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Syph - Male, 33.

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Guest
December 30, 2011, 01:24

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forestgrey
Chapter Leader
Joined in 2008
December 30, 2011, 07:49

Syph – G'day! Welcome to freedom2b. And congratulations on the courageous step you have taken. Of course, that's not the end of the matter. You are on a journey which will bring peace and contentment. But, it takes time. And there will be some ups and downs along the way. I am sure you have been reading many of the stories on this site and will have discovered many who have been through similar experiences. But, be assured that it does get better. If you are anywhere near Melbourne, Sydney or Brisbane, try and attend a Chapter meeting (every month from starting again in February). Best wishes.

Guest
December 30, 2011, 08:19

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ammi
 
Joined in 2011
December 30, 2011, 08:41

Syph… welcome to the f2b forum…. I am so glad you found the courage to post here… Your story nearly brought tears to my eyes as I recognise the courage you have shown to come out to your parents and to take these steps towards some degree of wholeness and integration… So sad with you for the cost this journey has taken on you in terms of your mental and physical health.


I would echo what forestgrey has said… if you can get to a chapter meeting when they start again in February – it could be a really helpful thing for you – to actually meet people with skin on who has walked similar journeys to yours.


Bon courage…

ammi

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
December 30, 2011, 10:19

Hi Syph


Congratulations on coming out to your parents and for posting here at f2b! As forestgrey has said, this is the start of your journey toward wholeness, and there will be ups and downs but I can promise that things really do get better. 🙂

You've articulated yourself so well. I'm sure many will be touched by your story and able to relate to the suffering and process you've been through.

It's wonderful that your parents have been supportive. What a great gift that is. 🙂

Thank you for what you said about your experience with suicidal thoughts… That's so true that suidide isn't necessarily the easy way out. The mental anguish that you had around contemplating a suicidal act and how that would hurt others…. Yes I can see that was protective in terms of reducing your risk of suicide but without finding some kind of hope and acceptance, it could also create a deadlock for you, a kind of hell on earth; a torment that wouldn't be resolved either through ending your life or staying the same while living. I think your expression here has increased understanding about the extent of trappedness that suicidal people can experience, and how outsiders might over-simplify the process around suicidality. You have also taken a very positive step by sharing your story here. Because of that, there is now the opportunity for you to receive support and a sense of belonging from our community. From experience, being open and discovering understanding, acceptance and love can offer healing and release from depression and suicidality.

I'm glad you found Ben's letter helpful. It's a great one to use as a template and adapt to your own situation.. And writing a letter is something we often recommend. It gives both sides a chance to take the information in and reflect in their own spaces before coming back to discuss. It allows you to express yourself as accurately as possible without the heightened emotions which can sometimes cloud and interfere with communication.

We are all here for you and look forward to hearing more of your journey toward self love and freedom. Congratulations again! 🙂


Blessings,


Ann Maree

Mother Hen
 
Joined in 2011
December 30, 2011, 10:45

Hi Syph,


Welcome to F2B, you will most certainly find acceptance and support on this forum; you have come to the right place.


My son “Mr Summit” also wrote us a letter 12mths ago, he handed it to my husband and I and waited while we read the letter. When he handed us the letter I noticed his hands were shaking. When we finished reading it we both got up and gave him a big hug and told him we loved him unconditionally and accepted him for who he was. We never even entertained the thought of any anti-gay groups, we didn’t ask him “are you sure,” we knew our son well enough to know he would not have come to this acknowledgment of himself and go through the process of telling us if he wasn’t sure. As parents we have come to the revelation that being Gay is not a sin, we fully support and love our son in every aspect. He is an incredible young man who we are very proud of.


He is one of the leaders of the chapter meeting in Brisbane; I know he would love to see you at any meetings. We have been to a Brisbane meeting (as well as one in Syd) they are a great bunch of people who were very accepting and friendly towards us, I know they will be the same towards you.


There are different support groups for parents whose children are gay if your parents need that support for themselves. http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2. We haven’t been in contract with these people ourselves but they have some great info on their site which we found very helpful. They have a group in Brisbane too.


This web site is also a great resource for parents; I am also willing to offer my support to your parents if they need someone to talk to. Just send me a PM.


Now is the time for you to be true to yourself and concentrate on you, get your health back, your self worth. God loves you just as you are, you are among friends.


Definitely get in contact with the Brisbane group, so wonderful to have you join the F2B family.


God Bless

Ann Maree
 
Joined in 2008
December 30, 2011, 11:08

Excellent stuff, Mother Hen! 🙂


Blessings,


Ann Maree

Guest
December 30, 2011, 12:56

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Guest
December 30, 2011, 13:08

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Guest
December 30, 2011, 13:21

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