Feeling like Pendulum

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Joined in 2011
September 17, 2011, 22:55

Er, I guess I’m struggling with the whole rhetoric around this issue. There are so many voices all saying different things. I want so much for it to be okay to be in relationship…but I’m just not sure. I agree 100% that we shouldnt have to hide who we are, we should be okay with saying we are gay and should be accepted in light of this. But, I’m just not sure same-sex sexual relations are condoned in the bible. I know the Bible doesnt talk specifically and explicity about homosexuality and orientation, but it does seem to condemn the activity…just as much as it condems hetro activity outside of marriage…but I dunno. It just seems different.

What about the whole marriage relfecting Christ’s love for the church and visa versa? Are we just picking and choosing what the believe? Should we be living a life of celibacy in order to honour God (not earn his acceptance, but honour HIS ruling on life?).

Gah! Going a bit crazy and feeling like a pendulum!


Joined in 2011
September 17, 2011, 22:55

Btw, sorry if I’m posting a bit much on the forum…

Mr Summit
Chapter Leader
Joined in 2010
September 18, 2011, 11:25

Hi Thingymabobie,

Relax a little. 🙂 Resolving your sexuality and faith is stress-full. I’ve been there. When I studied the issue I mentally accepted it long before it actually felt ok. I remember praying “God, I think being gay is ok. But if It’s not I really need you to tell me.” I was afraid of believing what I wanted to believe instead of believing what was true. I talk a little bit about that as part of an essay I wrote on my journey through all this (

Just remember that you don’t need to have this all figured out in time for a pop-quiz tomorrow. If you are stressing out, take a deep breath, and slow down.

As for the church being Christ’s bride, I don’t see how the analogy talks about sexuality at all, or how gay marriage threatens the analogy. Yes, it’s an *analogy* used to explain a specific idea. One of the dangers with analogies and parables is to read to much into them, or get them mixed.

Another common logical mistake is to take one example of something and assume that everything must fit that example. So Paul may have described the relationship of the church to Christ as being like a bride and groom, but does that mean we can’t look at it any other way? Did Paul prohibit it? What about Christ being the head and we being the body. Does this idea threaten the former analogy of the church being Christ’s bride? A groom can’t marry his own body…

I think the analogy is totally inconsequential, and what actually matters is the relationship it is trying to describe.

Hope that helps.

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
September 18, 2011, 23:37

Hi Thingymabobie

I agree wholeheartedly with Mr Summit’s comments. Very wise, Mr Summit.

Thingymabobie, your doubts and description of being on a pendulum are par for the course that avb describes in his stages toward acceptance and celebration of sexuality. Integration of two complex areas such as sexuality and faith, with a church background against homosexuality, is not a ‘straight’ forward journey (pardon the pun). It will be a step forward then a few back while you doubt yourself and everything else completely until you find some truth that eventually fits. We live in an instant society but in contrast this process is not instant. As avb has previously said, for him it took decades. For myself I went through 2 year phases and all up it took about 6 years to be completely comfortable with my sexuality and faith. But then my faith continued to evolve and it took a while after that until I was comfortable with who I am in my beliefs today. For many here, including yourself, you have the advantage of the support of f2b and other agencies. This quickens and eases the journey but can’t make it instant. Having supports helps immensely but the work of integration still has to be done, and as Mr Summit said, it takes time.

So take a breath and know all is well.. You are OK and will reach a point of really knowing that deep within yourself. 🙂


Ann Maree

Joined in 2011
September 19, 2011, 01:10

Dear All,

Thankyou for speaking some sense to my slight neurosis. Lol.

I tend to think to much and get myself into knots. Thankyou both for listening to my rant and supporting me. I appreciate it.

Mr Summit, I love your blog and the various links! Keep up the good work.

Joined in 2011
September 19, 2011, 13:15

I tend to think to much and get myself into knots.


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