It was 12 mths to the day our son "Mr Summit" came out to my husband and myself and told us he was gay. For those who don't know my story you can read it here http://www.freedom2b.org/forums/?vasthtmlaction=viewtopic&t=1544 so I'm not repeating myself. Yes it was a bit of a shock and as parents we had something’s to adjust to, issues to sort out etc. However our love, acceptance and support of our son never wavered. Our youngest son (Mr Summit's brother) also had some adjusting, and things to work through as well. I should point out that my husband is just as supportive, loving and accepting of "Mr Summit" as myself he just isn't a forum person. So is our daughter in law, so I guess you could say Mr Summit is pretty fortunate to have the whole family on board.
So how have things changed in our family, well I think things are pretty good at the moment, our son can be open and honest with us and live his life now as an openly gay young man. We have now told all extended family and friends that need to know that our son is Gay, so far so good 🙂
My husband and I have certainly changed our views and thoughts over the last 12mths. From a scriptural point of view our beliefs changed very quickly and for us has not been an issue. We have been to several F2B meetings and met some interesting and lovely people. We will certainly be going to more down the track. I've joined the F2B forum, It was pointed out a week ago it's only been a little over 7 mths since I joined.
For me personally (after adjusting to the knowledge our son was gay) the biggest impact on me has been the amazing, beautiful, courageous people I have met on this forum. I have been truly touched by your stories. Stories of courage, strength, sadness, pain, joy, love, hope, endurance and faith, stories that have moved and inspired me. I have been deeply saddened by stories of pain, hurt and rejection and celebrated with you in times of joy, growth and personal triumphs. I think I have become a more accepting person and I believe the people on this forum have contributed to that. The love, support and encouragement you all give each other is outstanding. Anthony started a very good thing many years ago that has only grown to be a wonderful supportive, non-judgmental place for all to come too. Everyone who contributes whether on this forum or in other ways to F2B need to take a bow and be proud of the work that has helped F2B to be the awesome place it is today.
My son encouraged me to join the forum he said they didn't have many mums like me. I have found out that some mother's and father's aren't so supportive of their gay children and have even rejected them. As a mother I find this hard to understand and it saddens me greatly. I know we have other wonderful supporting loving parents in the F2B family. Some like Sam's mum Helen have also joined the forum and offer their support and encouragement. It would be awesome to have more parents come onto the forum.
I encourage any parents reading this post who have not yet accepted their child and may have even turned their back on them to open your hearts. From mother to mother, parent to parent, this your child. Unconditional love is not about whether our children do as we ask or behave as we would want. It's not about whether you agree with them or not. Hey all our kids do stuff we are not always happy with but we don't stop loving them. I really believe there is one thing us parents, us mother's should not do and that is withhold our love from our children. Coming from a strong church background I can imagine and even possibly understand the issues and feelings you may be faced with. Friends, churches come and go, but the love we have for our children will remain with us forever.
I read this recently in a book "Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first, the lesson afterward" how true, kind of sucks. We never know what life is going to throw at us; it's in those tough times our true character comes out. I have read stories and posts of some amazing, wonderful, beautiful characters on this forum. We don't always know why we go through tough times but I do know that with the love, support and encouragement of wonderful people and a group like F2B it can help make a positive difference and help lessen the burden. I hope my little bit of input helps in some small way and it's not just the ranting’s of a crazed women ha ha.
May 2012 be a wonderful, happy, safe and healthy year for all. May it bring new and exciting things into your lives.
God bless to you all.