29 yo lesbian accepts being gay and christian....finally

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Beck D
Joined in 2008
December 1, 2008, 21:47

I’m 29 and it’s taken me the last 10 years to accept myself and find a relationship with God again.

I was born into a very strict pentecostal family. We went to church every week and my father was a preacher there. He had (and still has) very strict views on gay people and I clearly remember being about 10 or 11 and him saying that “God hates gay people. What they do is wrong”

Imagine my shock when I finally worked out what was “wrong” with me. I was 19 and diagnosed with depression. Everthing was going down hill and nothing I did seemed to make it better. I fasted, I prayed like crazy and even had people casting demons out of me…..but nothing seemed to work.

I sat down with a lovely counsellor from the church and told her what was happening. I felt like my whole life was out of control and to make matters worse, I had feelings for other girls in the church! I will never forget that night when she turned to me and said “Honey, I think you’re gay” I recall saying “Oh no, noth that” and she said quietly, “You know what? That’s okay”

It was the words I needed to hear. I had thought for a long time and feared for an even longer time I might be a lesbian….but finally when someone said it and I heard those words it was like a burden being lifted off me.

I still made the decision to leave the church – and I had nothing to do with any kind of religion or God for the last 10 years. I went on living life as a single person until I met my partner. I finally had to sit down and say to my family “I’m gay”. They took it as well as I expected. But you know what? I’m gay and that’s who I am.

I stumbled upon this site by chance and I have been moved by the stories on here. It has also prompted me to make a long overdue re-connection with my faith.

Thanks to Freedom 2 e I’m regaining a relationship with God I never thought possible. 😆

Youth Coordinator
Joined in 2008
December 1, 2008, 22:03

Hey Beck,

It is so great to see you here on the F2B forums. I hope and pray that you will get heaps out of being part of such an awesome community.

Your story is great and it is still being written by the sounds of it….There is so much more of your life yet to live!! 😀

That church counsellor sounds amazing!! You were lucky to hear her say that. I bet that was an amazing feeling to know that it is ok to be gay. There’s nothing wrong with you.

Hoping your journey towards reconciling your faith and sexuality goes great. We are here to support you in any way we can!


You are amazing!!

Joined in 2008
December 2, 2008, 00:57

Wow Beck D – it was such a treat to read your post and about the renewing of your faith! I can relate to so many parts of your story – you’ve totally made my day. 🙂 Family reaction, decisions to leave the church (I moved to Sweden to get away!), being a similar age, and I’ve also been really blessed in finding the F2b forums.

I hope the stuff with your family works out well and in God’s good timing. It can be a real burden and struggle, as I’m sure many of us here would know. It’s hard work and it’s heartbreaking because it’s just not right, and it’s nothing short of exhausting when you always have to deal with the massive elephant in the room at every bbq or wedding or huge family feast+christmas tree decorating night with every sibling and partner under the sun but your own (Can’t tell what I’ve just been through for the last 4 hours at all!!)

It’s also good to have some other “late 20’s” folk here 🙂 You were pretty luck to hear the “it’s ok to be gay” thing when you were still a teen and to accept it ok! Positive affirmation!! And with that, you’re awesome and it’s great to have you here and you should definitely post more 🙂 lol Do keep us posted this week with your faith and coming close to God thing – it’s a blessing to hear about it!!


Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
December 2, 2008, 10:29

wow Beck……how great to read your post and for you to connect with us.

I think now that you’ll be able to find a lot more info that will help you on your journey.

I know that when I resigned from the ministry and left the church in 1991…..I really thought I was the only one in the world who had to deal with these issues…….how silly….hehe.

F2B has helped us all to connect and know that we are not alone.

I shut my spiritual life down for 6 years because it was just tooooo confusing. Today though I feel completely resolved in all areas……my sexuality, people that wronged me and my faith.

BTW………there are 1,000’s of people in Pentecostal churches who now realise that homosexuality is a sexual orientation and not a sin. We are just waiting for that to filter up to the leadership.

You may find this post on one of my blogs helpful

Joined in 2005
December 2, 2008, 15:07

welcome Beck D. So cool you are here and that this site has had an impact on ya. Rock on!!!

Joined in 2007
December 2, 2008, 16:05

Welcome to F2B, Bek.

I’m so glad to hear that a Christian Counselor told you it’s okay to be gay. That was encouraging for me to hear.

I hope that you will find much here at F2B that will help you on your journey.

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