average age

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Joined in 2007
December 30, 2007, 23:11

Is someone familier with this feeling . When I want to choose for my homosexual I have fear. More when I just hide it again I feel more peace about it. But after a time I’m dealing again with my desires. I always understand it like God saying that it is not his will. Because this is such a unrest feeling its bordering me, can or its like a heave stone in my stomach? Its most that I most believe that its not Gods way for me. Thats maybe also the way where I can find piece. But I can not fight against it anymore. I don’t have a good feeling formyself about it. I don’t feel straight.

Joined in 2006
December 30, 2007, 23:21

Hi 4JC, I think you nailed your problem on the head in your first sentence, “fear”. You know you arent straight but because of fear if you allow yourself accept your homosexuality you loose your peace. I do know the feeling, I was always afraid that God would hate me and all but one day I just said to him “Lord I am Homosexual, I will admit it to you, anyone that came to you no matter how they were you didnt turn them away, I have never read once anywhere that you did that, so here I am as me help me see that you love me” and you know what it took a little while but I came to see he loved me as I was, I took that chance and have never looked back and my r/ship with him is so much more open and honest, I remember his promises of love and mercy and what Jesus did and all he says…………I hope it helps some, i will be praying for you x

Jesus never used fear to correct anyone, he always guides with love and peace, if you feel fear its i guess i would say from all we have ever been taught and been hammered with, its coming from us not God. It takes time to overcome that fear, dont be too hard on yourself.

Joined in 2007
December 30, 2007, 23:31

Like fear is not from God, now I deal with fear. I feel a deep root of fear into my soul over this situation. Is fear stopping me and fear is more like a hand that tries to grip your thought. Like fear comes from the devil its not from God its one of the things that sin is in the world. And fear tried to take Jesus in the garden. My God is a god of love an grace and there is no fear or dankness in him.

Joined in 2006
December 30, 2007, 23:45

Thats right, there is no fear or darkness in him, he loves you and there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. Jesus didnt come to condemn the world full stop but to save it and he shows us how to live. He says nought about being homosexual.

Joined in 2007
April 20, 2008, 23:08


Time by time I come to this forum to read testimonies. Yes I do a lot of reading on the internet heard yesterday a testimony on About a guy named steve who attended a big bible college and stayed in the closetm the school is in the south of the states. And on the forum was a guy who posted his letter for his parents and it was inspired me.

Its a journey for me, my heart breaks when I hear that young christians get rejected when they say that they are gay. Its very hard to say to a close friend I don’t know if I can do it.

I tried to change as long as I’m a Christian. But it doesn’t seem that God has changed me. Like I not out that I will do than a relationship. But I feel like this and God healed me from much emotional stuff except this. I want to accept it but I want to go Gods ways to. And now I still believe that God has better things and I have not the possibility to do a public coming out its not allowed where I’m now.

And I know that some people will not except it.

This is also a reaction of the guy from Remix. He will be ex-communicated by the christian networks. So he doesn’t even have a relationship and only told that he is gay and not the only one. But I assume that many more people will take a step to come out as gay person.

Joined in 2008
April 21, 2008, 00:16

Hey 4JC. My name is Justin and I’m 23, I can really relate to your situation as it was EXACTLY what I went through 4/5 years ago

I didn’t want to be gay, I’d grown up in a ‘Christian Bubble’ being told that homosexuality was evil and pretty much the ‘worst sin’ i could commit. I begged God to take it from me as I didn’t want it. But I understand what you mean by saying that when you look at the gay side you want to know what its really like but are too scared and retreat back into your ‘Christian bubble’ thats what I did. I would ‘dip my toe’ in the water, then get scared and run back to church begging and pleading God to heal me.

I came out about a year and a half a go now, and I can truly say it’s the best decision of my life. I agree with AVB, about the difference between the gay scene and the gay community. Glasgow has a very active gay scene and I hate it, it’s just not me. And I do still struggle with linking up my sexuality with my spirituality, but thats why I’m in therapy (not ex-gay hahaha).

I’m at peace now with who I am, and I wouldn’t change my life. I love being gay, and although those four words may sound simple to say, the work that’s gone in to being able to truly mean them is unbelievable.

