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Its me, 38, Lesbian, ex-christian school teacher, still working it all out.

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Ciar
 
Joined in 2009
February 1, 2011, 18:16

Hi,


I’ve been ‘lurking’ on the forum for sometime now. My girlfriend keeps asking when Im going to put my story up, so here goes….


Im Gay.


I have known this since I was 14, but have only just had the courage to start acknowledging it in the past 6/7 years. I could never understand how God didn’t love me if I never chose to be gay in the first place. It took me a long time to realize that what I thought (was told) wasn’t so. I love how AVB puts it “I didn’t choose my orientation, but I can choose my morality.”


I’ve done all the usual things people do to hide in a social group they don’t feel like they would be accepted into if people knew the ‘real you’, like marriage. This has since dissolved, which caused a major dilemma for myself because the boundaries I use to hide behind, had disappeared.


I came out to my family about a year ago. My siblings took it well. In fact, my sister commented that it wasn’t really a surprise. My parents (who are ministers in a church) on the other hand, didn’t take it well at all. They told me I was an abomination and already standing at hells gates, along with a lot of other really hurtful things. They have only just started to talk to me a little, although you can hear the clenched teeth.


The end of last year I also resigned from my position at a Christian school. I loved it there but like other stories on this forum, it isn’t the place to be if you are ‘coming out’ and I didn’t feel strong enough to be the ambassador for others. My resignation was also my timeline to start coming out to the ministers at my church and my close friends, although I must admit, I haven’t done this yet (I think the experience I had with my parents only confirmed all the horror stories of how bad it can be.)


I have a loving girlfriend, who is out, who I have to thank for standing beside me and being an encouragement, even when I feel low or am chicken. I am still convinced that God is who he said he is and he loves me, regardless of what some others may think.


Cheers 8)



Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
February 1, 2011, 19:59

Hey Ciar


Great to hear from you after all this time! Thanks for having the courage to share some of your story with us. And thanks also to your GF for encouraging you to do so 🙂 🙂 🙂


Like you, I too am convinced that God is a loving being who has no problems whatsoever with our sexual orientations. If God excluded us like some people do, how would that be loving? And if God excluded us on this point of difference, I don’t believe that would be scriptural. I mean even in the OT there are beautiful ‘understories’ of those on the outer being shown mercy and exception to the rules of society. If God didn’t at least live up to those stories or if he/she was conditional in terms of showing love, I wouldn’t want to believe.. would you?


Anyway, thanks again for making yourself known to us. You are very welcome here and I hope we hear more from you. 🙂


Blessings,


Ann Maree



Boi70
 
Joined in 2007
February 3, 2011, 22:13

Hi Ciar,


Thanks for telling your story here and it is great that your gf encouraged you to tell it too. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship! 🙂

It is also fantastic that you have had your gf supporting you as you came out to your parents – and thank God for siblings who are so understanding, and of course, the ones who are “so not surprised” when we tell them that we are gay. 🙂


Anyway, let’s hope that with time your parents will come around to understanding and accepting all that you are…. (and not grit their teeth). 😉


So many here, including myself, can truly understand how each step, even if they are a combination of little and big steps, count towards to being and expressing who we truly are. 🙂


Cheers,



Ciar
 
Joined in 2009
February 4, 2011, 12:32

Ann Marie and Jason,


thankyou so much for your welcome here. I am very fortunate to have an awesome GF to stand by me and my sister who is great.


Thankyou for the time you put into making new people feel welcome. I know when this site was first suggested to me, it was a hugh sigh of relief that ‘there are other people out there just like me.’ Like a lot of people, our whole life so far has been spent in secrecy. At the back of my mind I knew there were other people struggling just like me, I just didnt know where to find them.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
February 4, 2011, 15:08

welcome Ciar…….we just love it when lurkers come out ……hehe.


wonderful that you have such a supportive partner……is she from a faith background as well.



Ciar
 
Joined in 2009
February 4, 2011, 16:19

Hi AVB,


no, she isnt from a faith background. However, when we were in Sydney, she came with me to a freedom to be event and has regularly come to church with me. She realizes how important it is too me, and is…trying to understand. 🙂



RaulG
 
Joined in 2010
February 4, 2011, 16:23

Querido Ciar,


You wrote:




“I am still convinced that God is who he said he is and he loves me, regardless of what some others may think. “


What do the words of mortal men and women mean compared to the eternal word of God? What do the misinterpretations of a few of our misguided brethren mean compared to a single, perfect sacrifice, the sign of eternal love being stretched out , broken and butchered upon a piece of wood, which was made for all souls from now until eternity passes away?


You are correct in your convictions because God loves you not in spite of your orientation, but rather, he loves you completely because your orientation is part of his design for you. Your orientation is a sign of love from the Creator.


Welcome home, Cial. I hope you enjoy it here!


Yours in Christ,


Raul



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
February 4, 2011, 16:49

Hi AVB,


no, she isnt from a faith background. However, when we were in Sydney, she came with me to a freedom to be event and has regularly come to church with me. She realizes how important it is too me, and is…trying to understand. 🙂


Bless her……it can often be difficult for people not from our background to get ‘it’. its like a foreign language and culture.



Ciar
 
Joined in 2009
February 4, 2011, 16:59

😀 😀 😀

Bless her……it can often be difficult for people not from our background to get ‘it’. its like a foreign language and culture.


If she was reading this right now, I could hear her shouting in agreement. I am indeed a very blessed person to have her in my life.



Ciar
 
Joined in 2009
February 4, 2011, 17:03

Dear Raul,


I love the depths of your insights, not only here but in other threads I have read.


Thankyou.


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