South African 'out' at 22

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Joined in 2011
February 27, 2012, 17:43

Hey guys, this is my basic coming out story…

So I grew up in Durban, South Africa. It's a great place with awesome beaches and mountains! From a young age, though, I knew something was different.

Around primary school and early high school I realised that I liked guys, I was deeply attracted to them. I obviously was VERY scared and wasn't going to be telling anybody in a hurry, especially because I had grown up with a Christian background. At the age of 15 I accepted Jesus into my heart at a surf camp I was on. The surf camp was arranged by Sonsurf (Christian Surfers South Africa), and I later got baptised at North Beach, Durban.

Things were great! Serving God and getting to know Jesus was awesome, but I knew there was something I was hiding and struggling with in the dark. I thought I was demon possessed! I honestly thought there was something wrong with me! I prayed super hard and fasted long. I would cry often at night but I was determined to 'win'.

I ended up telling a couple I really trusted about my 'problem'. In a sense I was confessing my 'sins' because I honestly thought I was battling with a sin and was hoping that bringing it out into the light would help. It didn't, at least with regards to getting rid of my 'sin'.

Time went on and nothing was changing, yet I was stepping it up more in my Christian discipline. Eventually I started to give up on God and was burning out and losing my passion for my saviour. I was really struggling to win this battle and was blaming God and myself. Of course at times you think about taking your life. I am stoked I never got very far with that.

I decided one day to find out more about this homosexuality thing. At the same time I started to learn more about grace and unmerited love. I was blown away by what I discovered. From podcasts to blogs to books I started to figure out that there was nothing wrong with me. In fact I stopped questioning God. I realised that like with Job in the Bible, where was I when the Universe was created?

A long story short I came out to myself and started to reconcile my faith and my sexuality. Grace has helped me fall in love again with Jesus. I decided I was going to come out to my mom. That was a difficult night and I prepared for the worse but she was very gentle and loving, but also very stunned. My mom is now on her journey and she has come a long way. Things were difficult at first because she thought I could possibly change and she was very protective. Now, though, she is fully supportive and even wants to start up her own website to help Christian parents of gay children. She is incredible.

I have since come out to other family and close friends, as well as my pastor – who is also a good friend. I have been given a lot of support and I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the love and understanding. The hard part is still to come though, as tonight I launch my coming out video which will mean I will be out to the world.

I feel like weights have been taken off my shoulders, weights that have kept me down for years. I have indeed won the battle, not in the way I originally planned back when I was alone in the dark. Grace has helped me to win the battle over fear. I only hope to be able to help others win their battles to, so that they can be free to be themselves, and not how others want them to be.

Go to my website to watch my 'coming out' video and of course to regularly watch my other video blogs etc. Also go to for my channel.

Thanks for listening to part of my story. I feel though as if I am just getting started πŸ˜‰

Grace and Peace


Ann Maree
Joined in 2008
February 27, 2012, 21:58

Hi Wezflash

Wow – what a story and so well written. πŸ™‚

What a great mother you have too – supporting you and growing in the way she has. Wonderful to hear about. πŸ™‚

Your website is impressive too. I tried to watch your video blog but it wouldn't play. It might just be my computer rather than your site though.

I look forwrad to hearing more from you.


Ann Maree

Chapter Leader
Joined in 2008
February 27, 2012, 22:14

Hey, wezflash – great story. Well great so far. I'm sure that you'll have much more to share as the journey continues.

You may have already discovered, but there's some great resources on this site for your family, pastor etc which will help them on their journey of understanding. Some great sharing by mums who've been through what your mum is now going through.

Like all of us, there will be some ups-&-downs along the way – but hopefully, mostly "ups" for you.

God bless ~ david

Chapter Leader
Joined in 2008
February 27, 2012, 22:16

Oh, by the way, we have a couple of RSA guys (around your age) who attend our Chapter here in Sydney.

Joined in 2011
February 28, 2012, 07:23

Cool thanks guys (Ann and Forsetgrey)!

Ann the video should be working now πŸ™‚ Sorry about that but the video was set to private for some reason.

Forestgrey that sounds awesome, thanks for the encouragement. Please let those RSA friends know about my site etc. would love to hear from them and others!

Grace and Peace


Mother Hen
Joined in 2011
February 28, 2012, 17:51

Hi Wezflash,

Thanks so much for sharing your story, I'm sure it will inspire many and people will be able to relate to some of your journey so far.

So wonderful about your mother, be great if she does start a web site to help other parent's as so many struggle with it all.

Well done to you πŸ™‚

Joined in 2008
March 6, 2012, 20:23

Welcome wezflash!

Thankyou for sharing your lovely story with us! I'm so glad to hear your mum has taken such a supportive approach πŸ™‚ as forestgrey mentioned we do have great resources on the site as well as a parents and friends section which your mum might like to look at? If you don't already know there is also an organization called 'Pflag' (parents and friends of lesbians and gays) which is a tremendous support also.

We are all encouraged by your presence here on the forum and wish you all the best for your continuing journey πŸ™‚

Warm wishes


Joined in 2012
July 5, 2012, 03:25

Awesome vids man. Your story is very similar to mine so I can relate to what you've gone through.

Some of my favourite quotes that have helped me through my revelation are:

β€œToday you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."


"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

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