Hi all,

You may remember hearing about the suicide of Tyler Clementi back in 2010. Tyler and his parents were Christians and an article was released today which said that his parents have left their church over their anti-gay stance. Tyler's mother Jane told the New York Times “At this point I think Jesus is more about reconciliation and love".

It's also sad to read that Tyler didn't believe it was possible to reconcile his faith and sexuality. The article says "Tyler had reportedly said to his parents that he did not think it was possible to be Christian and gay".

I hope this reminds us all that we need to continue to tell our stories and let all people know that it is possible to be gay and Christian and that there is hope. We also need to continue to work with churches and encourage them to create welcoming environments for LGBTI people. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT!!

You can read the article here: http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2012/08/27/parents-of-suicide-teenager-leave-church-over-anti-gay-teachings/

Ben

There's a blog I've taken to reading recently called Get Religion which is about the poor coverage religious issues usually get in the media. This post about Tyler Clementi was really interesting to me: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/getreligion/2012/08/guilt-grief-and-god-a-gay-sons-suicide/

Before reading the post I had thought the Clementi's former church was running a reparative therapy ministry or something along those lines, but when someone actually bothered to ask the pastor himself…

Rob Minor, senior pastor for Grace Church, said on Monday (Aug. 27) that his church teaches that “God’s ideal” is sexual abstinence before marriage, and monogamous heterosexual marriages. “But we also understand that we live in a world where everyone is striving to reach God’s ideal,” Minor said. Minor said he and an associate pastor relayed that message to Jane Clementi before she left the church.

“We love Jane and Joe and Jimmy and the rest of the family very much, and we respect their decision,” Minor said.

Minor added that the church does not “bash” or “judge” people, nor does it make homosexuality a priority issue.

“The fact is at least in the six years I’ve been here, I never preached on it, never talked on it,” Minor said. “It’s just not been an issue for us.”

So it sounds like the Clementi's church is a lot like the one I come from. I was a bit uncomfortable with with the way the Clementi's former church was being portrayed by the media, but also wasn't sure they were totally in the clear. I opened it up to Twitter. One of my followers on there put it really well:

If the church did something wrong it was not being there for a brother, not bigotry. Both issues, but very different.

I think this is the point we need to be challenging our churches on more than anything else. No matter where you stand theologically on same-sex relationships, it's clear the Church has failed to be there for people who are struggling, and the veil of silence about LGBT people in church can have terrible consequences. I'm not (necessarily) suggesting we all have to be on the same page when it comes to accepting same-sex relationships (although that would be nice), but what if it had been made clear in Tyler's church that everyone was able to be there, loved and valued just how they are? The "religious bigot" narrative is easy for media outlets to sell, but it's actually more complicated than that: you don't have to be a bigot to cause harm.