Hi there everyone,

Have been watching the forum closely and figured it’s about time to share something of my own.

I’ve only really just come out of the closet in the last month, and I must say, it’s a massive weight off my shoulders to not have to hide my true feelings away (although, my family structure means I still have to, to a degree). Mother and father are a little embarrassed… They’re trying to ‘protect’ my young siblings from my ‘big secret’, and maybe I’m selfish, but I’m not really doing much to hide.

Always knew something was different about myself, just never had the knowledge to put my finger on what it was… I still had to go through the years of wondering and anxiety about liking other guys and not knowing why and feeling like the odd one out. Even dated a few girls, which was lacklustre. Until mid last year when my whole world began to crumble (a friend came out and I was confronted by how real it all was to me personally and how much I felt like him). It felt like I’d reached a crossroads and either I had to deal with this, or live a lie.

Having come from a large pentecostal church, I’d heard all the relationship seminars and love messages before. Always about heteros. Fine, it’s a bible thing and a tradition thing and I fully respect that.

At the moment I feel a bit out of place in a church. Probably because I feel that the messages aren’t hitting the right spots anymore. I know God loves me, Jesus is Saviour. That’s currently enough for me. The rest just feels a little bit of a hypocrisy and a show, to be honest.

So with much stress and a whole lot of discovery, here I am. It’s a continuing journey, but it’s been comparatively uneventful, unlike some stories I hear and my heart goes out to people who have really struggled beyond what I could imagine. I’m a bit stubborn and cut to the chase pretty quickly, so I’ve kinda plowed my way through all the last few years of crap to get to where I am (which is not the end of the road by any means).

Love the work that Freedom 2 be do. Have been touched by it personally.

Hugs and love,

Macman1 🙂

I’d like to add my welcome as well Macman1……great to have your hear in our space.

It is interesting isn’t how when we come to terms with our sexuality there are a number of events and messages in church that are no longer relevant to us., It assumes that everyone in the congregation is heterosexual…….which of course is not the truth.

thanks Macman!

Be good to hear more from you in the future. You’ve made it sound so easy– which is kinda true once you’ve got through it.

I realised that I had faced my biggest fear, and found that it wasn’t so bad.

Which isn’t to minimise the traumas of those around me, or that I still have to deal with the consequences. But once you’ve dealt with the BIGGEST fear, you kinda take the others in your stride.

Ian

Hey Macman,

So so good to have you here on the site. I hope you get as much encouragement from here as I have. Also it is so important in helping others. A few kind words and a bit of encouragement can go a long way!! 😉

I totally understand you and can relate where you said “At the moment I feel a bit out of place in a church. Probably because I feel that the messages aren’t hitting the right spots anymore. I know God loves me, Jesus is Saviour. That’s currently enough for me. The rest just feels a little bit of a hypocrisy and a show, to be honest”. I feel pretty much the same way. Although I love going to church I feel like they just don’t get me anymore, almost as if there is no longer a ‘place’ for me there. Not that I am neccessarily being excluded but it’s just that I don’t feel like I belong. It’s strange!!

Hope you are having a great week and it would be great to see you at the Freedom 2 b[e] Youth event later this month. Feel free to bring some friends or support if you’d like.

Once again, it’s fantastic to have you here. Welcome to Freedom 2 b[e]!! 🙂 🙂

Ben