Taboo Topics - What do YOU think?

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Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
March 11, 2008, 18:44

We managed for the last 2 years to keep our space safe for all and even though some discussions have become a bit heated there have only been a couple of violations that we’ve actually had to intervene in. One was asked to leave, the other banned.

in most cases when people get heated and say things in a way they shouldn’t they usually calm down and apologise. that shows maturity.

Some topics seem to go around in circles and traditionally trigger peoples buttons. People have already made up their minds and the only arguement is only trying to change the others opinions and beliefs. So I’m wondering what your thoughts are about making some topics taboo. At the same time we need to be careful that we don’t destroy the dynamic that happens here which in the majority of cases is healthy.

if i were going to put a subject on the list, I would put the infallibility of the bible. Considering the broad range of our target market it would seem one group is trying to get the others to change their beliefs.

so what do you think? let things go as they are or what?

Maybe its more about being respectful of each others positions, communicating in a mature manner, being sensitive and not having an agenda to convert everyone to our position.

Joined in 2007
March 11, 2008, 19:05

*shurgs* every argument that has ever existed for a conservative stance on homosexuality is founded and maintained by the bible as God’s infalible word. I’m not saying you’re wrong Anthony, I have been in enough circular ‘debates’ to see your point. I am saying that if discussing the bible and promoting its infalibility is to become a taboo on this forum then there is really little point of my being here.

Let me know what the final consensus is.

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
March 11, 2008, 19:27

I’m certainly not wanting to stiffle discussion Sandy….i’m sure we’ve all learnt from some of our more hot topics. I know i have…….sometimes from having to thoughtfully articulate my current beliefs on some things.

Sandy said; “I am saying that if discussing the bible and promoting its infallibility is to become a taboo on this forum then there is really little point of my being here”

I’m not really sure that is true.

Can’t we state what we believe without the agenda to convert another to our way of thinking. its a difficult one isn’t it because sometimes our intention is not to make the other person wrong but that is the way they perceive it.

anyway……..I’ve tried to convert you several times…… 😆 😆 😆 … didn’t work :wink:…..or maybe you didn’t realise it. 😆 Please notice lots of 😆 ‘s

Shantih Shantih Shantih
Joined in 2008
March 11, 2008, 19:28

I think Sandy has a point on that front, Anthony. Some of us – even the less conservative of us – base certain arguments and logic on the Bible, and therefore on its reliability. If you were to make taboo the issue of its infallibility it may have some repercussions (mostly unintended) for people like Sandy and me.

Perhaps the best course of action (as I see it) would be to mention these hot-button topics in the Membership and Posting Guidelines section as topics that have come up and been debated before, and which should be avoided if possible. Although similar to making them taboo, it may achieve the same effect without causing stigma to be attached to one viewpoint or another.

Just a suggestion.

Anthony Venn-Brown
Joined in 2005
March 11, 2008, 19:41

maybe its the moderator job to jump in…..and settle things down or shut down a discussion that has become unproductive. thats a lot of work though.

I know that on some forums they have a special section where people can get hot headed…..and they warn the more gentile members to stay away.

I think i may have opened a can of worms here 🙄

Shantih Shantih Shantih
Joined in 2008
March 11, 2008, 20:02

I think the only problem with that Anthony is the arguments may not stay in that section. And even if discussions don’t boil over into other threads, then grudges, misunderstandings and ill-feeling almost certainly will.

This issue is more difficult to resolve than it first appears… 😕

Joined in 2006
March 11, 2008, 20:31

Personally, its great that we share what we believe, if there is a misunderstanding then yes by all means apologise but I havent come across one person on here yet who is genuinely peed off with anyone so far or is holding a grudge, if they are then the level of emotional maturity is starting to show with that person or a level of personal hurt that has nothing to do with the discussion or person involved.

Its not a question of forbidding anyone to believe in the infallability of the bible by stopping this topic, its a matter of if someone isnt believing it then let them be, there are other points of discussion we can make that dont bring about offence to either party. Should we not be promoting peace and it wouldnt be at any expence either, God can defend himself I have learnt and just because people dont whole heartedly agree or believe in something, is hardly going to remove him from his throne.

I think there is a level of maturity in knowing when to let things lie and to stay silent and when not to, Jesus did it, he never argued in circles to prove a point so maybe we shouldnt either and he didnt take offence if others didnt believe in him either or in who he was, he just moved on himself or changed the subject. Paul even talks about it, people needlessly arguing points back and forth about food was his example at the time, Im sure that can apply to anything. If you believe the bible is infallible great so be it but if not then thats you great so be it, God has never needed to prove himself. Come on everyone lets not start taking offence at each other and what we are curbing a little is all………please!!!! 🙁

Can we talk without chips on our shoulders and maybe start pulling

together and being understanding that we are all in different places. We are all trying to come to terms with certain things in our lives, some have and some are still, can we search our hearts a little and be like Jesus and show mercy and compassion.

(This is by no means aimed at ANYONE, Im just making an observed statement and hoping its taken in its heartfelt gentle tone that I would speak it in person)

Joined in 2007
March 11, 2008, 20:37

I read the last thread that was “locked” by the moderators. Actually, after reading the entire post by everyone, I thought it to be the most honest and real exchange I have encountered on this site so far although I am a recent member.

