How to help my gay/lesbian Christian friends who are being told they are wrong from the church?

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Joined in 2011
August 11, 2011, 00:01


As the title says, I have some Christian friends who are being currently told and they are convinced that being gay/lesbian is evil/bad/wrong. For all of them this is very strong. They are involved in Pentecostal and charismatic communities, so there is a big emphasis on praying against the evil and “satan” attacking them. They’ve fasted, prayed, and I’m sure many more things to make them straight. I am now feeling free and they are continuing to be hurt, it’s just not right, and what if all they need is the Christian friend like I had to say maybe it’s okay!

The problem with one particular friend is:

a. It has been from a mutual very close friend who told me our other friend is having lesbian thoughts, and how evil is Satan to do this to her. I was so shocked at how much she was against it I didn’t make any rebuttals, I said nothing. I thought it was futile. I still am very scared that this friend will launch a Christian fixing attack on me, as well as this friend, as she has pastors and leaders who will support her and come after us. And I really don’t want to be come after personally, or shut out and lose these people.

I don’t live in the same town or state as my friends anymore, but we are still friends. We are about to meet up and I don’t think I can resist telling my lesbian-denying friend that she can be free. I am hoping that I can speak to her without her telling my other friend, but I am afraid she in convinced that she will think the devil will be using me to attack her.

Timing is another thing. Do I tell her at the start or end of our international trip? Our other friend is coming along too, plus some others and it’s a trip that includes going to a Christian conference.

Another close friend who is also in a similar situation, although he is a close family friend to my husbands family.

I guess I’m just having the whinge of how to secretly come out with my thoughts and who I am. #slightlyashamed

I’m praying I’ll be bold, brave and my passion for freedom for them is the right attitude and God can work through me.


Joined in 2010
August 11, 2011, 09:23

Querido Emma,

As I always say: the Word is your greatest defense.

You may also want to consider giving the DVD “For the Bible tells me so” a look.

I’m sure this will help you and your friends prepare. Remember: the Lord loves you just as you are. Just as he made you.

Yours in Christ,


Youth Coordinator
Joined in 2008
August 11, 2011, 14:42


There are a number of different ways you could help your friends and others but I think the greatest thing is to just be yourself. To speak up when you hear discrimation and to fight injustice.

If you wanted to come along to a freedom2b chapter meeting, I’m sure that would help and you are already helping just by being on this forum.

A few helpful resources are:

– ‘For the Bible Tells Me So’ DVD

– ‘Love is an Orientation’ by Andrew Marin (Book)

– ‘Prayers for Bobby’ DVD

Hope this helped a little. 🙂

Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
August 11, 2011, 18:19

Hi gunsandhorses

I like the suggestions given by others so far.

You and your friends might also be interested to know that there are a group of pastors and ministers known as 100 Revs who march each year in the Sydney mardi gras. They march to express their love and acceptance of the LGBTI community and to aplogise for the church’s appalling behaviours and rejection toward those who are LGBTI. I love that they do that. I also was deeply touched by the following radio interview which features 3 of those ministers.

You could have a listen and if you like it, play it for your friends.


Ann Maree

Joined in 2011
August 12, 2011, 02:03

Hi all,

Fantastic tips, thank you.

So I’m getting the consensus that I should help them by saying it’s okay to be gay. I got the courage to tell 2 more of my closest friends about me and ask them what, when, how best to do it. They were very supportive and it gave me a good chat for how to approach them. I think a well placed resource of two will be great, and interview is perfect, I’ll have to listen to that. The first Christian gay resource I found was honestly not a good one and turned me off, so I’m thankful to have found the resource here at F2B.

I’d certainly come to a chapter meeting. I’m on holidays soon so maybe next month. Maybe by then one of my friends will be coming too.

Thanks again for the space to rant on.

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