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Yes, It's Time

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Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
March 5, 2008, 17:42

i fixed up the link for you Wayne


that maggie is a good girl isn’t she



waynejc
 
Joined in 2007
December 11, 2008, 20:29

Well, it’s December 2008… I’m wondering whether I’m making any progress on this sojourn. I’m back in Sydney, with my three kids, and my wonderful wife is joining us just in time for Christmas. Looking for work, looking for faith, looking for our next steps… I’d love to get together with someone from this site. I really need to talk. I have no internet access right now, so I may take time to respond.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
December 12, 2008, 11:12

hi Wayne……you missed our christmas dinner last friday night…..you could have met up with about 20 of us then…..never mind.


I’m about to disappear on a personal retreat for 18 days….but if you give me a call on my mobile then I’ll see what I can organise.


0416 015 231



waynejc
 
Joined in 2007
July 5, 2009, 01:43

Friday night I attended a Freedom 2 B(e) discussion night. In many ways it was pretty much what I expected: a bunch of GLBT Christians sitting around and talking about faith and sexuality. There were about twenty men (no women) there on Friday night. All Christians, all gay (presumably). Wow. I didn’t expect to be tongue-tied… but I really felt like I had nothing to say all night. [I didn’t even think to ask why the ‘e’ in ‘b(e)’ is in bracket(s).] The brief conversations I had before and after the meeting seemed terribly awkward. The few words I said during the actual meeting only came out when I was directly asked a question… I had lots going on in my head, but nothing was going to come out, even if I wanted it to. And this is a man who leads psycho-educational and therapeutic groups for a living! It is so different not being the group leader!


So I reflected on what was going on for me that made it seem so difficult. I think the feelings that overwhelmed me were relief and acceptance. Not to mention the feeling of “wow, I’m in a room with 20 gay men and there’s nothing overtly sexual going on” (I’m NOT getting into what might have been happening covertly); or “wow, I’m in a room with 20 gay men and there’s no one telling us how we can find freedom or deliverance from our sexual proclivities.” The feeling of relief came from being relieved of the straight disguise that I necessarily wear in my daily life. The feeling of acceptance, of it being okay to be on the outside the same man that I’m okay with on the inside.


So, mostly I listened to the conversation, and watched people. I was amazed at how articulate some of the men were – they could tell their stories, or spout off a list of facts with great eloquence. I noticed the ones who weren’t talking (it wasn’t just me). I admired Anthony Venn-Brown’s ability to lead the group – to contain some members and to draw information out of others. I thought about ways the group could be run differently – what I might have done if I were the leader, and what might have helped me feel a bit more comfortable, instead of feeling overwhelmed by my own internal responses to the setting.


I also took notes, at Anthony’s invitation. I thought at one point that the notes would make excellent blogging material. It would also make a great academic paper, which I would love to submit to a journal some day.


Thanks guys – it seems like a whole new world suddenly opened up for me


P.S. This is an excerpt from my blog… I’ve included some of my notes there (hope that’s ok).



iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
July 5, 2009, 09:31

It was nice to meet you on Friday night after the discussion Wayne. Yes we are a mixed bunch of people at different stages in their GLBT faith journey, but I think that’s what makes F2b an awesome group to be involved with. We were hoping you could have joined us for a meal afterwards, but you probably had other important things like family to attend to. We do have a couple of other guys who are married who come along to F2b.


Hope you can share more of your journey with us on the forum.



Chris
Administrator
Joined in 2009
July 5, 2009, 13:04

Wayne, I think a slightly awkward experience is the norm when stepping in to an F2B meeting for the first time.


My first time was just back in March this year. We had Sandra Turnbull giving her life story and there was a big crowd. I arrived late, so I could just sit up the back and listen. In retrospect I think it was a good thing for me as if I’d started out with a small discussion group (like this last Friday) as my first ever meeting, I would have freaked out.


The second time I went was a DVD viewing so I was able to just sit back for that one too. By the time I was at my first actual discussion-style F2B meeting, I already knew a whole bunch of people from the last times I went so it was much more comfortable. Looks like you, however, got thrown in the deep end.


Going to Betty’s afterwards really takes the cake for me though. I remember after my first F2B meeting, just chatting to people I’d never met before – and feeling completely free to say anything I wanted. Sure I already had a few friends who I am out to, but it’s not the same. Being able to just sit and chat with people who know what you’re going through is like nothing else.


In any case I guess what I’m trying to say is that now you’ve made the first step, it gets way easier from here on out!



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
July 6, 2009, 23:41

You are like a Barnabas Chris…..a real encourager….and of course great computer geek as well…:lol:…love your work. 😀



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
July 6, 2009, 23:59

…and I think I need to ask your forgiveness wayne for my momentary lapse in sensitivity by directing a question to you so soon in the night and your first meeting……occasionally I forget what a huge step it is for some people to actually step into the building……and BTW….I did the same thing with my wallet on saturday night that you did friday night…..must have been a bad alignment on the planets. 😆 😆 😆


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