When I decided I was not going to change my “gay” ways. My pastor and ex-gay living waters program running friend, told eveyone I beat Elizabeth up, that I was an abuser, that my friends couldnt talk to me. He told other pastors.

One Pastor wrote a letter to the entire denomination telling them I was evil, and to curse me etc. I went to a church conference because Elizabeth’s family started the denimination, and she was involved, and people spat on me and swore at me as I walked past. People said horrible horrible things to me.

My best friend covered my ENTIRE house in posters, every inch of wall, telling I am the devil’s child, I am going to hell, that the devil’s own me, blah blah blah.

I was kicked out of my church.

My family disowned me and told me I was an abuser, that I would destroy my children’s lives and that I was a child abuser, That I beat Elizabeth up and they knew about it (from the wonderful pastor of my old church),

I lost my ministry, which included my “pastoral” role.

I lost all my friends, including best friends and people I had known for over 15 years-20 years.

It is not an easy process. These programs damage people and for that they will be held accountable, but for them I just feel sad. They want acceptance and normality so bad they deny themselves. I believe in Karma, and I believe they have alot that will catch up with them.

Do you know Anthony. The people in this church are beautiful people who got it and still get it totally wrong. I dont begrudge them. I feel sad for them, that they are missing out. I love them. I show them grace for afar now is all. Members of my family are still entrenched with them (My youngest sister). I’m actually considering visiting in the next few weeks. They are my friends on facebook. I dont let them treat me like that, and I dont let them do it to others, but they are still God’s children. By pushing them away and being awful in return, I become them, and I will not do that. I just have clearer boundaries now. They know that I tell people what they did. But, I know they love me and I love them. Their own terrible insecurities flare up alot.

In the end, it was a cultish church.. the denomination is just messed up, not a cult, like my church was. Ahhh… foursquare…

I still tell my story because it is real. Not for others to judge my church, but to know how real our experiences are. And, that we CAN and DO rise above it. And that our christian experiences are real. Because if they werent why would I stay in a religion that has people do that in its name.

yep Frogger…..the enemy we face is not individuals like Fred Nile or Peter Stokes (although they may see me as the enemy) or denominations or churches……the enemy is ignorance.

it is my belief that one of the reasons the Pentecostal world here in Australia will change there position on homosexuality is that I know them to be good people…with good hearts and who believe they are doing the right thing.

Telling our stories is an important part of deconstructing the myths about gay men, lesbians, our morality and relationships.