I thought the moderators stepped in at times and did a good job at cooling things down. That’s as it should be. It is my understanding that this web site is about talking, talking about whatever you need to talk about without being harmful to others. It was enlightening to see some of the people take their gloves off and show their real feelings about some of these issues.

A lot of people are angry that come here and obviously some comments stir up old wounds. New people coming here also need to see if this is a real place and if those who post here can also apologize if they lose it.

Even though I am relatively new, there have been ideas and subjects that I have totally disagreed with but I would never say to take the topic or discussion of that topic off the site and forum. Things do get heated but that’s real stuff, not some silver-tongued lip service. Part of the problem with coming up in a Pentecostal type backgroud was that you could not comment or ask questions on issues you did not understand. For example, if you dared questioned doctrine on the godhead or baptism or any of the church teachings you were considered a troublemaker or even a heretic. EVERYTHING was taboo.

If you can’t make those statements or ask those questions here, then where else do you go. We must have some kind of order here. I know that. I wasn’t coming back here. I felt slapped down already for some of the things I stated. However, we are either grown men and women or we are not. We all have Control problems. We are all coming from a very bruised and battered life and it’s likely that some of us are not as well as we think. If something is too controlled it is not a safe place for me, henceforth, the name “freedom.”

Life is not easy out here. If you can’t take a few knocks and blows in this forum then how can you expect to survive in the real world. “The God of my Understanding” means different things to many people today. I have to listen and learn from other peoples “stuff” whether I want to or not even if I feel some of it is full of baloney.

I have noted that there seems to be a lot of people registered on this site that rarely comment. It seems that most of the same people do most of the talking. Is there some reason for that? Leaving the forum doesn’t seem to be the answer. Isolation and lonliness is the reason all of us came here in the first place. Anthony opened this can of worms so now I want to hear what everyone else has to say. One thing the staff could do is reserve the option to simply delete nasty comments or ask the members to do it. They can begin with my present post now if they wish.

Silence is taboo.


Dove Snuggler
Joined in 2007
March 11, 2008, 21:49

Hi all

Robert, that was a great post and I agree this discussion has an admirable level of honesty.

Robert you said: “Part of the problem with coming up in a Pentecostal type background was that you could not comment or ask questions on issues you did not understand … EVERYTHING was taboo.” So typical of my own life, even though Pentecostalism came in later on.

I think the taboo thing is a great point along with the issue of our bruised backgrounds. I’m sensitive about the infallible Bible line because it appears to shut down other points of view. It appeared ok at first but has gained such a momentum that I’m also ready to look elsewhere to find affirming discussion. (That is affirming of GLBTIQQ people, not any specific behaviour).

I hope it’s not a lack of maturity that drives me but the power of personal choice. In saying that, I’m only 4 years old as an out gay man and I have a lot of learning to do. Discussion boards are also impersonal. You make a matter of fact statement and 10 people take you 10 different ways. It’s so easy to offend when you lack eye contact, a smile and the ability to be immediately questioned. Many antagonists and tyrants on blogs are actually mice in real life.

I just happen to be the exception. (I’d use a LOL emoticon here but they don’t work on my computer – just like quoting and editing don’t work, Anthony). Anyway, I’m thoughtfully outspoken in real life and cop the crap for it. I’ve been complemented (and abused) for my sense of humour and criticized for being too intense. I like to get to the bottom of things, especially as in my world it appears to be a life or death matter.

So chill! A new leaf perhaps? I could be more understanding of opponents and take the whole blog in a more light-hearted way. Perhaps I could stick around and see how it goes.

I don’t think we can ban topics but I think we can all be respectful of difference.



Joined in 2007
March 11, 2008, 21:58

“As Christians we are not called to presuade but to present. As stewards of truth, our job is to present the truth clearly, lovingly and responsibly. When standing before the judgement seat of Christ, we will not be asked how many homosexuals we were able to persude out of the gay Christian movement. But surely we will be asked how faithfully we stewarded the truth we’ve been given, and how lovingly yet boldly we presented it.” – Joe Dallas

There is a difference between trying to convert someone and stating the truth, and then in turn defending that truth against counter-claims. We have a biblical mandate to defend the truth Christ has given us in the bible. If I am not allowed to defend my beliefs then I will go, I could not stay and post with integrity. In fact all theological discussion (on which I am apart) is pointless if an individual does not assume the authority of the bible because I place full authority in it.

Actually Anthony it never registered with me that you had at one point tried to convert me, I picked you as more of a “live and let live” kind of guy. I supose I only see people as trying to convert me if we discuss what the bible says on a particular issue and as far as my memory serves me we have never had a lengthy discussion on the biblical validity of pro-gay theology, actually I have no idea what you even believe when it comes to the bible or theology so I’m not even sure what it is you were trying to convert me too. 😆

In the end, a conservative understanding of anything cannot be expressed without relying on the Bible and discussion can not prevail if others do not also see the bible as relevant. To taboo the authority and infalibility of the bible is to take away the very heart of the matter. It is the ONLY reason I have the opinions I do on homosexuality and without it I would rather not post at all than post non-commital niceties. Without the bible there is not much left for me to say.

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