A New Paper re Church Attitudes to Homosexuality

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Joined in 2007
January 8, 2010, 11:18

(Sidebar: Is it possible to get an administrator to move these few posts to the news section under the article to which they pertain? It’s probably confusing for other people reading.)

Woah! Okay lets back up a step here. Obviously I wasn’t clear. I never said that elderly gay people weren’t subject to discrimination or prejudice from Christian groups or anyone else. I never said they were the most visible group of elderly people in society and that we should ignore the high rates of suicide. In fact I quite agree with everything you said. I’m a social worker and have spent my share of time in aged care. Not once did someone tell me they were gay or lesbian and I must have been in close contact with hundreds of people. My comments weren’t directed at elderly gay people at all if you read what I wrote carefully. I was questioning the use of the terms “special” and “specific” in relation to the needs of elderly people within residential care insitutions. The author of the article tries to convince us that gay people have special needs different to the rest of society and its due to those special needs that they fare so badly in aged care. I’m sorry but I still don’t get it, whats so special about being gay? Why do people stuff you into a group where you must–for your own benifit–be treated differently to everyone else to satisfy some specific need that is neither outlined or explained? Sounds suspiciously lke placing Aboriginals on reserves to me.

It’s a human right to be free from discrimination and prejudice.

It’s a human right to be entitled to the same level of competant care than every other person in the same situation.

It’s a human right not to be denied access to medical or care services due to HIVAIDS or the percieved threat of it.

It’s a human right to be able to express and claim any religion or sexual orientation you like as long as it doesn’t hurt other people.

These are not gay rights, they are human rights and I resent being made to feel “other” or “special” or “specific” in order to claim them and have others advocate for them on my behalf.

You’re right, I am young and call me idealistic if you like but I’m not naieve. Things aren’t going to change overnight. It is us “young” people who will reap the benifits of the good activisits who struggle on our behalf today. This is my fight as much as it is yours.

Joined in 2009
January 8, 2010, 11:53

🙂 Sorry Sandy I wasnt trying to be judgemental in what i was saying. I have had an interviewer to see me re this paper and I agree with you whole heartedly and I told them that we should not be treated as having other needs we just want acceptance as any other seniors. The “Het “world seems that we want everything “our” way,which is not true. Do we look down on what “Hets” do in private. This is all we seem to get especially from the church.

Dont feel for me as I have many friends out there who love me for who I am. It is just that I feel for so many out there who havent come to that position.

You might have noted that i put out a call early december for othe senior Gay men to meet on this web site, with not a response. It shows i feel that a lot still do not feel comfortable with contact. it is an area that we all should be aware of .

If you know of any elderly Gay show that you all care.

Remember we all somewhere reach those senior years.

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
January 8, 2010, 12:46

Do you think Murray that seniors are less likely to use trhe internet and that might be why you haven’t had a response to your request for an elder group? Just a thought.

I often think that the elderly in general are not treated well in this country, especially when compared to eastern countries like Japan and China, where elders are revered for the wisdom and knowledge they possess. I have often thought we need to adopt a similar attitude here.

I’m sure that LGBTIQ elderly would feel even more vulnerable given the inequality with hetero’s that already exists because of their sexuality, and then on top of that, dealing with the uncertainty and difficulties of the aging process. I also think that in many peoples’ minds, sex and sexuality go hand in hand and there is still a negative attitude that older people shouldn’t be sexually active!! I don’t agree with that and believe that elderly people of all orientations should be assisted to live life to the full and be honored for their contributions.

Joined in 2009
January 8, 2010, 15:59

8) A lot has also to with attitude.

A big thing that Gay men worry about is looks.and the media dont help.

Even when i was younger I had a concern for the older Gay.

To note the despair as my friends grew older. Aways worrying as to loosing their looks especially if they were alone. As you say even when we are old our sexual drive might diminish but it is still there. Depression can then take over and this can spiral right down to the place of whats the use.Finally suicide seems the only way out.

.One good thing is relationships .

I know of many gay that have grown old gracefully in relationships but these connections usually start early in life. I myself was in a wonderful relationship for 35 years. A lot more than alot of Hetrosexual marriages last and that was without a bit of paper making it legal .

As the bible says man was not made to live alone.

Joined in 2009
January 8, 2010, 16:08

As for the internet..

The internet is a godsend to a lot of older gay. Most of my friends that I have made over the years keep in contact with me now by net.

I see in the local libraries a great number of older people learning to use the internet

, I do not think it is because they dont want to know or cant understand computers

.I have a terrific lot of straight friends who absolutely love the internet.I think the problems are much deeper with the Gay. Loneliness takes over.

Joined in 2009
January 8, 2010, 18:26

8) To note the despair as my friends grew older. Aways worrying as to loosing their looks especially if they were alone. As you say even when we are old our sexual drive might diminish but it is still there. Depression can then take over and this can spiral right down to the place of whats the use.Finally suicide seems the only way out.

Hell I’m only 31 and that’s already become a problem for me in finding partners. I’ve only had two meaningful (both short) relationships in the last 8 years. (It was never a problem between 18 and 23… in fact I seemed to have the opposite problem then!) While I’ve looked after myself well, I have male pattern baldness and am not the thinnest guy around. I know guys who are 28 and 33 in similar situations. When I was younger I knew a 40yo who had already reached that “whats the use” point you describe. I’m so busy and active in other fields (work, study, friends, music, online) that my self esteem is affirmed in other ways, but I won’t deny it’s lonely out here. And thinking with advances in medical technology we probably have 60 years ahead… wow.

Joined in 2007
January 8, 2010, 19:37

I have actually advised all three of my children that they ought to marry their best friend. Regardless of gender. It’s been my experience over the years that the marriages that tend to last are the ones where the couple are best friends.

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
January 8, 2010, 19:39

Bald guys can be sexy. Don’t give up pingtimeout!! This is super depressing to hear at 31. Bad enough at any age but not at 31. Maybe it’s just hard to find meaningful relationships? I think this is the case for women and lesbians too.

Joined in 2009
January 8, 2010, 22:04

0:) Pingtimeout and Anne Marie. this is so sad to hear.

Why cant we be more able to see through the veneer. Man looks on the outside but God looks on the heart. There are so many out there that have hearts of gold but their human frame is not so good looking.

I also when young was able to write my own cheque as far as attracting who I wanted.

We are a funny species. We must remember that we all will grow old .looks will fade.

Mind you some get more attractive the older they become.It is the luck of the draw.

I just say that when you find the love of your life hold on to them if you can because loneliness in old age can be crippling.. I have seen this in many of my friends.

Joined in 2007
January 8, 2010, 23:11

Um…not to rain on the parade or anything but getting old isn’t all bad. Some people have wonderful, exciting lives well into their forties and fifties…and I won’t go any further than that seeing as I am thinking of avb as my example 😉 I won’t deny that we get lonely and lonliness in old age seems to be esepically potent but that doesn’t mean we can’t live fulfilling lives. Do you really need a man in order to be happy in life? To have self-esteem and like who you are, on the outside as well as in? I think not.

An incredible woman who wrote under the name Sarah Aldridge and co-founded the historic Niaid Press (the first lesbian publishing company) died at 93. She was a lesbian and from what I have read of her she was sitting on her porch, talking to her friends and loved ones drinking scotch until very shortly before her death. She was happy and there are so many more like her we don’t know about. It is possible and its not out of our control to make it happen for ourselves.

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