Feeling relieved/Brisbane?

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Joined in 2014
July 23, 2014, 16:35

Two separate reasons for posting today:

I read about a week ago about Carly and Tresne from MKR getting married in NZ

I was so happy for them and I really appreciate having them out in the public eye to look to because I have been feeling like I don't fit into the typical "lesbian" stereotype (which really is silly because since when are stereotypes completely accurate of an entire group of people?!)

Almost all lesbian couples I meet, there's at least one, if not both that are "butch" – doesn't wear dresses or skirts, hates heels and makeup and women's fashion, would rather watch sports than reality tv etc.

And I feel rather, well, disheartened because that's the opposite of me. I'm very "girly". I love cute dresses and heels and twirly skirts and going shopping. I love being girly.

And I find that attractive in other girls if that makes sense. Im not really looking for a butch partner. If I end up falling in love with one, then I guess that's the way things go but it's not what I would imagine. But it is what the world imagines. They are still stuck on the concept of one being the "woman" and one being the "man" in the relationship. I think that's wrong.

I am so glad that Carly and Tresne are showing people that it doesn't have to be that way.

Onto my other point. I tried to contact people from the Brisbane chapter of f2b using the form on the contact page, but haven't had a response. I'm very apprehensive to attend any meetings etc in "real life" because I am ridiculously shy and uncomfortable with unfamiliar people and places, so I thought I'd get to know some of the chapter leaders on here first just so I'm more comfortable if I decide to attend a meeting.

Anyone know how else to contact them?

Joined in 2009
July 24, 2014, 07:33

It's great when people break down stereotypes. I guess stereotyping like that is just something that occurs when people learn about another minority without really digging deeper. When "the world imagines" such things their imagination is limited to what they know and expect, for the most part. It's simply ignorance – and not even the bad kind, really. People just don't know what they don't know, and may never be given reason to think about it. Thankfully, having a diverse media culture means we get people like Carly and Tresne on high-rating TV shows, and that reflects an ever-more accepting (and less ignorant) society. It's a big win.

As for Brisbane, I've just sent you a PM about their contact details, so you don't have to use the contact form if it's not working for you. Works for me though.

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
July 28, 2014, 15:10

Hi charlietheunicorn

Yes it's good to see all types of people represented in society and the media.

Hopefully, you have made contact with the Brisbane group by now?


Ann Maree

Joined in 2011
August 4, 2014, 12:20

Hi Charlietheunicorn,

Within the lesbian community there is great diversity- women who look and act butch and others who are very feminine. I think sometimes we try to act as if one partner is more masculine in order to feel like we are fitting into a heterosexual stereotype in society. But the most important thing is to be true to yourself. There is no one right way to be lesbian.

I belong to a choir in Perth- Gay and Lesbian Singers. We are a complete cross section of the community- ages range from early 20's to late 60's- and include both men and women. We include Asian, Africans and other migrants too. The lesbian members are very different- a few look butch, but most you would never pick as lesbian. Some are in long term committed relationships, and others are not. At least two are mothers on young babies- who usually come with them to rehearsal- and several are mothers of older children from previous marriages. We have a mother and son in the choir- she is a lesbian in her 40's and he is gay and in his 20's. The women work in a variety of jobs- teachers, social workers, administration, geology, nursing, shop assistants, waitresses, police force, doctor, physiotherapist, university lecturer, unemployed and retired. Some have been out as lesbians for years, and others have only recently come out- including a number of the older women who have been previously married.

There really is no stereotype- so you can just be yourself!


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