Ok thanks mobileguy I have read your posts in the Telling Our Stories section and I now have the context of the original quote which explains it better. I guess the title of this thread seemed to have an ultiamtum-like feel to it but then I may be an eternal pessimist. I saw it that if I’d left the church sometime ago then whats stopping me from going back to church cos the church has changed and therefore I should now try it out again kind of thing. I guess I feel that the “whats your problem” bit could have been worded better perhaps. But having said that I dont mean to be picky or narky – maybe its just me that has taken it that way.

Certainly I have come across people from my christian past and had mixed responses, from acceptance of my sexual orientation to rejection of the same over the years. I probably stopped attending like about 10 years ago. I feel like I really dont have much in common with the average believer at church these days. The average pente church isnt where I am at these days. I have thought about it from the pov that I could be someone that makes a difference to these people but going to church is more than that – going to church is some thing I’d do for me not just for other people. I do object to having to be the one who has to be the one who has to change to suit the majority – I have done enough of that as a deaf person. That might sound angry or bitter even but after a lifetime of bending to suit it does take its toll oneself.

I have picked the people I have chosen to be out to. I am certainly dont want to put myself into a position of being in the firing line but I dont want to hide either. By the same token its my business who I am out to – its my sexuality – no-one else s.

I have always tried to be as genial as possible – one lady I came into contact with was fairly insistent that there was only one way to do things and it was the way her church did things and I politely but firmly stood my ground saying that I had a different opinion about that and she ended up respecting this.

This topic makes me realise more acutely of where I am at with it all – the trust factor, where I am at now, what I am looking for and its good to revisit those.

avb, I think the topic question itself is very provokative and quite different to the tone of your quote from mobileguy’s story. And I must admit, I found that a bit confusing. When I posted my responses I had read both sections and figured you might be posing the question from a position of devil’s advocate as if someone from our past might think or ask that question or as if we ourselves might ask that internally. So on the one hand, others might make that enquiry, thus implying that there is something wrong with us ‘non attenders’, or alternatively, this might be our internalised view of their past perspective that we still carry and project when they have in fact changed. Is this what you meant to convey?? I didn’t think you were suggesting we were wrong to not attend but just that it’s good to remember that others may have changed to a more positive or inclusive view.

Yeah, just a bit in ya face!! 😀 Thanks for clarifying and yes, not at all like the rest of the forum, avb.

In terms of an alternative title, maybe something about change, like: “If you left the church some time ago, what’s your current philosophy/position? And do you think it’s possible for the church to have changed?” …mobileguy or others may have better suggestions that are closer to his original thread though. 🙂

Yeah well done, mobileguy. Although strictly not an open-ended question as you can answer yes/no to it, it’s still a good one and that phrasing covers us (whether we still identify as Christian or not), others and church organisations. The nature of the question also lends itself to discussion/exploration rather than a closed answer. 🙂 🙂 And given you were originally talking about people from past churches, then it’s appropriate to use the word, ‘christians’. I like it.