hey josh……I have been working in this area for over a decade now…..I have some observations here that might be helpful to you.

http://lgbttraining.blogspot.com.au/p/lgbt-people-of-faith.html

Let me know what you think or if you find anything that relates there.

Nice to know you are not alone

yep……I reckon they are the norm for many of us from Christian bagrounds.

Hey Rocketman – great post – but something for you to consider regarding what you said here:

Also I believe he has revealed to me that when we're in a Shepherd Motif, ministering to people, any sexual attractions need to be put on hold for we are representing Christ at that time – not sure if you are involved in any ministry

Paul gives Timothy this advice

Now a bishop must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, dignified, hospitable, an apt teacher, no drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, and no lover of money. He must manage his own household well, keeping his children submissive and respectful in every way; for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how can he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may be puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil; moreover he must be well thought of by outsiders, or he may fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

There some churches that say you shouldnt be in a shepherding position UNLESS you have a family. Why ? As an advisor to parents I make a Great theologian ! (I dont really but you get the point – I dont have kids – what do I know about in a practical sense about raising kids)

Paul was saying that you don't appoint someone who hasnt hasnt been through the same experiences and learnt from lifes lessons to shepherd the flock. And the ministers I admire most are often married (or have been) with children. They have been through lifes crucible and learnt those hard lessions.

Now theres a Caveat here – and that is – if your shpeherding LGBTIQ people – then I think the children have been less important – but being in a LTR is really desirable because otherwise – how can you advise LGBTIQ people on life in a same sex relationship. Even Gays have all these myths about Gays (and LTRs) untill they have been in one for 5 years or so.

Thats why Paul gives this advice.

A long time ago I came across a Youth leader in a BIG church (you would all know it) who was advising youth on life – whilst going out secretly and having sex in toilets – frequently. And we see in the Catholic church what having to put your libido on hold can do. A healthy sex life at home can reduce the chance of these problems AND the fact you can maintain a healthy sex life means you can advise others on it. (I dont mean how to have sex but I mean attitutes and things like buy your Boyfriend flowers or vanilla slices occasionally or what is the correct ration of positive to negative feedback and so on)

There is another reason why its desirable – and that is when you have a spouse – you have support and a check and balance.

When things are tough you have another human being by your side to be with and talk things over with and that can be very useful and helpful. Also when you are too close to an issue and about to make a mistake – its often great to have someone say to you – have you thought about this – or even – I think you should wait till monday before you send that email – or even – you need to go and talk to your friend Pastor z and see what he thinks before you decide. (you know – the times when you forget to listen to got so he speaks through your partner instead which saves him having to use thunder and lightening to get your attention – partners usually know how to get your attentions without laying waste to entire cities – Joke !!! ).

You DO need to follow your conscience first – and Im not saying IF you are not in a relationship or dont have children you cant serve God or cant be a GREAT Shepherd. PAUL says some of us will be called to that. What I am saying is PLEASE dont think that by avoiding sexual attraction (within the bounds of your conscience such as in a monogamous Long term relationship) you will be a better shepherd because I don't think that's so in fact I think its the reverse – those who have had relationships (including having Sex) can (in general) make the better shepherds.

I would love to hear from some the Pastors/Ministers etc who read this forum as to their opinion on this point.