because Im making my girlfriend very unhappy as well.

Whats a roadblock? The biggest problem?

LOL 😆 I know I know ……… I think you answered my question 😉

I personally can love both men and women but what makes me a lesbian is that I cant have sex with a man, im not intimately attracted to men and just dont fall in love with them.

You told us that you were sexually abused, im so sorry 🙁 too many of us have been there sadly.

I guess my question is, could you be sexually intimate with the “right” guy? a guy that could understand you and where you are at with your disability and your background? If yes, then I guess it could be possible for you to fulfill your dreams and have women around you love but dont act sexually with but as always its a choice you have to be confident as being what you want and being happy. A thought: would you be tempted away from a man you are committed to by a woman?

On the other hand, theirs a few ladies on here who have children in a lesbian r’ship and they could tell you so much positive things 😀

I know you are battling with where God stands with this, so I guess the first step would be, dealing with the abuse with a good counsellor you feel comfortable with, to even sort out if you are attracted to women because it maybe safer from what had happened to you and in the meantime over time just search out who appeals to you more since you could have kids either way with either a commited man or woman and raise them in a wonderful loving home. Does your g/f know what youre going through?

(these are just my thoughts without me stepping into an area Im not qualified to do 😉 )

what do you think? what is most important right now to deal with for you if all you had to think about was yourself?

(I think these are valid questions to ask just to make sure one gets clarity in ones own mind amongst the noise and then record once the answers take shape..then at least one can gain confidence of what you want, its just important not to rush it, be patient and not pannick because nothing will happen to you whilst youre still trying to understand, God is bigger, patient and so loving in these times)

recent update…..anthony venn brown finally realised after 16 years of separation that it wasn’t his wife he’d fallen in love with but possibly fallen in love with the idea of being a husband and father (normal). He loved his wife…but was never fully in love. the kind of love that lasts a life time. it was the kind of love that two close friends have. Good love….but not the thing we are all looking for in a relationship

this is sad…..because its not fair on others

Thats great Justin 😀 it isnt a choice at all for us and for the Bi-sexual either, the only difference is that the bi-sexual can swing either way and I guess eventually has to make the decision of “who” to settle with.

It is the system that betrayed us because of ignorance sadly not God, “man” wants us to change who we are born as relationally yet “God” wants us to be who we are in union with him in r’ship with each other.