Hi there,

I was just wondering if people had any stories/ideas of coming out to those in their church community? I'm part of a few Christian communities and would like to come out to my church now as I am in a committed relationship and feel uncomfortable about not being open about my sexuality in church circles. Here in Tasmania I would like to start speaking up when the Christians around me are talking prejudice (which is quite often) and I would like to be more vocal in support of marriage equality and gay pride. I don't know what the rumour mill's like where you are but in Tassie it's very strong especially in the Christian community, I would like my church family to hear about my relationship from me not someone else I just don't know how to go about it in a helpful way I am part of an Anglican Church and there is much ignorance and prejudice around sexuality here.

Hi Femmenaliss

I agree with Eric Lee's comment about the importance of taking care of yourself. Anthony Venn-Brown (founder of freedom2b) has said that there are high risk and low risk people in terms of their responses and the effect of those on us that are worth considering prior to coming out. High risk people are those who are likely to respond negatively to your being gay and whose opinions are perhaps important (although not always) and would therefore be particularly hurtful. They are deemed to be high risk by the way they indicate their prejudice through damaging words, attitudes, actions and body language. Low risk people are those who by their actions and words indicate that they are likely to be accepting of your news. When the topic of homosexuality comes up, they might take a positive or compassionate view. Look out for the cues. It is often easier to come out to low risk people first because it builds confidence and support to cope with any negative responses that may arise. Coming out is often a challenging process so it is important to build yourself up and be as strong as you can. Having positive people around who accept you as you are is an important part of that.

Blessings,

Ann Maree

Hi again femminallis

Yes wanting to be loved for who you are and free to be yourself, especially with those whom you value, is normal and something to aspire to.

You don't have to come out to everyone all at once although some people find that works best for them. Do you have an idea of how you might come out, to which people and in what circumstances?

Blessings,

Ann Maree

I came out gradually, first to a friend who I thought would be accepting, and she was. This then gave me confidence to share my news with a couple more friends, one by one. Each were accepting which strengthened me. I then came out to some work mates, a very safe choice given the workplace was very LGBTI oriented and accepting. This was also positive. My sister and another friend were next to be told and my parents last of my immediate family and close others group. And then when I moved work places, I came out to some work mates as relevant to me. They have all been positive in their responses and there are some I have deliberately not told because I suspected they would not be accepting and we have moved away from each other so they don't need to know.

Blessings,

Ann Maree