Queer

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Ash

Joined in 2012

July 11, 2012, 14:21

Just a very quick, and non religion related rant…

I know that the word 'queer' is used quite commonly through the LGBTI community (and wider community in general)… but it has never sat well with me.

This is the definition of 'Queer':

queer

[kweer] Show IPA adjective, queer·er, queer·est, verb, noun

adjective

1. strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice.

2. of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away.

3.not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.

4. mentally unbalanced or deranged.

5. Slang: Disparaging and Offensive .

a. homosexual.

b. effeminate; unmanly.

I've never understood why people put this title upon us/themselves. It really frustrates me when people use 'queer' to describe me (even though it has never been used in a purposeful derogative way towards me).

ShadowBoxer
Moderator
Joined in 2005

July 12, 2012, 12:00

It's a pejorative term that Gays decided to take ownership of to remove the hurt from

So its used AS an insult by people and so some gays decided that rather accept it as an insult – they would turn it into a badge of honour.

I think to understand these things you need to know how much society has changed. It's a complex thing to answer and there are probably other equally good explanations to answer your question – but I hope this helps

One thing you will notice with workshops with Gay men is that the older they are – (on average) the more violent the experiences they have had.

If you sit in a workshop with large number of older (out) Gay men – it will be common to hear stories of them being beaten by their fathers and run out of town. As homosexuality has become more accepted – the stories turn to more verbal abuse or discrimination – to now – with many young people – its not an issue any more.

So the younger people can find it hard to understand the mindset of people that were beaten – sometimes nearly killed by friends / family members.

The hurt and anger of this "betrayal" etc is one reason why some Gays are sometimes perceived to be so militant.

It's also why sometimes – decisions to claim words like QUEER – to remove the hurt and insult is made.

Whilst it might not sit well with you – I think its worth being understanding of those for whom they need to do this to survive the pain of their lives.

A great book that might help touch on these things is the velvet rage. I think it should be mandatory reading for all Gay men.

Let me know if you want more information. Comments are appreciated !

Ann Maree

Joined in 2008

July 12, 2012, 15:45

Thanks Shadow Boxer. Turning a negative into a positive is very empowering and that's the idea behind this. As you mentioned, it also applies to some racist or other terms, spoken positively by those the slurs are aimed at.

I can understand you not being comfortable with the word, 'queer', Ash. It's not one that I favour either but good to remember what's behind that word or any we use or hear others using.

Blessings,

Ann Maree

Ash

Joined in 2012

July 12, 2012, 18:19

Thanks guys. You make a good point ShadowBoxer.

I am actually aware of the physical abuse that gay men endured before in the earlier decades, but didn't realise that this is part of the reason for taking on the word queer.

I still don't think it's a word I would ever use to describe anyone, but I respect what it means to a lot people. 🙂

My girlfriend and I had an experience where a group of young men decided to start on us in a shopping carpark because we were holding hands… luckily we got away without any physical harm… but it was very scary… I can't imagine what it would have been like in the 80s and earlier.

ShadowBoxer
Moderator
Joined in 2005

July 12, 2012, 19:13

Its actually not a word I use myself either as I dont count those experience in my past… again – just my opinion and I welcome discussion

but a lesson that people like Margaret Court has forgotten is that when you are asking for understanding and tolerance – you need to show understanding and tolerance to others.

So for example – women were denied legal rights for a long time – not allowed to own property (in some cultures) or to vote or to say no to sex.

They still arent equal (the glass ceiling) and cant be ministers in may churches (and so many would consider here a heretic for being a woman pastor) – and yet woman who attack Gays for being different are doing EXACTLY what men did (and do) to women and the fact they can speak their mind is purely thanks to CHANGE which they now resist for LGBTIQ people.

The reason I mention it is such groups sometimes (historically) then fight to deny others the changes they fought for (for complex reasons) which is what we see with people LIKE Margaret Court (who perhaps may subconsciously think that by targeting us – she will become MORE acceptable to those who dont accept her. Using the enemy of your enemy principle to make allies of those who hate gays and women in the church and it behooves us NOT to fall into that trap (for I think thats neither moral nor christian behavior) and to remember to show tolerance for those who may walk a path we dont – Bisexuals, Intersexed and Transexuals as we have asked others to show tolerance to us.

RQC

Joined in 2012

July 29, 2012, 11:21

My blog is called "ROTTENQUEERCHRISTIAN." I go by the word meaning in this light:

"An umbrella term to refer to all LGBTIQ people.

A political statement, as well as a sexual orientation, which advocates breaking binary thinking and seeing both sexual orientation and gender identity as potentially fluid.

A simple label to explain a complex set of sexual behaviors and desires. For example, a person who is attracted to multiple genders may identify as queer."

Personally the word "gay" doesn't do anything for me, too soft and mushy.

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