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Taboo Topics - What do YOU think?

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luke_18
 
Joined in 2008
March 12, 2008, 10:46

thanks guys! much appreciated. im with you now. apologies if i have came across “angendanessly” (sandy if you can get away with agendanessless, i figured i could get away with this one. ha.) and sand that quote you posted is good and quite true. and cheers anthony for your comment too.


thanks! 🙂



Desperate4Truth
 
Joined in 2008
March 12, 2008, 11:02

Here is something that I have noticed in various threads in this forum. When some one voices their opinion with a factual tone, things tend to get heated much more quickly than when people use more oppinionative statements. When you start out writing a sentence with “In MY opinion” or “I feel that” , or “this is what I believe”, or “I could be wrong but” it attaches you to your opinion. Not attaching your self to your opinion comes across to the other reader as threatening.

Take a look at these two statements. Which one sounds more harsh?


The Bible is the true word of God, and it clearly states that homosexual behavior is a sin.


In my opinion, the Bible is the true word of God. I feel that it clearly states that homosexual behavior is a sin.


Let me pick on Joe Dallas for a second. Im not picking on you Sandy, Im picking on Mr. Dallas. Any opportunity I can use to pick on Joe Dallas makes my day. 😉 😆 Now obviously this quote is from his book, but lets imagine for a second that this was Joe’s response to what somebody had written in a thread about being a Christian and being gay.


As Christians we are not called to presuade but to present. As stewards of truth, our job is to present the truth clearly, lovingly and responsibly. When standing before the judgement seat of Christ, we will not be asked how many homosexuals we were able to persude out of the gay Christian movement. But surely we will be asked how faithfully we stewarded the truth we’ve been given, and how lovingly yet boldly we presented it.” – Joe Dallas


I dont know about the rest of you, but if I read that in a post, I would be angry, it would push one of those proverbial “buttons” of mine because this particular statement is written very factually. It threatens my already fragile views on how I am feeling about being gay and also a Christian, and makes me feel like I need to defend my self.

Notice how he says so piously “as stewards of the truth, our job is to present the truth clearly…”

It sounds like Joe here is implying that the “truth” is that homosexuality is a sin, and I will surely go to hell if I continue to live in it. He says “When standing before the judgement seat of Christ, we will not be asked how many homosexuals we were able to persude out of the gay Christian movement

Now Mr. Dallas is entitled to his opinion, but imagine how less threatening it would have sounded if he took some ownership of his statement. He starts off by saying “As Christians we are called“….. woah, whoa, wait a minute. Im a Christian! What are you saying here Joe? But if he would have said, “In my opinioin we are called“. Ok, I can buy that. This is just what you think, not what I “should” believe as truth.


I dont think there should be a list of topics that are taboo, or rules put in place politely asking us not to discuss certain topics. I have only been a part of this forum for a week or so, and I can not even express how much reading all these post have helped me, even the ones I didnt agree with. I completely agree with Robert when he said..


Part of the problem with coming up in a Pentecostal type backgroud was that you could not comment or ask questions on issues you did not understand. For example, if you dared questioned doctrine on the godhead or baptism or any of the church teachings you were considered a troublemaker or even a heretic. EVERYTHING was taboo.


Most of us on this web site are looking for a refuge from the rest of the Penticostal Christian world telling us that we are living a sinful life and going to hell for being true to ourselves and accepting our sexuality. Most every one on here has heard the Churches argument against homosexuality. However, I think its good to have that “other point of view” It keeps the rest of us in check. So thank you Sandy 😉


Basicaly as long as ALL of us take ownership of our statements, and do it in a loving way we can debate, or discuss, or relate to, all day long with out people getting offended and hurt. 😉 🙂



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
March 12, 2008, 12:19

Desperate4Truth……..in my opinion you are a wise man……..and also a good communicator.



Desperate4Truth
 
Joined in 2008
March 12, 2008, 12:25

Thanks Anthony! 😀 Thats a perfect example! 😆 😆



Sandy
 
Joined in 2007
March 12, 2008, 12:32

Perhaps F2b is essentially more about healing than it is about the in’s and out’s of truth and belief, more about community than accountability


Is this true?



