And she’s back. Here goes.

Hi Guys

If it’s OK can I interject? 🙂

There have been some great comments here.

I would just like to add one thing. Hyde, can you ask yourself ahead of time how you will manage if the response is negative (to your coming out)? What supports will there be? Does that person’s opinion matter that much? Who can you talk to etc?

And of course, that leads onto the importance of building up the support network sufficiently so it doesn’t matter what their response is. (as Getting there has said)

Others have the right to respond as they do but you have the right to feel safe and avoid potential abuse where you can.

Thinking of you and wishing you well,

Ann Maree

Hi Guys

If it’s OK can I interject? 🙂

There have been some great comments here.

I would just like to add one thing. Hyde, can you ask yourself ahead of time how you will manage if the response is negative (to your coming out)? What supports will there be? Does that person’s opinion matter that much? Who can you talk to etc?

And of course, that leads onto the importance of building up the support network sufficiently so it doesn’t matter what their response is. (as Getting there has said)

Others have the right to respond as they do but you have the right to feel safe and avoid potential abuse where you can.

Thinking of you and wishing you well,

Ann Maree

Hey, I guess I never really thought about recieving a very negative response from anyone but my family. I fear if I recieved a negative response from someone, I would make sure they knew I was angry, instead of respecting their decision.

The friends I have that are girls are all very embracing, and if I recieved a negative response from one of them, I have one I have already told that I could fall back on. But this brings forth avb’s recommendation of high risk, medium risk, and low risk. I should tell the low risks first, before I even consider telling medium risks, for the sake of friends to fall back on.

I have fewer guy friends than I do girl friends, and I’m pretty sure one of my guy friends is gay. That being said, allow me to clarify I have no feelings for him, we are just friends.

As a result of this assumption, I suspect he would take it well. But I still don’t want to tell him yet.

Whether it was God elminating the opportunity or not, I’m thankful nothing happened on msn last night. I’ve got one more very low risk person I want to tell before I tell anyone else, so I don’t have to come crashing down on one person should I recieve a verbal knife to the chest from someone else.

I’d also come running to this forum if something bad happened. Thanks for helping me through this!

Hi Hyde

Yes the low, medium and high risk concept is excellent as with starting with low when divulging to others. Good one, AVB.

I also think it’s not a race and so agree with 4JC that you take your time.

And remember that expressing anger may not always help either your case or the other person to come around to the idea. (But of course, it all depends on the individual circumstances and how it’s expressed). Think what it might gain you to be angry before you speak/act.

Thinking of you and wishing all the best,

Ann Maree

did I mention also that another principle is……work out before hand how much you plan to disclose to each group……some it might simply be…..I’m gay……others you might share the whole torturous story to.