Is someone familier with this feeling . When I want to choose for my homosexual I have fear. More when I just hide it again I feel more peace about it. But after a time I’m dealing again with my desires. I always understand it like God saying that it is not his will. Because this is such a unrest feeling its bordering me, can or its like a heave stone in my stomach? Its most that I most believe that its not Gods way for me. Thats maybe also the way where I can find piece. But I can not fight against it anymore. I don’t have a good feeling formyself about it. I don’t feel straight.

Like fear is not from God, now I deal with fear. I feel a deep root of fear into my soul over this situation. Is fear stopping me and fear is more like a hand that tries to grip your thought. Like fear comes from the devil its not from God its one of the things that sin is in the world. And fear tried to take Jesus in the garden. My God is a god of love an grace and there is no fear or dankness in him.

Hello

Time by time I come to this forum to read testimonies. Yes I do a lot of reading on the internet heard yesterday a testimony on Christiangay.net. About a guy named steve who attended a big bible college and stayed in the closetm the school is in the south of the states. And on the forum was a guy who posted his letter for his parents and it was inspired me.

Its a journey for me, my heart breaks when I hear that young christians get rejected when they say that they are gay. Its very hard to say to a close friend I don’t know if I can do it.

I tried to change as long as I’m a Christian. But it doesn’t seem that God has changed me. Like I not out that I will do than a relationship. But I feel like this and God healed me from much emotional stuff except this. I want to accept it but I want to go Gods ways to. And now I still believe that God has better things and I have not the possibility to do a public coming out its not allowed where I’m now.

And I know that some people will not except it.

This is also a reaction of the guy from Remix. He will be ex-communicated by the christian networks. So he doesn’t even have a relationship and only told that he is gay and not the only one. But I assume that many more people will take a step to come out as gay person.

Hi 4JC!! Nice to see you post on here again! We haven’t heard from you in a while. 😉

I was reading through this thread and saw a very familiar mindset that I have had to overcome in my own life. That pattern of thinking is this:

“If I choose to accept my sexuality, then I am going against the will of God. Gay surely does not equal God.”

This mind set had a severely damaging impact on me spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, even physically. I resented myself. I was a constant collage of guilt, turmoil, anger, sadness, hate and fear. I went through so much unneeded suffering because I was living in the mindset of which I was brought up in; “you can not be with God and be Gay”. As far as I knew, there was no other truth.

I had to stop and rethink about what I had so blindly accepted as truth in my life. I didn’t turn my back on God or what I believed in, rather I just put everything that I had been taught back on the shelf, took a step back and looked at the whole picture.

It just didn’t make sense to me. If being gay was so abhorrently evil, why didn’t God deliver me from it? I felt no conviction in my spirit for wanting to love and be with just one man. I couldn’t see how me being attracted to men made me any more less of a Christian than someone who was attracted to women. Gay or straight, we all had the same temptations to sin. How did the difference in gender make the temptation to sin any more different?

Why did the church take such a defensive stance against homosexuality yet be relaxed on other issues that the Bible stated as wrong? Most importantly, if being gay was so wrong, why did Jesus never mention it in the Bible? There were just too many questions in my head to continue accepting the churches unfortunately ignorant view of what it meant to be gay. My life was no more different than any other Christian. The only thing that set me apart was that my partner was a male, not a female.

This is the mindset that I have had to adopt in place of what I once believed.

“I am Gods creation. I am not a mistake, or fluke of nature. Every part of who I am is God’s design.”

By finally accepting my sexuality, I have been able to start growing honestly into the man God is shaping me to be. I am no longer living a lie, I am being true to myself. I believe that the church has got it all wrong when it comes to its prehistoric and outdated view of homosexuality.

More and more people in the church are coming out of the wood work, no longer able to continue a way of life that the church has said is their only way to heaven. I believe there is something amazing on the horizon and just thinking about it gets me so excited! I believe there is going to be a revival that is going to knock the “traditional church” off its feet. Our generation is so sick and tired of religion. We all want something real. Our generation is so hungry for the REAL Jesus. The Jesus that sat down with the prostitutes and tax collectors. The Jesus that loved unconditionally, not the religion and endless doctrines and theologies of the church today.

I get so excited because the gay Christians today are in such an awesome position to spark a wave of change in the Church. We are the pioneers of this age, blazing the trails into a new era of change. I believe that finally being true to myself has strengthened God’s call on my life, not hindered it. Nothing is going to change until somebody stands up. My hope is that in 10 years from now, the conversations that we are having, the stories that are being told on this forum, won’t be so common. That there will be more understanding and acceptance in the church for people who are gay. That love will prevail over homophobia, and we can finally move on sharing the good news of Christ to every person, accepting them and loving them for person God made them to be. Freedom! To! Be!

Heya 4JC, my name is Isobel and I think I might be the youngest person here… 15! But sometimes I’ve felt so old, like my time has come too early and that all is hopeless. Youth is a state of mind.

Trust in your own knowledge of life and God (if you wish), not that of the church. They used to condone slavery, racism and the mistreatment of women- soon they will see the light on our situation too.