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Showing LOVE & GRACE to those in the gay community

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HillsBen
Youth Coordinator
Joined in 2008
August 8, 2008, 01:30

As some of you are aware, my name is Ben and I am an openly gay Christian male.


As a follower of Jesus Christ I feel called to show love, grace and compassion to everyone, inside and outside the gay community.


Apart from just being ourselves and showing God’s love to everyone we meet, my question to you all is:


How can we best show love, grace, hope and justice to those particularly within the gay community???


ps. keep in mind I am meaning love WITHOUT an agenda. Not really with a gospel push. BUT more just showing people how much they are worth and how they are so important and valued.



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
August 8, 2008, 08:04

One of the biggest areas of acceptance that was and still is so needed in the community, is the fact that we are accepted by the church and as you say without an agenda. Before I was born again, my ex’s close friend who is a Pente Christian hung out with us, it blew me away at the time, she’s a Christian and she cares? she wants to even get to know us on a social level and be friends? THAT spoke volumes to me.


Then when I was (still am 😉 )a full on Christian myself, I went out on the scene with my friends and caught up with girls I hadnt seen in a few yrs or so and they asked how I was etc.. I told them I was a Christian as part of what was going on and it didnt go down well to say the least and they started yelling ” hallelujah praise the Lord” around me lifting their hands 😆 BUT one of them came to me later and said “well I guess this blows my chance of ever having sex with you and us being friends? (interesting order 😆 ) so I said to her ” Just because Im a Christian doesnt mean we cant be friends, I dont have to have sex with you to like you I like and accept you now” she looked like she was about to cry, she was stunned that I could like her because Im a Christian and still want to hang with her I found out later.


So in telling this little story(I have so many 😆 ), my suggestion would be, to just be yourself and “hang” and if its found out youre a Christian, the questions will come(sometimes even a telling off too and being called a hypocrite) but also with some, a resolution that maybe God does love and accept us and the church also via this.


Christian = judgement and rejection to many and to some hypocrisy because “you are on the opposing side and gay so you must be like that too 😯 “………..We just have to be ourselves and let our actions and personality speak volumes.


Just my thoughts 8)



iplantolive
 
Joined in 2008
August 8, 2008, 21:07

I am meaning love WITHOUT an agenda. Not really with a gospel push. BUT more just showing people how much they are worth and how they are so important and valued.


I think this statement really nails it 😆 We need to show love without an agenda or hidden motive. My own experience with a Pente church, consciously or sub-consciously, taught me to (wrongly) view every friend, relative etc as a potential “convert”, when in reality, quite the opposite was true. People often came to check out my former church because they could see you were GENUINE and cared about their needs.



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
August 9, 2008, 07:32

People often came to check out my former church because they could see you were GENUINE and cared about their needs.


How needed is that in EVERY church 🙁 ………the church i recently attended and cant wait to get access to again is like that 😀 , the church I attended previously was all about “numbers” for the kingdom and “building” the church and not much about the people and for sure the view was taught that every person is to be viewed as a potential convert and if they couldnt be the friendship ended or even you as a Christian if you were seen as not fitting a certain criteria then you were ignored or never contacted again or if you happened to attend a different church God forbid 🙄 Personally, I love people, not perfect at it but see people as the ants pants 😉 😳 😆



kay
 
Joined in 2008
August 12, 2008, 12:21

Jesus was genuine and cared about people. He didn’t have an agenda. He reached out people where they were at and demonstrated unconditional love. He accepted them. This is our example to follow and I find it a constant challenge to set aside any bias I may have and reach out beyond my comfort zone to a community that has been rejected and hurt by those in the church.


Isn’t that what love does?


Kay



magsdee
Disabled
Joined in 2006
August 12, 2008, 14:22

Indeed Kay, love has no other agenda but to love.



superbbluewren
 
Joined in 2005
August 12, 2008, 21:12

As some of you are aware, my name is Ben and I am an openly gay Christian male.


As a follower of Jesus Christ I feel called to show love, grace and compassion to everyone, inside and outside the gay community.


Apart from just being ourselves and showing God’s love to everyone we meet, my question to you all is:


How can we best show love, grace, hope and justice to those particularly within the gay community???


ps. keep in mind I am meaning love WITHOUT an agenda. Not really with a gospel push. BUT more just showing people how much they are worth and how they are so important and valued.


Ben, I think that the gay community is no different essentially. It is important to treat people with equity and justice, and with care and respect.


My experience is that there are two key needs of gay men – to be considered good people and to be considered attractive. The first is the most important. So many people want to treat us as inferior beings. But we are essentially good people.


In every interaction, we should treat people with respect. Whether you are online on gay.com, gaydar or MSN, treating people with the same courtesy as if they are standing in front of you, is important. Online communications are just as important as communications face to face. Treat people as you would like to be treated yourself.


Self-esteem is the biggest challenge I have observed within the gay community. If you can help bolster self-esteem you will be doing a great job.


Regards

Mal



inertia
 
Joined in 2008
October 8, 2008, 23:21

Hear hear on the “love without agenda” comments! So many churches (particularly evangelical & pentecostal/charismatic) have the “save the lost” conversion mentality which I don’t think is where it’s at. i.e. if you aren’t in line with what that church is teaching you’ve gone off the rails… It makes me uncomfortable somehow.


So yes – just being there and being interested in people and how they tick and what drives them (without judging) is where it’s at I feel.


It’s also hard identifying as a gay Christian because a lot of the baggage of the “Christian” label – most people are turned off by the thought – and understandably so! Interesting topic – I like hearing stories of people who have identified as Christian and how their other friends take this and how some of the misconceptions may get shattered… 8)


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