Hi,

I live in new zealand, I came out to two close friends early this year, they are christians and their response have been very supportive, I told them my full story through email from the day I realized that I was gay, my pain, my very long struggle of not being able to accept who I was. Both of them felt sympathetic after they read my story.

I left my old church early this march after attending a charismatic church in the last 5 years, and I now attend a gay affirming church. But things have gotten complicated because I developed a close friendship with 3 friends in my old church and I can't easily just cut off the friendship because I still see them occasionally. None of them knows that I attend a gay affirming church now because I didn't disclose to anyone when I left the church. Some people from the church asked me why I left, I just told them that I had personal reasons and I don't feel comfortable to share with.

I feel compelled to be honest to my 3 close friends from the old church to disclose the reason behind why I left the church, but I'm afraid that they will start lecturing me instead of giving me support and acceptance. Especially, since my old church is a charismatic church, most charismatic churches are very conservative about lgbt issue. I remember my ex- pastor preaching that new zealand has become a very unchristian nation by legalizing gay marriage from once being a very christian nation. It wasn't strange for me to hear anti gay comments in a charismatic church.

Then, one of my three close friends in the church messaged me on my birthday this april. She sent me a birth wish and also encouraged me to find a girl because she felt it was time for me to find a girlfriend, then I told her that it's not going to happen. She asked me why, and I texted her back by saying that there were things that I was afraid, she would not understand. She called me on my mobile and she said she would understand whatever it was and she assured me that I could tell her anytime when I felt ready.

I'm worried that she might not think what she thinks I've been keeping from her. She once shared to me that she had a friend who came out to her as a lesbian but it didn't bother her because her friend wasn't a christian. I consider her as a conservative christian because she is one of the leaders in my old church. Does anyone have any advise?

Thanks

Ricky