Feel free to keep posting if you wanna chat

Much Love


Joined in 2008
April 21, 2008, 02:51

Hi 4JC!! Nice to see you post on here again! We haven’t heard from you in a while. 😉

I was reading through this thread and saw a very familiar mindset that I have had to overcome in my own life. That pattern of thinking is this:

“If I choose to accept my sexuality, then I am going against the will of God. Gay surely does not equal God.”

This mind set had a severely damaging impact on me spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, even physically. I resented myself. I was a constant collage of guilt, turmoil, anger, sadness, hate and fear. I went through so much unneeded suffering because I was living in the mindset of which I was brought up in; “you can not be with God and be Gay”. As far as I knew, there was no other truth.

I had to stop and rethink about what I had so blindly accepted as truth in my life. I didn’t turn my back on God or what I believed in, rather I just put everything that I had been taught back on the shelf, took a step back and looked at the whole picture.

It just didn’t make sense to me. If being gay was so abhorrently evil, why didn’t God deliver me from it? I felt no conviction in my spirit for wanting to love and be with just one man. I couldn’t see how me being attracted to men made me any more less of a Christian than someone who was attracted to women. Gay or straight, we all had the same temptations to sin. How did the difference in gender make the temptation to sin any more different?

Why did the church take such a defensive stance against homosexuality yet be relaxed on other issues that the Bible stated as wrong? Most importantly, if being gay was so wrong, why did Jesus never mention it in the Bible? There were just too many questions in my head to continue accepting the churches unfortunately ignorant view of what it meant to be gay. My life was no more different than any other Christian. The only thing that set me apart was that my partner was a male, not a female.

This is the mindset that I have had to adopt in place of what I once believed.

“I am Gods creation. I am not a mistake, or fluke of nature. Every part of who I am is God’s design.”

By finally accepting my sexuality, I have been able to start growing honestly into the man God is shaping me to be. I am no longer living a lie, I am being true to myself. I believe that the church has got it all wrong when it comes to its prehistoric and outdated view of homosexuality.

More and more people in the church are coming out of the wood work, no longer able to continue a way of life that the church has said is their only way to heaven. I believe there is something amazing on the horizon and just thinking about it gets me so excited! I believe there is going to be a revival that is going to knock the “traditional church” off its feet. Our generation is so sick and tired of religion. We all want something real. Our generation is so hungry for the REAL Jesus. The Jesus that sat down with the prostitutes and tax collectors. The Jesus that loved unconditionally, not the religion and endless doctrines and theologies of the church today.

I get so excited because the gay Christians today are in such an awesome position to spark a wave of change in the Church. We are the pioneers of this age, blazing the trails into a new era of change. I believe that finally being true to myself has strengthened God’s call on my life, not hindered it. Nothing is going to change until somebody stands up. My hope is that in 10 years from now, the conversations that we are having, the stories that are being told on this forum, won’t be so common. That there will be more understanding and acceptance in the church for people who are gay. That love will prevail over homophobia, and we can finally move on sharing the good news of Christ to every person, accepting them and loving them for person God made them to be. Freedom! To! Be!

Joined in 2006
April 21, 2008, 08:14

It would be great to be remembered as being a part of pioneering history and of the first waves of rainbow revival. Jesus is the Lord, Saviour and Brother of us ALL.

4JC, it is great to be hearing from you again 😀 Everything takes time and their is no rush, many years in some cases and much has gone on before anyone of us was comfortable with coming out, I reckon you are doing really well, I honestly do, even if at times you may not feel it, we are here for you all the way and awesome you are finding encouragement and inspiration.

Joined in 2008
August 11, 2008, 07:56

Heya 4JC, my name is Isobel and I think I might be the youngest person here… 15! But sometimes I’ve felt so old, like my time has come too early and that all is hopeless. Youth is a state of mind.

I just wanted to tell you something which many people forget when condemning gay people,

John 3:17-18: God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. There is no judgment against anyone who believes in him.

Trust in your own knowledge of life and God (if you wish), not that of the church. They used to condone slavery, racism and the mistreatment of women- soon they will see the light on our situation too.

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
August 11, 2008, 20:39

thanks for lowering our average age Isobel.

yes you are probably beyond your years…..a bit of an old soul as they say.

one of the things people often refer to re past lives or reincarnation……you meet someone who definitely thinks and behaves like people who are much older.

its not such a bad thing……possibly a gift.

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