Hi everyone,

My name is Paul. I live in Brisbane. I’m a new member. I found out about this forum on Rainbow Fish. Anthony suggested I post my story on this forum. I’ve been reading throughout the forum and some of the posts made me feel very sad. Be the Lord your support and God bless you all. Reading the stories made me realise I’m not alone in my struggle. My story is relatively a lucky one. So hopefully it won’t add to the sadness too much.

I grew up in a remote area. I had a happy childhood in a loving family, although I remembered being already confused about my sexual orientation at an early age already. When I became a teenager I felt very depressed about my condition. I tried to find support in Christianism – I’m from a family with a Catholic background and I went to a Catholic school. Sometimes I praid to God to make me normal. I was very lonely in my small community. Being the only gay in the village doesn’t get you anywhere really. So I gradually lost faith.

At the age of 18 I had the opportunity to go to uni. I moved to a big city. It opened a whole new world to me. I met people like me – not Christian though. It made me feel less alone. I was still living a straight life because of the pressure from home. I went on a quest to find a wife. It was a mess. At some stage, it was very close, but I realised it would hurt someone, so I stopped there. I felt very depressed. Close to killing myself really. Christians friends saved me and gave me hope. I didn’t tell them. I just met amazing Christian friends that were like role models to me. So I became a believer again.

It wasn’t very strong though. I was still going to a Catholic church. One day a friend took me to a Baptist church. I liked it. It gave me more understanding about my faith. More focus. Being gay and a Christian is challenging your faith everyday. I tried to find some answers. I searched the internet and found some harsh websites about homosexuality and the Bible. I also found you guys. Christian and gay. How is that possible? I wouldn’t have expected to find so many around. this was very encouraging. To date I haven’t been lucky trying to look for a gay-friendly church. I hope this is the opportunity to find one. I’m keen to meet new Christian friends. Not necessarily gay. Christian friends that can accept me for what I am.

Paul

Welcome to F2B Paul 😀 Theres some info about a mcc church in Brisbane in the whats on section. 😉

Thank you all for your support and warm welcome. I went to MCC Brisbane last Sunday.

I apologize if I offended anyone by writing “I praid to God to make me normal”. I agree with Anthony. I didn’t want to offend anyone by writing that. This was just how I felt when I was growing up as a child. Now I think differently.

Paul

Nope no offence Paul at all…..I used to pray for that too once but that was a long time ago, my perception of what I believed normal to be and the world in general to be is quite different now.