Desperate4Truth
 
Joined in 2008
March 12, 2008, 12:55

Perhaps F2b is essentially more about healing than it is about the in’s and out’s of truth and belief, more about community than accountability


I would hope this is true!


I think that there are many people (myslef included) that have some wounds that are still fresh from the Chruch’s views on being gay and also a Christian.

I think part of healing old wounds however, is being able to ‘talk about’ and ‘relate to’ our personal experiences with out the fear of repremand or belittlement.



Shantih Shantih Shantih
 
Joined in 2008
March 12, 2008, 16:44

You have a good point, John, but as far as I’m concerned, I can’t see how it would work to preface all comments with “I think that…” or a similar statement.


For one thing, I do it all the time and it never seems to work 🙂 . For another, if I had to start every major or minor opinionated sentence with “I think that…” I would go mad(…er 😉 ).

If people can’t tell when I’m stating my opinion (factual though it may sound) then said people aren’t very discerning. It is just implausible to begin every thought with a phrase that states it is subjective. I agree that when this is not done, it sounds like a challenge, and you are inclined to defend your position – but there must be a better way of doing things. Imagine how this post would sound otherwise:


I think that you have a good point, John, but I think that as far as I’m concerned, I can’t see how it would work to preface all comments with “I think that…” or a similar statement.


I think that, for one thing, I do it all the time and I think that it never seems to work 🙂 . I think that, for another, if I had to start every major or minor opinionated sentence with “I think that…” I think that I would go mad(…er 😉 ).

I think that if people can’t tell when I’m stating my opinion (factual though I think that it may sound) then I think that said people aren’t very discerning. I think that it is just implausible to begin every thought with a phrase that states it is subjective. I agree that when this is not done, it sounds like a challenge, and you are inclined to defend your position – but I think that there must be a better way of doing things.


😆 😉



Sparrow77
 
Joined in 2007
March 12, 2008, 22:25

I know I am a lurker but I wanted to put in my 2 cents worth. I must say I appreciate dialogue around scripture and what we can learn about how God feels about homosexuality. I think if we taboo certain topics, these coversations would be squashed and we would be left with a group of people who just agree with each other. I think it would be a sad loss if conservative Christians didn’t share their perspectives on this site (bearing in mind that I agree it should be expressed graciously and not in a judgemental way).


I was reading the forum objectives and came across that one aim is to “provide resources that document sexual orientation from a scientific, psychological and educated biblical perspective“. It suggests to me that biblical perspective is something a lot of people are searching for here(in a safe place). Most people drawn to this site have some belief in God and/or church experiences so I think that the bible will come into our discussions … some from the perspective that it is God’s word, and others that it is not. Either way, I think that people should have the freedom to express their perspective so we can then learn from one another. Otherwise, I think that the forum should change its objectives to suggest that it is simply a support group rather than a discussion board. Just a lurker’s thoughts …


March 12, 2008, 22:41

I know what you are saying Sparrow 77 but for me I grew up hearing that it’s not ok to be gay and Christian. We know the rhetoric and the arguments backwards. I don’t need to hear it anymore.



Anthony Venn-Brown
 
Joined in 2005
March 12, 2008, 23:53

Perhaps F2b is essentially more about healing than it is about the in’s and out’s of truth and belief, more about community than accountability


Is this true?


Actually i think that Johnny has made a pretty sound observation. in essence that is what I’d like this to be.


When I began getting 100’s of emails from readers there were very common threads.

1. People were extremely damaged

2. People were isolated and alienated

3. many had developed a self destructive lifestyle

4. People still had unresolved issue of their faith and/or their sexuality.


It broke my heart to know there were so many from our background and very little if anything was being done for them……and then of course there were the suicides. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omFLtASATcg


I guess i have the added benefit of over two years running the Sydney F2B chapter. Like the forum in real life. Honestly, people come in sometimes with major mental health issues but within 6 months or so they seem much better. some get sorted out then leave us. All we’ve done is provide a space for them to connect and talk with people who understand. It seems that is all that is needed for them to experience healing and resolution. We dont preach or argue. Just share and discuss relevant issues.


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